Don’t hate me because I’m smart

I figured out that I can get pretty much anything I want by starting my sentence with this.
“I read another way to naturally induce labor is to…”
I can follow that with whatever I am craving/wanting at the moment, and I’ll get it!
Me: “I read another way to naturally induce labor is to eat curly fries with ranch dressing from Jack in the Box. The combination of the spices they use on the fries and the ingredients in the dressing produces a natural poticin.”
Tony: “Yeah? I’ll go get you some RIGHT NOW!”
Me: I read another way to naturally induce labor is to have mudd pie ice cream hand fed to you while being told repeatedly “I live to serve you”. Something about the oreos in the mudd pie and the boosted self esteem.”
Tony: “I’ll get right on that!!!”
Me: “I read that another way to naturally induce labor is to douse yourself in Escada’s new perfume, Island kiss. Something about the combination of scents used simulating production of natural potocin. Too bad I don’t have any!”
Tony: “Is Macy’s still open?”
You get the idea.
I’m just trying to figure out how to turn a negative into a positive, people.

14 thoughts on “Don’t hate me because I’m smart

  1. kim

    there you are! all witty and positive. you’re almost there and will hold gabby very soon, i just know it.
    and i’m thinkin’ of you guys sending positive labour-inducing-vibes from overseas!

  2. keith

    Yvonne, if you have that little girl on my birthday (today,) I’m gonna have to bake a cake for her, and send it to you all. Hope everyone likes homemade German Chocolate with pecans and coconut!!

  3. Tracy

    {momentarily considering getting pregnant so I can have my own servant….and deciding THAT is just way too far to go…}

  4. Mona

    Bwahahahaah! That’s so funny I almost believe it was for real till I read the 2nd and 3rd and so on…

  5. Hed

    Might as well pull up a chair and laugh a for a bit if you have to be stuck like this for a while.
    Heh. Have as much fun as you can, girl!

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