I will crush you

I went to see my doctor today about the back pain I’ve been having. I had a pretty bad fall last week on the way out to the car and I’ve hurt ever since.
I brought the boys with me since they’re still on spring break. Oh, how they make me laugh. The nurse asked me to step on the scale, so I hop on. All of a sudden, I hear laughter. I look over and Ethan is laughing so hard he’s crying.
“What’s so funny, Ethan?” I ask.
“Mom, oh my God, you weigh more than DAD!” He says in a VERY LOUD VOICE FOR EVERYONE THERE TO HEAR.
I didn’t say anything until we were in the room waiting for the doctor. I asked Ethan why that was so funny. “Uh, men always weigh more than women, mom, you’re the Incredible Gigantic Woman!!” Yeah, I felt a little stupid, but I couldn’t stop laughing.
I tried to use the excuse “I’m pregnant”, but he wasn’t having it.
Nothing like a kids brutal honesty to humiliate you and put your fat ass in it’s place.
Don’t worry, I’ve threatened his playstation2 and his freedom if he tells a single soul how much I actually weigh.

6 thoughts on “I will crush you

  1. NinaKaye

    My son is still young enough to tell people that I’m not fat. And he still thinks I’m beautiful. I’m dreading the day he realizes he’s been wrong about how fat I am all this time. I’m sure he’ll let me know at that very moment.

  2. yvonne

    Well, he still won’t say i’m fat. Because while he was laughing, I said “I told you I’m fat” and he said “No, you’re not, you’re beautiful, you just weigh too much” hahhahaha

  3. Hed

    He he! That’s great! Kids are so funny. I can’t wait to hear what mine is going to say. She’s only 18 months, so right now it’s just Mama, daddy, kitty, and shoes…

  4. Hunter

    I hate that they said those things! I am about to cry now! Ikn ow they were being silly, but they need to know that they have a beautiful mom!

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