Can not think of a title because AAAAAHHHHHH.

If my neighbors read this blog, then they are about to find out that I AM CALLING THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT ON THEM AS SOON AS THEY OPEN TODAY.
I don’t care if they know I’m the one that called. I’ll wear I shirt that says “I called the health department on my neighbors.” for the rest of the week.
I’ll shout it from my rooftop.
“I called the health department on your dirty asses!”
Just so we’re clear, I’m not calling on the one’s who Slice each other. I’m calling on the ones who are sick, disgusting, filthy, nasty PIGS. The one’s who let a man live in their RV for over a year and TAKE SHITS IN A TOILET THAT CAN’T FLUSH FOR THAT ENTIRE YEAR. The ones who collect junk and have junk, trash and more junk in every room of their house, piled so high and so wide that you literally can’t find a place to sit. Because they enjoy DIGGING THROUGH TRASH CANS TO FIND “TREASURES”
Those neighbors.
So, why am I FINALLY calling the health department on them? Because, yesterday, their son tells us that they’re going to sell their house and buy property up in the desert (which, I’ll believe it when I see it. They’ve been saying they’re going to put a new roof on for the past 8 years. ) Anyway, as he’s talking to us, he’s telling us how disgusting their house is, how it’s full of junk and casually he mentions that it’s so bad, “they have mice in the house.” He then says “My dad will set a trap, and he’ll catch 5 or 6 mice IN A NIGHT.”
Did ya get that, people? Half a dozen in one night.
If you understand how much I hate all things bug and rodent related, you’d understand the sickness I felt in my stomach at that moment.
And, you’d understand the pure terror, disgust, fear and OH MY GOD I HAVE TO MOVE THIS VERY MINUTE right this minute after hearing my husband say “Honey, we need to buy a mouse trap… I just saw a MOUSE IN THE KITCHEN.”
I immediately began to cry and panic.
He got all pissed at me, like “get a grip, woman.”
But he was more pissed at our FUCKING NEIGHBORS because this is all their fault. They have infested the ‘hood with mice. And now there is a mouse in my house and I seriously do not know how I am going to get the courage to get out of my bed and walk around this house, not knowing when a mouse may run across the floor.
We’ve never had a mouse in this house. We’ve had ants (because this neighborhood is built on a freaking ant hill),we’ve had potato bugs.) But mice? NEVER. (Ok, we HAVE had a rat in the garage, but that’s different. THAT’S OUTSIDE, NO WHERE NEAR MY FEET OR MY CHILDREN.
I’m freaking out so hard about this, that Tony asked if he needed to stay home. Inside, I was like “yes, you do, you need to stay home and hold me.” but I know he has to work so we can pay the bills (and now, THE EXTERMINATOR) so I sucked it up and told him he could go to work, that I would be ok, but that I could only hope the mouse didn’t attack our daughter whilst she casually strolls through her home that SHOULD BE FREE OF MICE.
I feel sweaty and my heart is racing because it is time for me to get off of this chair and wake up the kids. If I see the mouse, I will scream and I will cry. Is this normal? To be so upset and freaked out by a mouse? A MOUSE THAT IS WONDERING AROUND MY HOUSE?
How will I function today? I am literally paralyzed with fear right now. I should have already had the boys up, but here I sit, unable to move for fear of seeing The Mouse.

33 thoughts on “Can not think of a title because AAAAAHHHHHH.

  1. Itchy

    OK. I know it’s hard to think rationally when something you fear is in the house…I’m the same with the spiders so I completely understand. But I’ve dealt with mice before…not a lot of mice, we only had like 4 total one winter but we caught them very easily. We’d set the trap at night and by morning we had ’em. Put a little bit of a snickers bar on the trap…they seem to like snickers. At least here in the east they do! 😀 Good luck…I hope the Health Department can do something about the neighbors….ewwww…

  2. Y

    I’ll go pick up some traps this morning.
    I know I’m being completely irrational about this. We had mice now and then in my house growing up, and my parents were very clean. I know it happens, but you have to trust me when I say these neighbors are disgusting, dirty pigs who are a health hazard.

  3. Chaeriste

    Sweetie, I clicked on the potato bug link and you’re worried about a mouse? Christ… I’d rather have mice than those things. Try to relax. One isn’t taht bad and once you call the health dept and they see the filthy ass neighbors you have, they might come in and get it themselves. Fear not.

  4. Z

    May I recommend glue traps? They work the best although they are also the most disgusting. We got overrun with the critters last winter at work and I nearly stroked out because of it. Foul, foul, foul plus they are creepy. Take deep breaths and get you some glue traps sistah.

  5. lauren

    i had this same exact problem. i tried traps and poison and even one of those sonar things that plugs in and is supposed to drive them away. nothing worked. i went to the internet and searched and searched and found person after person who swore by peppermint oil. apparently they hate the smell. i was skeptical b/c after all a professional exterminator couldn’t rid me of them. but i figured what the hell did i have to lose? guess what – it works. i shit you not it is their kryptonite. so now every month i buy a bottle of peppermint oil (about $7) and i load up about 20 cotton balls and put them all over the house – specifically where i saw the mice (which was under the couch and one running from the living room to under the stove, in the water heater closet, in the A/C heater closet, under my cabinets, in all my storage closets, and even up in my attic. that was a year ago and i haven’t seen a mouse or evidence of such since then. plus the house smells minty fresh!

  6. Debbie

    Did Tony try the “its more afraid of you than you are of it” shit on ya? My hubs tried that ONCE and then when I did the freak out on him because we had a mouse in the house he soon learned that NO, His wife WAS more afraid than the mouse.
    Use the d-con mouse proof stuff cuz it makes them dehydrate and LEAVE your house to seek water. The bad things about traps is having to view their mangled little bodies.

  7. Mary

    Are you close to a lot of family there?
    Seriously for the amount you pay there you could live in the country club here!
    Tony would have no problem finding a job here either.
    Definitely call the HD on those people…that’s just nasty.
    When we first moved here we saw a mouse and I put out poison (under the stove and behind places where the baby couldn’t get it). They mice disappeared and no nasty traps.
    I still keep it behind the stove and haven’t seen a mouse since (7 years)
    I just couldn’t stand the thought of dealing with dead mice.

  8. geeky

    i will take mice over potato bugs or spiders any day!
    also, mice are supposed to love peanutbutter, which is probably why the snickers worked for Itchy

  9. mart

    oh, now, mice are cute. Really, I have had pet mice when I was kid (in a cage not the house)
    Just a mind set. But the potato bugs, OH MY GOD!! EEEK they were scary! I live in SO CAL and I have never seen such a gross but ever. The mouse is more afraid of you than you are of him.

  10. Heatherg

    Mice dont bother me but i may be in therapy all next month over that photo of the potato bug thingy.

  11. JustLinda

    Our old house was nearly 100 years old and every time the weather turned cold, we would get one or two. I hated it nearly as much as you seem to.
    I feel for ya. Seriously. {shudder}

  12. Nopoodle

    First off, if I was in your kitchen right now I’d tell you take a deep breath while I poured you a shot of bourbon.
    Second, how do you feel about cats? We live in the woods and any time I have gone more than a year without a cat-pet I end up with a mouse. But now, two kitties who I ADORE! and not a mouse in sight. So if you can live with a cat, he’d probably adore you back for all the fun you’ve allowed him to have by demousing your neighborhood.

  13. Colleen

    Gah. I hope you called the health department. Yuck.
    In regards to the mice, most mice are nocturnal. Yup, they are more active at night and ya know, they move really, really fast. Just try to think about that.
    In regards to the glue traps, just think that the mice don’t always die immediately when they get glued to the trap. That means they are alive, and may make, um, noise while still alive, and glued to the trap. Just something to think about.

  14. Amy S

    OK I live in the country and we have mice. Not alot because we have 3 awesome mousers (cats). I think what’s worse than the mice themselves (i try to prtend they don’t come in the house) is the fucking smell of one decaying in the wall or somewhere you can’t get to to toss it in the garbage.
    So my suggestion …. get a hungry hunting cat, only feed it every other day and the mice will magically be gone.
    Just so everyone knows, my cats are healthy and one weighs 8 pounds and her sister weighs 11 pounds. They do not starve.

  15. girlplease

    you’re not being irrational. you keep your house clean, why let these asshole, stinkbags ruin your health and the health of your kids. did you know that mice carry fleas? you don’t need fleas. fuck them and they’re dirtbag ways. they’re ruining the neighborhood. call the health department and the police.

  16. Dawn

    I didn’t know Dr. Suess wrote stories for the hood. A mouse in my house,
    A crack fiend in the tree.
    Joey’s in the RV and,
    whoa is me!
    I’m just kidding, Y. You know that shit is funny to hear though. Yes, I would wig about a mouse as well. I hate critters. I wanted to move because of lizards, so I feel you for real.

  17. danelle

    I’ve heard many times that for every mouse you see, there are at least 10 you can’t see. This site ( says: “If you see one, there could be 20 to 40 nearby. If you see two, there could be 50.”
    If they are in the walls, poison will only cause them to die in there. Not good. Traps are the way to go, and make sure everything in your cupboards is sealed up in tupperware or ziplock bags, not just closed. If the food supply dries up, they will move on. Make sure the kids don’t eat on the carpet, crumbs in the carpet is a huge attraction. Sweep the floor after every meal in the kitchen.

  18. girl

    I had mice in my apartment back in Michigan. they usually came in during the Winter through the radiator along the base of the floor. my cat was absolutely worthless, so I bought one of the really easy to set plastic traps, slapped some peanut butter on it, and little Tom was taken care of in one night. I had a couple more over the years after that and they were never a problem to get rid of. I’m pretty used to them b/c my parents live out in the country and we’d get mice in the drop ceiling of our basement ALL the time.

  19. Chelle

    My recommendation would be to get a cat. The mice can smell the cat and probably won’t come in.
    Also, I would use d-con over a trap. It thins their blood so much, that is what they die from. They get very tired and go to sleep and shrivel up, there should not be any smell. Really. Please don’t get glue traps, those are very cruel. I know I would be freaking out if there was a mouse in my house too, but I still would not want it to suffer needlessly. Plus, you might find it wiggling around on there still. Ugh.
    I think it’s very normal to be upset about the mouse. But I would be way more paralyzed with fear from those potato bugs!!!
    Good luck!

  20. jenny lee

    dude…want my cat? when i lived in this other apartment with my best friend, we had a mouse that my cat sammy caught. i can send him over. 🙂

  21. clickmom

    We had a mouse in the house once. My son insisted we get one of the live traps to trap and release the mouse. We got him the very first night and took the trap for a 20 minute car ride to release it far far away. When I shook the little critter out of the trap it HOPPED away. A mouse? I don’t think so. It was like a freaking kangaroo. To this day I have no idea what I caught and released 4 towns away. Now if I suspect something has come in, I get mouse poison when I am out alone.

  22. chris

    Oh I feel your pain. We live in a rural area and get mice in the house every now and then. When we first moved to the area I completely freaked out and wanted to get our money back from the previous owners of the house.
    I still will scream and stand up on furniture. But I have sons who will set the traps and dispose of them. We always use the snap kind and throw the entire things away –mouse and trap.
    They love peanut butter, btw.

  23. Girl

    A MOUSE?!?!?!
    I’d move. Forget the trap! I cannot sleep when I know there is a mouse in the house. Pack your kids and move!

  24. k8

    ha! you would totally freak out here. we live next to a field and they just harvested it so all the mice ran for their beady little lives. guess where they ran to?

  25. Rainy

    Holy cow. I live in So Cal too and I think that maybe we share neighbors! At least, my neighbors share a lot with me, like noise and craziness and roaches and dramas and their taste in music and…. OH yeah. I think maybe I know your neighbors. Or if not them? Then EVIL TWIN NEIGHBORS FROM HELL….

  26. nine

    yea. Holy Cow. i think those evil So Cali neighbors are triplets…
    generally mice do their best to stay out of your way. if ya see ’em, oops. they totally didn’t mean for you to. call the health department STAT tho because DAMN. them neighbors sound like ten kinds of NASTY even without the mice.
    i’m with the others that say get a cat. every time you go to buy a trap? more money spent. (not to mention the EEEEW factor of disposing of them *shudder*) you can pick up a cat for FREE and it will shower buckets of love on you for years in addition to keeping your house mouse free (and spider free too – you should see Sadie go after ANYTHING that moves in here!).

  27. Lucy

    I just had a mouse in my house, so I will go ahead and offer up more suggestions. I saw the mouse one night and was petrified, so I left the tv on all night. He didn’t come out that night, at least I didn’t hear him and he didn’t go for my traps. I also highly recommended stomping instead of walking, it will scare them into hiding. Mice don’t usually come out during the day, so you will probably be fine until Tony gets home. And hopefully if you put out some traps you will catch him tonight. Moral of the story: loud noises keep them away!

  28. kimmie

    Your feelings are very normal… well atleast to me, because I hate them and am terrified of them too.
    And good for you for calling the Health Department!

  29. hed

    Loud noises really and truly do work. Once we had mice in our house when I was growing up, and I can remember one time distinctly, when I saw one in the kitchen, and I screamed so loudly the poor thing tried to run out of earshot, but it scrambled so fast that he fell on his back, his legs going like crazy, trying to grab onto the air to get away from me. Just scream really loud. Show the little bastard who’s boss! And open the door when you do it!

  30. sherri

    I had mice at first and now I also have rats!!!! We live on a dead end with a lot of woods around us. I hate this house anyway, but until we can move, I’m stuck here. We have tried the regular mouse traps and the glue traps. The regular traps didn’t work but the glue traps do. However, as much as I hate these things, the glue traps are horrible! If the trap would kill them immediately, it wouldn’t be so bad, but, they suffer for a couple of days. I guess I shouldn’t care, but it is a pitiful sight to watch it struggle and struggle and then just starve to death. My husband has to get rid of them, because I’m certainly not touching them! I keep seeing this peppermint oil idea and I’m trying that now. I hope it works. I saw a man on tv say that mice and rats are allergic to it and they won’t come around at all once you put it out. Maybe you should try it too. The man said killing them isn’t going to solve anything because they just keep coming and having more babies and they multiply pretty fast according to him. That also makes me sick to think about. Anyway, I hope you found your mouse and don’t get any more.

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