I can’t believe how the news of Waisty is affecting me.
I have this overwhelming guilt for not responding to the last email he sent me. I see it sitting in my inbox and it’s almost haunting me.
He was always kind to me. Very kind. And always made me laugh. Now I feel as though I didn’t appreciate the person he was the way I should have.
I feel like I let a friend down. And it’s tearing me up inside.
You know I how often say that I’m not a very good friend?
Yeah. Once again I think I can say that and know it’s true. Only this time there’s nothing I can do to make it right.

10 thoughts on “Regret.

  1. Tracy

    STOP THAT. You are a good friend, whether you choose to believe that about yourself or not.
    You know what? People die. They die every day. And in almost every case, people spend time saying “I wish I’d said that” or “I wish I’d done something differently…”. But we can’t. That’s the way it goes.
    So, you cherish the friends you have a little more…and you handle some people a little more carefully.
    But most of all – if Rick teaches you anything – maybe it could be to love yourself?

  2. Meeta

    Ironically Yvonne, I know exactly how you feel. Rick and I emailed each other a lot, and I saw an email from him yesterday and I thought, ooooh I’m busy I’ll email him later, and I never got around to it.
    I know I feel the same way as you, regretting that I didn’t email him when I had a chance.

  3. Genuine

    Honey just thinking you were not a good friend usually means that you were exactly the friend he wanted. He came to your site and you made him smile and laugh and made him care. What better could you offer? I’m sure he would also say this. I too am sorry to see him pass. *HUG*

  4. Hed

    Regret can be part of the grieving process, maybe as a first step. Don’t be too hard on yourself. There is no way you could have foreseen this. It really just goes to show the fact that we all have a finite amount of time on earth, and the fact that you, Yvonne, have something good, or funny to say just about every day shows the kind of person you are.
    It’s ok to miss him, but please don’t feel guilty. Circmunstances beyond anyone’s control…

  5. Jett

    Dearest Yvonne:
    Rick adored you, and while he was a very loving guy, he didn’t just adore any ole body.
    He valued you. That should be enough for you, because he had excellent taste and a gorgeous heart.
    You can call me if you need to talk. Really.

  6. JoAnna

    Yvonne, Melly, Jett – I wish I had been brave enough to post before now – you all are incredible. I am a lurker who doesn’t mean anything to anyone – and I just wish I could express my sorrow and grief and whatever to ALL of you now. Not that it would mean anything. I know you are suffering – I wish I could give you relief – I can’t. I feel like I know you all and I know I don’t – but I know you knew him. I am sad beyond belief and I wish I could make y’all feel better. But I can’t. But I do know this from reading each and every one of you – he loved you. You are all SO fortunate to be considered his friends. Take whatever you can from that. You are wonderful – and he loved you. Really he did – you could tell that from a lurker-point-of-view. All of you – please know that.

  7. racheal

    dear yvonne,
    i haven’t wrote much in the past couple of months, slacking on my part i know. i opened up my browser some time ago, maybe a month or so after you’d found out the baby was coming…i flipped through so many things wondering what to get you…and as usual i procrastinated. there are so many moments in time where things get in the way, silly things like money or school or time….so many things you want to do and mean to do but don’t. guilt hurts, i hope you feel better. and that’s a stupid thing to say to someone that’s hurting, but i still wanted to say it anyway. big big hugs sweetie. it’ll be okay.
    i somehow still passionately believe that there is a heaven, and in that heaven there is no pain, no sorrow only pure joy. somewhere deep within i know you know that rick is there too.

  8. Redsugar Muse


    I really didn’t know Rick, except from Melly’s comments, but I’m surprisingly bummed about his passing. Mostly because of other people’s reactions – Melly and Yvonne in particular. Both of you, snap out of it. You’re breaking my icy, black…

  9. Eden

    Yvonne, I’m so sorry… I didn’t know him, unfortunately, but it sounds like he was a great guy. How devastating.

  10. Rachael

    You did appreciate him. And even if you didn’t get to express it in the ways you wanted to, I’m sure he knows.
    Please take care. I know it’s a sad thing losing someone you know, even if you didn’t “know” them.

Comments are closed.