The 10 year old me would have been MORTIFIED

As a young girl, I had this fantasy about having my very own “Signiture Scent.”
My dream was this (and yes, I actually remember saying these words outloud) “I want my very own smell, one that people know me by, so that when I walk by when they have their eyes closed, they’ll know it was me just by the smell of the air as I pass by.”
Oh, The Dramatics. I think I was about 8 when I said that and man, I meant it.
I would spend hours in the bathroom mixing powders with water and lotions, trying to create my very own scent, but, I quickly learned that powder+water= paste and NOT perfume, so I was forced to chose a scent that was already in existence and make it my own.
Unfortuntely for everyone in my life, especially those who had to sit next to me for an entire church service, I decided that my “Signiture Scent was TEA ROSE!”
But that only lasted for a little while, because, one day, whilst cruising the isles of Kmart, I discovered “Wild Musk” by Coty.
That “Signiture Scent” only lasted a few weeks, because one day whilst looking for a new flavored lip gloss at Kmart (or Ha! HA! “Came Apart” as my husband, the Really Funny Guy, likes to call it because, GET IT? K-mart, came apart?), I discovered “Sand and Sable”.
Helloooo, coconut beach in a bottle on my body!
I realize now how incredibly confusing this must have been to The People, because, the whole idea of a “Signture Scent” is that when people are praying and I walk by they know it’s me by “my smell” but I was changing smells every other week, so, HOW COULD THEY KNOW IT WAS ME?
I have no idea why the “scent” thing was such a big deal to me, but it was. I was obsessed with the idea of being recognized by a particular scent. As I grew up, I realized that this idea was ridiculous because MAN, there were a lot of beautiful scents out there and I could not limit myself to one.
Many of my “pre-kids” shopping days were spent in the beauty department at Macy’s and I always got the “new” scents as soon as they came out. I developed the incredible skill of being able to guess what perfume a women was wearing at any given moment.
“Is that ‘Pleasures’ your wearing?” I’d ask the random stranger at the market.
And I’d always be right.
I never imagined a day would come where I’d no longer recognize the latest “scents” from Macy’s because I’d not be able to afford the “good perfumes” and I’d be forced to douse myself in cheap body sprays from Target and Bath and Body works.
And THE LORD KNOWS I never saw the day coming in which my “Signiture Scent” would be “Tittymilk mixed with a lil’ funky arm pit with a just a hint of bad breath”.

32 thoughts on “The 10 year old me would have been MORTIFIED

  1. Carla

    That’s funny, I use to be the same way. When I was growing up, all the women at the fragrance counters knew who I was…the little kid who loved perfume and always wanted samples. I have a bad enough addiction to makeup so I couldn’t afford perfume too. And what exactly is wrong with Bath & Body Works? That cotton one smells GOOOOOOD. 🙂

  2. Y

    No nothing wrong with bath and body works! I LOVE bath and body works. LOOOOOOOVE.
    I’m just saying, I can’t afford the $50 bottle of perfume.

  3. Y

    haha! Well, I kinda thought, but then I’m like “oh no, I don’t want the bath and body people hatin’ me, I bettah explain!”

  4. Hed

    I practically lived at the perfume oil counter, of the perfume oil shop that was kind of like Garden Botanika, but unlike them, they are still in business. They had whatever you wanted. When I was in high school, my signature scent was Cucumber, because I was in art class one day and someone commented on how someone smelled really good, but they couldn’t place the scent.
    I always had to be different. I never told anyone what that scent was. And recently I found a bottle of it in a box in my attic, and good lord, was I taken back! It was like a little high school reunion in a bottle.

  5. girlplease

    Would that be “eu de titay” or “oh de tit hayyyy”?
    My kid perfume used to be Wind Song (cause you’re always on my mind).
    Now it’s Tuscany. I mean I like it but my husband bought the vat-o-the-century so now I’m stuck with Tuscany until I’m 90.

  6. kristine

    AMARIGE by Givenchy is my signature scent.
    When I was younger. Exclamation! was it. Ohhhh I loved me some Liz Clayborn (red triangle)
    Your post made me laugh. I had forgotten how much I love your blog. It’s been too long since I have been here.

  7. Tammy

    I loved Musk by Coty…I can’t find it anymore…then I moved on to the wonderful Sand and Sable, until my boyfriend told me it gave him a headache. Now, I smell like whatever Hubby bought me the last few years that I can still find on the dresser. Of course, I just read the comments above, and I want to rush right out and get some Exclamation! so I can relive college!

  8. shannon

    Duuuuude. I was a Signature Scent girl myself! First it was Love’s Baby Soft, then onto Coty Wild Musk, then Lady Stetson (only because my boyfriend at the time…in junior high…wore Stetson), then Debbie Gibson’s Electric Youth. Good grief. Then it was on to Exclamation, then Navy, then I have no idea. It was a blur of perfumes from then on.

  9. clickmom

    I got a few perfumes for my sweet 16. The Lauren by RL smelled like BO to me, Halston was real nice but too recognizeable (alas: I too wanted my own unique signature scent) and Chanel 19 did the trick- I liked the smell and no one ever knew what it was. I wore it every day without fail until the day my first son was born and then I realized I didn’t want him breathing perfume fumes all day long.
    Recently unearthed my collection from the attic, but apparantly the temperature fluxuations of the attic, or maybe just age, makes perfumes virtually scentless. Humm, now I have to start all over if I want to smell purty.

  10. Dania

    Everyone knew me because of the smell of my hair. “Gee, Your hair Smells Terrific” was my signature scent.
    I even had bubble baths in the stuff.

  11. j-mo jen

    i can so relate to this post….i think i’ve had my fair share of ‘signature scents’ – i went through the love’s baby soft thing, as well as that horrible lauren stage – now, i’m totally a romance girl…and the guy’s romance cologne? will make me a puddle. a puddle i tell ya!

  12. debutaunt

    Lauren. Then Fred Hayman Beverly Hills. I’m diggin Estee Lauder’s Beyond Paradise now. I may be bald, but damn I smell good.
    Eu de tata is the proper usage.

  13. FlippyO

    I loved Sand and Sable and the cute little pebble shaped bottle it came in. I’m a big buyer of mini-sized perfumes because I don’t like to be locked into one scent. I’m the anti-signature scent girl.

  14. NinaKaye

    Malibu Musk body spray in a green aerosal can. I don’t know why I ever even bought it because the day I got it home I thought “ugh, this stuff stinks!” Of course, there was the Love’s Baby Soft and the Navy. Now I wear soap and shampoo. I hate perfume. (probably because of the Malibu Musk…hehe)

  15. Y

    Do not be ashamed. Tea Rose was “the shit.”
    Also, I totally forgot about my “jean nate” obsession.
    mmmm body splash.

  16. steffers

    Went thru all the same crap but now, as a respectable woman of ‘a certain age’, I wear Philosophy’s Amazing Grace–or Pure Grace which just smells like clean towels, very sexay!!

  17. Katie

    Ah, the memories. I even wore the Soft Musk (I think that’s the name) from Avon along with Love’s Baby Soft, Exclamation, and Wild Musk. My best friend then was into something called “Red” a knock off of another perfume, I’m sure. And the guy’s scents, just a whiff of Dakar Noir or Cool Water reminds me of old boyfriends.
    Now I wear a perfume called “Balance” from Eddie Bauer, I don’t even want to think about what that says about me.

  18. girl

    my new favorite line of scents is from Demeter., they have a ton of natural smelling stuff and fun stuff that you wouldn’t think of making a perfume out of. I’m currently wearing the Orange Cream Pop and I smell good enough to lick.

  19. Lisa

    I’ll wear anything. Right now my favs are Cherry Vanilla and my own combination from Garden Botanika that’s a mix of vanilla musk, cherries and almond. Ok, yes, I like the food scents. 😉

  20. girlplease

    Jeanne Nate. Oh god. I recently bought some because for some sick reason, I actually like the smell (bought the powder too). I put it on and my husband goes, “why does the bathroom smell like my grandma?”
    I immediately took a shower and threw out the Jeanne Nate.
    So for now I wait 50 more years to splash on the Nate.

  21. skits

    Is it wrong that when I read the first sentence about your signature scent, I thought this was going to be a fart post? hahaha!!

  22. Tammy

    I have this odd thing where scents remind me of people. Not so much a perfume but a smell that each person has I can tell you who it is just by smelling them. Maybe I was a dog in another life.

  23. kristal

    I have a bottle of Tea Rose… My grandma wouldn’t let us borrow it because it was too ‘special’. That and her Rosemilk Lotion. I was an Obsession girl back in the day. Now, I wear Michael. I bought it as a joke ~ look, honey! I’m wearing YOU! But I like it. Ans I can’t justify spending $50 on perfume either…

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