“Whatever Works”. (Or, My Style of Parenting)

“I don’t like Olives! They’re disgusting!”
“Fine. Then I’ll give all of your olives to Daddy! Here Daddy, you can have Gabby’s Olives!”
“Oh, thank you Mommy! I love Olives!”
“Well, Gabby thinks they’re disgusting, so you can have them, Daddy. Too bad she doesn’t like them because I bet she would love to have pink poop.”
“What Mommy?!?”
“Yeah, Olives make your poop turn pink!”
“They do?”
“Daddy, can I have my olives back, please?”
*puts an olive in her mouth*
“Mmmmmmm. I love olives. mmmmmmmm!”
She ate them all—every single last one of them.
That right there was some genius parenting.
Except, not really because that girl remembers EVERYTHING and I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do when she “makes a turd” and it doesn’t come out pink.

46 thoughts on ““Whatever Works”. (Or, My Style of Parenting)

  1. AlwaysCurious

    If or when I have children, I plan to come back and re-read every last post of yours for parenting tips. 🙂

  2. mickey

    My coworkers never know what to think when I spray Dr. Pepper out of my nose and laugh hysterically at the computer. Thank you for a much-needed giggle!
    BTW- my mom used similar tactics on me. She got me to eat Eggplant Parmesan by telling me it was mini-pizza. I was also gullible enough to believe that Santa Claus & the Easter Bunny wouldn’t bring goodies to little girls with messy rooms, so that’s the card she’d play to get me to clean my room at least twice a year.

  3. lani

    Just have her swallow a wad of Double Bubble gum and your problem is solved. We can’t get my oldest (same age as Gabby) to stop swallowing the gum, and I’ve had to change my share of “pink” diapers. You haven’t lived until you’ve smelled Double Bubble poop. Be forewarned, though, it’s very confusing to the senses.

  4. Karly

    Mm, olives. I love ’em. I was just at the grocery today and was looking at salsa and they had green olive and cilantro salsa. Ohmigod, it sounded good, but I chickened out at the last second. I’m regretting not getting that now.

  5. AJ

    My mom did kinda the same thing to me with purple popsicles. I hated them until she told me that they were her favorite and she was not gonna let me eat them – they were HERS.
    My favorites now are the purple ones.
    Not sure if the pink poop would have swayed me, but you know, maybe it would have.
    This might sound crazy but I think there is a website that actually helps you find what to eat to make your poo change specific colors. I will totally post the address if I can find it. The stange things people start websites about…

  6. Danielle

    The sad part is that the whole time I’m reading this I was getting excited about trying my own poop pink. I hate olives but was willing to try them again just for the poop. Thanks for nuthin!!!
    But my pee does smell like sour kraut right now.

  7. Sarcastic Mom

    Pssssssssssst… slip some red dye in something she eats or drinks, fast. 😉
    And, all hope is not lost, because you can DEFINITELY use this trick to get her to eat beets. They turn pee and poo reddish/purplish.
    Lots of vitamin C will give her dayglo yellow pee.
    You can tell her that asparagus makes your pee smell funny… but I’m not sure she’ll go for that.
    Ok, that’s all my pee colors and smells knowledge.

  8. steen

    Just tell her she didn’t eat enough. And keep telling her that until she gets old enough to catch on… or until she starts telling her teachers and friends that olives turn your poop pink and the school nurse shows up one morning with child services in tow.

  9. SassyPants

    That is fantastic!
    Now I can tell my children that I’m not the only mother that is going to be paying for a whole lot of counseling in the years to come.
    Muwahahaha, LOVE IT!

  10. witchypoo

    Heh. Pick your battles. Now she might not believe you when you tell her how awesome it is to see corn in your poop the next day. There’s no way you can shove some beets in her face.

  11. Jess in MI

    lol, you could always drop a bath fizz in the toilet LMAO, it will make everything pink! Im just sayin lol

  12. Valeta

    That is awesome.
    I tell my son if he eats whatever I want him to eat at the time it will turn him into a Jedi, and he eats it.
    Kids obsessions are great.

  13. clubpenguin

    Hey everyone! I’m back from New Jersey, and fully got the website up to date, and I even finished screenshotting all the catalogs I still needed to do! So starting tomorrow, I’ll be working on that. I hope to be done with all the catalogs by the end of July, although I have nearly 300 MB of catalog pictures to upload…..
    Anyway, we updated a ton of pages. They [url=http://cp-memories.piczo.com/ Club Penguin fansite]Club Penguin fansite[/url] include the following lists/guides: Club Penguin Event Log, Item List, and the Dance/Wave/Sit List
    And the following pages: Servers, Elite Penguin Force, (with a new video) Issue 194, Club Penguin Blog, Desktop Backgrounds, Website Banners, and 101 Days of Fun. Enjoy!

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