My family has decided that my daughter is “A Spoiled Brat.”
She’s attached to me. Very attached to me. So attached to me, that she cries when anyone else holds her.
I have quite a few more pictures like that. Gabby, in someone elses arms, crying.
So everyone’s all “She’s spoiled!” “What a brat!” “She’s TOO attached to you!”
One part of me, most likely the mentally ill/emotionally unstable part of me, wants to stand up and shout. “Of course she’s attached to me! I’m home with her all day long! And at least she loves me unconditionally and LOVES TO BE AROUND ME, unlike everyone else in the fucking world!”
Another part of me is frustrated and hurt by it all. I can’t help it if she’s attached to me. What am I supposed to do? Lock her in her room alone all day so she becomes unattached? WHAT?
“You need to leave her more and go out and do things without her”
Yeah, ok.
The girl won’t take a bottle and GOD FREAKING FORBID that my mother or my husband actually deal with her crying for a little while without acting like the world is come to an end. Everyone wants to make their comments, but no one wants to help me when I ask for it.
So I don’t ask. I just stay home with my daughter and I take care of her, and I love her the way a mama is supposed to take care of and love her baby.
What the hell do people want from me? I’m raising this girl the best way I know how. And in case people have forgotten, I’ve raised two wonderfully, almost totally perfect boys. I think I know what I’m doing.
It makes me so mad and yeah, it makes me cry too, because, do people think I WANT it this way? I’d love to be able to plan a night out with friends without having a time limit because Tony can’t deal with Gabby crying for me.
I’d also love to tell people to suck it.
Long and hard, man. Long.and.hard.

35 thoughts on “*fingers*

  1. angie

    And she is HOW OLD?? She is NOT a brat! she is incapable of being a brat. She loves you. You feed her the titty milk that she craves above all else. You make her feel safe. You are with her 24/7. Screw what anyone else says!! I’m sorry you don’t get a chance to go out more, or at all, but, like you said, you have two perfect boys to show for your “bad” parenting so they can all suck it!! She, and you, are gorgeous by the way! Kepp up the good work!!!

  2. carson

    Tell them that it’s called SEPARATION ANXIETY and it shows that she is a smart cookie who can tell the difference between LOVING MOMMY and DUMB OTHER PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT A BABY IS SPOILED FOR LOVING MOMMY.

  3. Ann

    Y, don’t listen to them. Until they sit down and pen a perfect and highly successful manual on “How To Raise All Children”, just do what you have been doing- realizing who your Gabby is, and responding and raising her as you believe. As her mother, you above ALL people would recognize her needs and personality more than anyone else.
    By the way, you look totally hot in that picture. I’m just sayin.

  4. Courtney

    Nothing compares to a mother/daughter bond.
    And I would have to agree, you look absolutely stunning in that picture.

  5. jen

    My son was the exact same way. It’s the little thing nobody tells you about breastfeeding until it’s too late.
    Sure, it can be really really frustrating. But she’ll outgrow it. My son did. And he is a totally awesome human being.
    You rock, Momarosa!

  6. chasmyn

    Cha. She’s not spoiled, she just knows what she likes. She knows herself. Forget them, eff them. They don’t know her like you do, they’re just mad that she doesn’t like them. 🙂

  7. Tish

    If spoiled is having a loving momma who is giving a child the BEST FREAKING NUTRITION in the world, then dammit, honey, you are spoilin’ that baby.
    SO, here’s my question? What’s a former breastfeeder have to do to get a link with you? I can’t lactate anymore, done dried up.

  8. Stacey

    I hear the exact same things from my family. It DOES hurt.
    Even though I know it’s true. hehehe.
    You look awesome in that picture!

  9. NinaKaye

    I didn’t like people when I was little. Unless I was around them pretty much everyday, I cried…and even hid when I was older. My baby girl didn’t like anyone except me when she was smaller. She’d let them hold her, sure, but after a few minutes she wanted me. She outgrew it….to the point of “I’m staying with Grandmother!!” coming out of her mouth everytime we leave my mom’s.
    Plus…people always LOVE to tell you what to do and how to do it, but they NEVER want to help with anything.

  10. Echo

    I think you should just go on parenting the way you feel most comfortable. If she wants to become unattached at some point, she’ll grow out of it. My son was very attached to me until we quit nursing, and he quite independent these days.

  11. Sarcastic Journalist

    People say to me how “spoiled” my daughter is. These are also the people who “hate” me because of my web site and who “Never want to see me again.”
    At least my child isn’t a “brat.” She may cry when you hold her, but it’s only because you SMELL BAD.
    and by you, I do not mean Y. I bet Y smells good. Like tortillas.

  12. Lisa

    Oh, so do tell those stupid people to suck it. I’ve so been dealing with this same issue myself these days and venting about it on my blog. And telling people to go suck it because I am so fed up with such stupid comments like the ones you are also hearing. Ok, like she is SUPPOSED to be attached to you. You are her mommy. That’s what happens to babies with good mommies who feed them good mama milk. They get attached to said mommies. My girl is 11 1/2 months old, exclusively breast fed, has NEVER taken pumped milk from a bottle (now of course does take solids and water from a cup). My baby also cries when certain people hold her. My baby is not spoiled. She is smart. She knows a good thing. Mama Milk. Mama. Good things. Idiots who call her spoiled. Bad thing. They deserve to be cried at!

  13. Hed

    Just start hissing at them when they give you crappy unsolicited advice. If they are too stupid to understand that they are crossing a line, they deserve to be hissed at. Bare your teeth and everything. Trust me. It works.

  14. AMANDA


  15. Mieke

    I think if anyone called one of my children a brat I’d tell them to go fuck themselves.
    Gabo was also very, what I like to call, Mommy-focused. He’s outgrown it for the most part, but it still resurfaces from time to time. Each kid get there on their own time, I wasn’t worried about it, and you shouldn’t either.

  16. Mariposa

    Know what to tell them ? DAMN RIGHT SHE’S SPOILED AND I LOVE IT…
    Seriously I hate people. They say things about my son like this as well. Of course he’s spoiled he’s my baby and he is home with me all day, fuck off. Like you said nobody else is volunteering to take her for a little bit.
    Enjoy her, and savor her and in awhile you will get some time, mama. You and Gabby will be close as ever, just like a mother and daughter should be, and when she is 18 years old with a life of her own, you will have nice things to remember with her, because of your being so close.

  17. susanne

    GREAT PIC !! of u and ur lil girlie . Don’t mind them, they are just jealous cos she loves u more ;P
    *keep smiling*

  18. Amanda

    My daughter was the EXACT SAME WAY. I swear she was attached to my body until she was about nine months old. She would gag and cry like you were trying to kill her when you tried giving her a bottle. She would not eat baby food either. It was the tit, or nothing at all. She wouldn’t even let her daddy hold her til she was about 1. I got the same shit from my family. Who cares? They suck. My daughter is now almost 7 and she is perfectly normal and healthy. But she is still very attached to me and she attempts sleep overs, but usually ends up coming home to her momma… which is fine by me. I think Momma’s girls rock 😉

  19. ben

    Looks to me like Grandpa farted in that one picture. I’d pitch a fit, too.
    She’ll be fine, I’m sure. When she’s ready to go exploring, she will.

  20. jen

    I just started reading your site and wanted to say that you and your daughter are gorgous!! I don’t have any children, yet (1 on the way) but isn’t that a phase that all kids go through? Isn’t that a healthy thing? Keep up the good work, it sounds like you’re a great mom!

  21. Chelle

    I remember all those same comments so well. Especially the, “she’s TOO attached to you”. That is just so stupid. Babies are supposed to be attached to their mothers, that’s why God gave us boobs to feed them. The strong attachment she has to you helps her to feel safe and secure while she gains more and more confidence to explore on her own. I know you know this, I did too, but it sure makes you feel lousy when people make dumb comments. It makes you feel like maybe you are doing something wrong. I know it feels like you will never get a break, and sometimes the time drags on forever while you wait for just a little time for yourself. I didn’t leave my daughters at all for months after they were born, and then when I finally did venture out it was just for an hour or so at a time for errands. At the time I know I wished for “me” time, but now, I can hardly remember it being a big deal. Time goes by so fast, it won’t be long before you can leave her for a little while without it being a big deal. And you can look back fondly at the days when all she needed was you. You are doing a great job. Look how happy and beautiful you both are!

  22. Tammy

    Boy Terror won’t even eat solids from his father. And he’s not spoiled! Gabby is NOT spoiled!! They are just jealous because she is smart enough to love you best!

  23. MollieBee

    Gabby looks so grownup in that picture, and so pretty in yellow. You look wonderful, Y.

  24. Donna

    that’s the separation anxiety thing kids go thru between 9mo to nearly 2years. I’d be loving it…Soon enough she won’t want to be *your* baby anymore. ~cry~

  25. missy

    I’d tell them all to fuck off. When they are the ones doing 99% of the raising of her, then maybe they have the right to tell you what they think you are doing wrong. Until then, I agree with your thoughts. She loves you, wants to be with you, and you are her primary provider. She should be attached to you! Tell them to suck it girl!
    By the way, that is an absolutly gorgeous picture of the two of you.

  26. Janis

    So… A baby who knows how much she is loved, feels totally secure in the love shown for her, who feels safe wit her mommy is a bad thing?
    Yeah right.
    Next time, smile and ask if they’d like a nice hot cup of shut the fuck up.
    Some folks are just assholes.

  27. jenni

    They grow out of it so fast. Let her be with you. Love her. I wish people would get that’s how we get loving people in this world, by loving them. She needs you. Eventually she will pull away. Tell them to bite you! Love that beautiful girl as much as she needs and more! BTW she is adorable.

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