“I will NOT touch it in public. I will NOT touch it in public. I will NOT touch it in public.”

While standing in the diaper isle at Target, trying to find my daughters size, I noticed a man looking (staring, actually) at me with a disturbed look on his face. Clearly, he wasn’t thinking “Damn, she’s hot” or anything like that. It was more of a “what in the hell” kind of look. I was trying to remain calm and not be all “What’s your problem, beyotch?” Then, I realised what he was looking at and why he was so frightened..
I was playing with my belly. That’s right, apparently, I play with my belly in public. When I say “play with”, I mean my hands are all up on my gut and I touch it, rub it, hold it while jiggling it around, sometimes, I gently tap it while I’m looking around. Like an old man showing off his beer gut in an attempt to make everyone laugh, only, I’m not an old man, and I’m certainly not trying to show anything off, nor? Am I trying to be funny.
Now that I’m aware of it, I have to fight the urge to PLAY WITH MY GUT. It’s not a big deal when I’m at home. Hell, I make music on it while it’s hanging out here in the privacy of my own home, but doing it in public? That’s just sick.
But how does one break such a habit? What do I do when I start feeling the urges to grab that sack of fatty goodness where babies once grew and start feeling it up whilst out in the real world? Tap dance instead? Randomly sock people in the head?
I suppose it could have been worse, I could have been talking to it.

22 thoughts on ““I will NOT touch it in public. I will NOT touch it in public. I will NOT touch it in public.”

  1. Shylah

    Hey, I’m all for socking people in the head. Most of the people deserve it, whether they realize it or not, and should be grateful you took the time to hit them

  2. Les~

    Um, hi. Guess it’s time to “de-lurk” ‘cuz I have something you might try. How about putting a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it when you see or realize you are reaching for your stomach? I know it’s worked for people that bite their fingernails. Not always, but sometimes. I have a similar thing I do, but it’s with my hair. I am constantly running my fingers through it or tying it in knots, or braiding and unbraiding it. It doesn’t matter where I am…what I am doing. I have caught myself over and over and over. And yeah, I have tried the rubber band trick for this obsession and it didn’t work for me – all I wanted to do was put the rubber band in my hair so I could take it out again! (heh!) My boyfriend has something he does too. When we are at the table eating, he has to have his left hand on his glass or can of beverage (at all times!) It’s like he’s trying to keep someone from stealing from him! He didn’t even realize he was doing it until I fronted him about it! Oh, and my ex-husband used to play with his belly button to put himself to sleep. I guess it just goes to show you we all have quirks and freaky things we do that are wierd/strange. It’s what makes us unique, yanno? Anyway – good luck and I hope someone gives you some useful suggestion(s)!

  3. Sarah

    I play with my bellybutton, when i get nervous or insecure my finger plays with the skin around it. I’ve gotten some weird looks in public too!

  4. Stacey

    I play with my boobs all the time for some reason (maybe cause I’ve never had a pair)
    That, and my new weird flappy belly button. It’s….fun.

  5. Mariposa

    oh screw him. you shoulda told him he shoulda been glad it wasn’t your cooch. Moron. WHY WAS HE LOOKING AT YOU ANYWAY!?? ASSHOLE!
    Sorry, I am feeling kind of violent today. 😐

  6. Rachael

    OMG! I play with my belly, too. I think there’s just something comforting about a little belly rub, and you can’t go asking random strangers to rub your belly, now can you? You’ve gotta take care of that yourself.

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