The girl knows how to get what she wants.

Today I made my first real attempt to fix Gabby’s hair all pretty. As you can see, it didn’t turn out very pretty at all.
The reason?
My boobs.
She was standing in her crib, I was standing facing her, with no shirt on, just a bra. A nursing bra. A nursing bra with snaps in the front.
As I attempted to put the baretts in her hair, she was attempting a little experiment of her own. The girl was trying to figure out how to how to unsnap the bra.
She grabbed. She grunted. She pulled. She grunted some more. And then, finally… “POP!” And out came the boob.
She let out the loudest “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” I’ve ever heard and did a little victory dance. (Which I have to admit, was totally precious)
She got lucky, I thought.
Yeah, right. As soon as I snapped it back up and resumed combing her hair, she unsnapped it again.
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” She squeeled, again.
“I’m trying to make you look pretty, you big stinky! Leave my boobs alone! PLEASE! Stop the insanity!”
Psh. As if. “POP”.
That was it. The girl had figured out “the system” and she wasn’t going to stop. I went and put a shirt on.
Gabby didnt’ like that. At all.

“You won’t leave my boobs alone, I’m not going to fix your hair pretty. You get to go to the doctors with jacked up hair!”
I had a revelation as she was ripping my bra off. Infact my inner voice spoke to me. “I think it’s time you wean the girl, because, it’s only a matter of time before she starts ripping your shirt off in public whilst screaming ‘I WANT BOOBIE NOW!!'”
Gabby’s pediatrician told me it might be time to start weaning her and start introducing her to whole milk (and I didn’t even tell her about the bra incident!) She’s not gained much weight since the last visit and she said that it could be because my milk supply is dwindling.
I think she might be right, but I’m not sure about the whole milk thing before a year. She said it’s ok, as long as I introduce it slowly. I want to believe her, but I noticed she doesn’t wash her hands for 30 seconds, which leads me to believe she doesn’t watch Oprah.
And really, what kind of a mother would I be if I trusted the opinion of someone who doesn’t watch Oprah?

21 thoughts on “The girl knows how to get what she wants.

  1. Laura

    She is just precious. I’m so jealous that your daughter has three times more hair than my daughter, who is twice her age!!

  2. ben

    Wave your boobs in front of me and you can do anything to my hair you want. I’m just saying.

  3. Tammy/averagemom

    She looks all purty!!! Did she leave the barretts in? That’s the fun part.
    Boy Terror started real milk at 8 months, and it was fine. Allergies run in the family, so I was worried, but it’s all good. And yeah, any day now that little girl is going to whip out a boobie at Starbucks. Won’t that be fun? “Look, I brought my own milk!!”

  4. Mieke

    I have seen your daughter. That is not a starving child. Who the hell is your pediatrician? What an idiot. She’s wrong. Does she not read the literature on nursing? How the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for AT LEAST A YEAR? That the World Health Organization recommends AT LEAST TWO YEARS? Why would she suggest weaning? Why not ask you if you are feeding her WHOLE MILK yogurt? Or asking you if you feed her HIGH FAT foods like avocados? Or if you are making her Oatmeal that you mix it with breast milk and yogurt? I have forgotten the reason that yogurt is ok, but it is, maybe because of the active cultures or something.
    Why does feeding your daughter WHOLE MILK have to be done at the exclusion of nursing? Human milk contains just the right amount of fatty acids, lactose, water, and amino acids for human digestion, brain development, and growth.
    The reason the Amerc. Acad. of Pediatricians suggests not giving her milk before she is a year, not only because of the potential for allergic reactions but also because of a chemical reaction that they have to the milk where the iron supplies, already fairly low, are further depleted.
    I would call her back and ask her why she suggested weaning and not supplimenting with higher fat food? One of my best friends is a Pediatrician if you’d like to talk to her about any concerns you have. I’d fire your doctor.
    Not that I feel passionately about this or anything.
    Useful links:

  5. y

    Ok… soooooo, I read your comment, Mieke and I starting thinking about what my doctor actually said and guess what? She never actually told me to start weaning her. That was what I THOUGHT she meant when she told me I should start giving her milk. It’s how I interpreted what she said. Does that make sense? Like, I was talking about wanting to wean her blahblahblah and then she asked if there were any milk allergies in my family and then said “You should start introducing her to whole milk”. I took it as she was telling me I should start weaning her, but she didn’t actually say that.
    Have I mentioned I’m slightly retarded?

  6. Vickie

    On that Oprah thing…you may want to rethink that comment. Did you see her show today? Dear sweet Lord in Heaven she had on a doctor talking about how to check your poops. They should not “plop”, and they should be “S” shaped. Or least in the shape of a banana. And little marble-size poops arent ok because they tell that you’re constipated. HE’S SAYING ALL THIS SHIT (excuse the pun) WHILE IM TRYING TO COOK DINNER.
    (Yes I know I could’ve turned off the TV. I was just enthralled and morbidly curious about the conversation he was having about POOP.

  7. y

    Um, Vickie, that Oprah comment? Um, I was kind of being a smart ass. You see, I pretty much hate Oprah and I don’t understand how so many wimmins take every word she says as the word Of God.
    In other words… IT WAS A JOKE.
    (oh and isn’t it just so CUTE how she calls Salmon “Sammy”? PUKE)

  8. Eden

    I think it’s absolutely fabulous that you’ve been nursing this long and whatever you decide to do from here on out is what will ultimately be the best for Gabby too. I don’t think I would give her regular ole’ whole milk until she’s at least a year but there are other ways to give her calcium, formula being one of them. Also, you could pump and give her breast milk in a bottle if you just want to disassociate her from the boobs (like, if you planning on weaning soon anyway). MY rambly point is that she certainly won’t suffer any if you decide to wean now and put her on formula or anything and she’s gotten a WORLD of good stuff from you thus far.

  9. hed

    Awww! She looks so darling! I could not do that with my kid when she was Gabby’s age.
    You know, the one thing that I was told about introducing milk before she was a year old, was to do it slowly, and don’t let myself dry up, in case she might be allergic to it. I didn’t end up introducing cow’s milk until she was about 14 months old, and she was ok. I’ve read and also heard that goat’s milk is a better transitional choice before one year, because molecularly, it’s more digestible. Don’t be afraid to play with it a little, and watch her to see what she’ll tolerate.
    Good luck!

  10. Vickie

    I know you were being sarcastic.
    (So was I)
    I can’t stand that woman and I know there’s no love lost between you two as well 🙂

  11. Mieke

    To clarify. If you are ready to wean by all means do, you gotta do what works for you and whatever it takes to make the mama happy.
    I was reacting to what you said your pediatrician said. Now that you’ve clarified it makes sense. Eden’s suggestion of switching to formula if you decide to wean is a great one.
    I feel better now.

  12. carson

    Whew. I gotta say, I’m one of those militant breastfeeders, and I reacted to your post in about the same ways, in the same order as mieke. You do whatever you need to do, but if it’s actually a weight thing, I would go with the fun yummies (have you ever tasted a Yo Baby Yogurt? I would eat that, except it might be good for me.) instead of moocow milk.
    Thanks to mieke for going ballistic, so now I don’t have to, because I don’t have the energy.
    But nursing/weaning/introducing cow’s milk? Since you the mommy, you get to make that call, and don’t let any internet person tell you different.

  13. justme

    I agree, you have to do it when YOU are ready. I nursed my son until he was 14mo, but I started to wean him a bit at 11-12 months. I cut out certain feedings at first and gave him booby milk in a bottle. This is the only thing I will advise you on. DON’T wean on a bottle lol. Just makes you have to wean again to a cup.
    I really was surprised at my self that I did nursed until 14 month. I nursed my first, but had to stop at 4 months. Long story. So when my second came along I decided not to even try. I missed it so much that when my third came along I wanted to try again. But had it in the back of my mind that I would nurse until about 10 months or so and start weaning then so that by 12 month I would be done.
    I had a friend that nursed until somewhere between 18-24 months, and that child would tug at her shirt and tell her she wanted milk, at the park, in the store and in a restaurant lol. I just knew I wouldn’t have been able to handle that. I think you will know when you are ready to start weaning. Don’t let any one tell you, guilt you, to stop, or keep going.
    just sayin 🙂

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