My daughter asks a million questions a day. Her most recent line of questioning is related to bodies.
“Mom, why we have teeth? To chew?”
“Mom, why we have hands? To touch things?”
“Mom, why we have ears? To hear things?”
I usually just nod and say “Yes! We have ears to hear!” and “Yes! We have teeth to chew!”
Today, she decided to take the questions to a place she’s never gone before and of course she did it while we were out amongst the general public.
Her (in her most sincere, but VERY LOUD voice): Mom? Do you have hair on your butt?
Me: (Smiling at the dude who turned his head to hear my answer, you know, to play it off as if my daughter did not just ask me if I have a hairy ass.) No, G. Mommy does not have hair on her butt.
Her: (Again, totally sincere, but also VERY LOUD): Ooohhhh. But do you have hair on your pachina?
Me: Um, Yes. I do. (Sorry, no brazilian wax for me because ha ha AM NOT GETTING ON ALL FOURS FOR A COMPLETE STRANGER.)
Her: Oh man. I wish I had hair on my pachina like you.
Me: Look! A bird! Flying!
OH MAH GAW. How embarrassing. You handled it well. I still think her questions about vagina’s are better than my 4 year old comments awhile back.
Me: Sitting down to pee
Her: Momma, is that your giney?
Me: Yes.
Her: Ewwww!
Children are so refreshingly innocent, aren’t they?! 😉
I wish I’d have the guts in a situation like that to actually start talking about why I don’t go for the Brazilian wax. Very funny!
Yes, I do absolutely love, love four. I love it so much, I do it times two everyday.
bwahahahaha gooood gabby!
hahahahahahaha. Too funny. Like when my son asked me to smell my armpits in line at the grocery store because he wanted to know how bad they smelled. 🙂
Ahhhh yes, kids are so very… LOUD.
That’s ok, just remember- payback is only a few years away!!!
She certainly has a healthy dose of curiosity, doesn’t she? Why do they always do that when you’re out? It never happens at home. With no one else in earshot.
You handled it very well!
Hahahaha!
One day KayTar was using the potty as Josh was getting out of the shower and she LAUGHED and LAUGHED and pointed and said, “What is THAT?!” and laughed some more.
Kids, they know no boundaries.
Hahahahahahahaha!
My baby sister called it a “bungina”. Heh.
That is all I can say.
One of the very MANY reasons why I don’t tell my daughter the names for annnnyyyyyy thinggggg LOL
Too funny.
that is just too funny
Oh yes. I’ll probably say to mine, “Listen, sweetie. Let’s talk about that on the day your first child is born—which, if you’re like me, will be the day you cease caring that you have naturally occuring bodily hair. Okay? Who the HELL has time or patience for a Brazilian when there is a bottle of wine in the fridge?”
oh, wow! this sounds waaaaay too much like my own conversation with Little Man. except it involved boys having willies and girls lacking willies and daddy having a “furry willy.” LOL
So glad that my kid isn’t the only one who asks millions of questions per day. about body hair. 😉
If you have to get on all fours to get a brazillian, your waxer is crap. I’ve never had to do that – how humiliating!
I love your girl child. She is precious!
Oh, there were men around! My biggest (so far) was when Balcony Princess was two and we’re in the airport in Chicago and it was suddenly so quiet – no hand dryers, no toilets flushing – and she says, all top ‘o tha lungs to ya – MUMMY, I SEE YOUR GIIINA. Then she dives for the floor to climb under the stall – I’M GOING TO SEE IF ALL THE LADIES HAVE THEIR GIINAS AT THIS AIRPORT.
The place exploded with laughter and I, strangely, chose to be proud.
Wish we were closer so our princesses could play and make us laugh all day.
I know it was humiliating at the time but… HAHAHA!
My friend told me a story of her daughter accidentally walking in on her daddy when he was in the bathroom and running out to the living room where my friend and her mom were having tea. She screamed “Mommy! Granny! Daddy has… A TAIL!”
My friend, of course, was mortified.
Even more so when her mother (the granny) said “oh… Is it a long tail?”
They have the most uncanny sense of timing.
That is hilarious! I can’t wait until my little guy is old enough to talk and crack me up about stuff like that. I suppose I’ll have to put up with the 99.9% of mundane talking to wait for a winner like that!
FYI…check out my blog tomorrow as you’ve been mentioned by my Friday Featured Blog blogger, CanCan from Mom Most Traveled. The post will be up at midnight tonight.
“Daddy has a tail” made me cry. That is so damn funny.
Also, if we had been at home when she brought it up, it probably wouldn’t have even been funny, but bring that stuff up in front of men I don’t know and seriously? LOOK! A BIRD! is the best I can do.
ooh so funny. Make sure you print out this post and save it for her to add to her hope chest of items to be given right before her wedding. She can look forward to her own daughter asking about butt hair.
As for my kids, they would never ask. They would not have to. Usually it is THEM telling ME to put some clothes on. I’m a firm believer in “show it to ’em now, they won’t be quite as curious later.” Oh, but they may need therapy, I guess.
Oh, as my computer is all “LOADING” I re-read my post. Please don’t think I set my kids down and take off my robe and…. IT”S NOT LIKE THAT. All I mean is that I am not very modest when I get out of the shower, when I am getting up in the morning, when I’m changing into my swimsuit, etc. It’s normal, I promise. But just with much less modesty.
Thank god for distractions. I’m not sure how I would parent without them.
…all fours?…
Oh I would have just melted into the floor. Kids.. you have to love em. You do, right?
You just KNOW that guy told everyone he met today that story!
Hello.This is first time for me to visit your site.
I have three children (6year-old boy,4year-old boy,2year-old girl)
My kids ask lots of things to me everyday,too. I have to answer lots of question for each of 3kids.
I’m happy if you link to my site.It is written in Japanese(some of the words are English) but show pictures.
http://baratchfamilykidspets.blogspot.com/
i love G. 🙂
Oh my, this almost made me shoot milk out of my nose. Some of the comments were as funny as the original post! Gotta love kids and their candor.
That’s too funny Y! Well, maybe not so much for you. My daughter went through the exact thing… sorta. To her, basically everything below the belt was your “butt”. Luckily, she didn’t decide to scream “MOM, you have hair on your butt!!! in public. We were tucked safely in our bathroom at home. Only the immediate neighbors and half the town heard it through the open window. *sigh*
LMAO! She is just the most precious thing.
Hi, Shelly the lurker here!
I decided I would comment since this topic is HILARIOUS. I myself have no children but have alot of friends who do. One experience I was involved in was where my friends 3 year old was shopping with us. I should have known he was bound to say something when we went into a lingerie store. He kept pointing at all the bra’s and yelling, “PINK BOOBIES! YELLOW BOOBIES! GREEN BOOBIES!” That entertained the other patrons as his mom whispers, “Hunny…those are bras, not boobies.”
We head to the next store and I go to the change room to try on a few shirts. The little monkey sticks his head under my stall and yells, “SHEWEY I SEE YOUR BOOBIES!!!”
Embarrassing? Yes. Completely hilarious? Most definately!
my waxer doesn’t make me get on all fours. just saying…;)
When I was 5, I (very loudly) asked my dad what the “f-word” meant…only I didn’t censor myself.
And when do we cross that threshold, when does the great change come? When do we stop wishing for hair on our pachinas?
Your kid is awesome.
LOL, THAT MADE MY DAY!!! I needed that, too funny.
Gotta love it. Gabby, you’re the best.
My daughter is currently running through the same loop of questions. She recently questioned the hair on my privates. Why is it there? What does it do? Can I have some? Most of the questions occur when she runs into the bathroom while I’m showering and sticks her head inside the shower curtain.
Kids, no censorship required!! You have to admit, it is funny.
Lurker here. Your daughter is too cute! Umm, I’ve never had to get on all fours for a brazilian though. That’s a very funny image as well as imagining your daughter and you talking in the store:)
I related this story to a friend.
me: hee, I love little-kid talk
him: pachina. sounds latin: vox pachina. spose the literal translation of that would be ‘voice of the vagina’
Hahaha.
“Pachina”. That’s a new word for me. I like it. Next week when I go in for my BRAZILIAN on my “pachinan”, my man will be chillin and willin.
The other day I ate something that made my stomach angry….. without going into details my kids were asking me if I was ok. I said yes and went about my business. My oldest son is obsessed with bodily functions and found it necessary to tell the little one ( who is 3 ) that mommy had diarrea ( sp ) well…. I had a doc appt later that evening for a yearly checkup and my 3 year old asked as I was coming out into the waiting room…. “MAMA DO YOU HAVE DIARREA????”
yes, every single one of those people in that waiting room turned around and looked.
Kids…. gotta love em 😉
My 5-year-old son recently told my husband he looks really grubby all the time because he’s so hairy. “Your bum just looks dirty” he said!
Oh. My. Lord. You just made my day! Thanks for the laugh! I think you just convinced me to have children. 🙂
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