Hopefully this is as bad as it gets.

When you have a child entering The Teenager Years, people like to tell you about how awful it is. How much hair you’re going to lose from the stress. How much you’ll want to slap the shit out of your once adorable little child because they will talk back! How scared you’ll be when you’re not home because they could be doing drugs! Or impregnating girls! Doing Graffiti on abandoned buildings! I understand those are all very real possibilities. I watched my own parents struggle with a son addicted to drugs. (He’s clean AND a minister now, so it all worked out.) To say I was dreading these years is an understatement. I was TERRIFIED.
My oldest is now 16 and guess what? It’s been easier than I ever imagined.
Until he went and got a girlfriend.
It’s not that he’s doing anything awful. He’s not. If he’s not home on the weekends, he’s at church, practicing with his band from youth group. Or at the movies with friends from church. He doesn’t talk back much more than any kid his age would. He’s never raised his voice to me. He’s never lied about where he’s at.
But the phone. Oh my God. THE PHONE.
He’s on the phone from the minute he gets home from school until the time he goes to bed. I have to fight with him to do homework because he’s too busy laying on his bed with the phone attached to his head. And if he’s not on the phone with her, he’s chatting with her online.
Monday night I had HAD ENOUGH. His father had told him to get off the phone at 8pm. At 9:45, The Middle Child came out of the room, annoyed that he couldn’t sleep because The Teenager was still on the phone. “Mom, can you PLEASE tell him to get off the phone?”
I walked down the hall, slammed his bedroom door open and told him to hand over the phone.
“When will I get it back?” He asked.
“Not tomorrow, that’s for sure.” I said.
He didn’t say anything back, but he did let out a Very Loud Sigh.
“That’s what you get for not obeying your parents.” I said, while looking up at him. Damn Teenagers, growing taller than their parents.
I fully expected him to start begging for his phone that morning. His argument would be something like “but Mooomm, what if I need to call you for something after school?” And my argument would be “not my problem. You should have thought about that before you disobeyed me!”
I was pleasantly surprised when the morning passed without a single mention of his phone. “He’s a good kid.” I thought to myself. “I’ll give him his phone back when he gets home from school.”
Just after school got out, I got a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize. It was The Teenager. “Mom” he said. “You’re going to be so mad at me.”
My heart dropped.
He continued.
“I took my phone this morning.”
“What? Why would you do…”
“BUT MOM! Let me finish! I got it taken away. My teacher took it away. You’ll have to come to the office to get it.”
He’s had his phone since the beginning of his Freshman year (he’s a junior.) That has never happened. It was as if Jesus said “I’ve got this one, Mom.
Thank you, Jesus.
Tony thinks we should pick it up without telling him we did so. I think we should leave it there for at least a week. It’ll be there when I’m good and ready to pick it up.
So, yeah…Teenagers.

36 thoughts on “Hopefully this is as bad as it gets.

  1. Carmen

    HAHAHA – I’m not laughing AT you, I’m laughing WITH you. I took Allegra’s phone this week for disrespect – I’m OVER the eyerolling, huffing and grumbling, but the blatant yelling at me sent me over the moon today.
    Hang in there, sister. I’ve got your back.

  2. stephanie

    Haha… The Teenager’s first lesson in learning that Karma’s a B*tch.
    Is there any real reason that he needs to have his phone while he is at school? I mean, WE survived high school without phones, didn’t we? And he certainly shouldn’ t be making calls or texting while in class (which is why I assume it was taken away). Maybe until he gets his phone use under control, you keep it with you until he gets home and finishes his homework, then he can have it for the rest of the night. As far as the computer thing, that might be harder because I assume kids these days get assignments that require them to go online.

  3. Leeann

    Ha! Poor kid. The Fates got him. lol
    I had an evil car that would snap its clutch EVERY time I was somewhere other than where I was supposed to be. And I could have to call home. And it would suck.
    I have to tell you, though, that I will be very surprised if “this is as bad as it gets.” lol

  4. Jenera

    I would leave it at the school too. That way if he tried to take it again or work you to try and get it back, you can honestly say you can’t.

  5. Trini

    God, I would leave it there for the whole bloody term if I could…
    On a more realistic note, if the phone is going to stay in the pokey for a while, you should let the school know when you will be coming for it, just so that it doesn’t get permanently “lost”.

  6. MammaLoves

    We’ve already lost one phone to the ocean and one to the toilet (texting while peeing, really?).
    And this was all in the first year he’s had it.
    Teenagers! Exactly.

  7. earthami

    What my best friend does is call the phone company and turn it off anytime the phone has been taken away, her boy’s phone is taken away OFTEN!

  8. oliveoyl64

    I feel like you are writing MY life with a teenager. Only diff is, my ds is the ONLY teen on the planet that does NOT have a cell phone. GASP!!!!!!
    He has however recently aquired a girlfriend and is doing the whole chat crap. It was bad enough when it was his boy cronies, but now to add a girl to the mix……. arggghhhhhh

  9. Susan

    Just a thought- I work at a high school and we don’t keep those phones for very long. We donate them to womens shelters and such- so I would go and pick it up and not tell him.

  10. Damsel

    FWIW, after having worked at a high school, I agree with Susan. The phones don’t hang around long, so I’d go get it if I were you, and lock it up!

  11. Julie

    I have followed your blog for over a year…never felt the reason to comment…BUT..
    As a teacher…..you go! I am Glad we get to do some “Jesus work” at school every now and again. So many parents yell at us when we take phones! Glad to see your reaction. Keep your humor! It will so help you survive the new experience that comes along with a dating teenager!

  12. tracey

    Stop it. You’re making me verrrrrry scared…. 3 more years until it’s official (though the pre-teen stuff is equally fun right now!)

  13. Mary

    I have a boy 19 and a boy 16 with cell phones. I assure you, the teachers will worship you if you come pick up the phone and just don’t mention that you have it for awhile. They are used to parents yelling at them for taking away the phone, if you can believe it.
    This is a good time for you to re-negotiate how often and how long he can talk on the phone.
    Teenagers are such a pain, but oh, so worth it. I adore mine. Sometimes i want to kill them, but they are so funny and so interesting and are growing into such awesome people.
    Now my 12 year old daughter wants a phone, and I am so not ready to go there.

  14. Rosemary

    I have a 15 yr old daughter and a 16 year old son. Pray for me.
    Go, Jesus! I also use the phone and the computers to keep the eye rolling, heavy sighs, incredulous looks, etc etc etc, in check…….. In our case, phone is necessary for son since his part time job time is updated by text that he checks every day after school. Luckily for me (and the teachers) there is no reception in about 90 percent of our high school. I’m not sure if that’s something the school has done on purpose, they say not. I gotta wonder, though.. aren’t there ways to jam cell phones?? I say, GO FOR IT HIGH SCHOOL.
    Keep the teenage stories coming, I can SOOO relate..

  15. Tamara

    This might actually be as bad as it gets for you….you raised him to be a decent young man, and now he is!
    I am a high school teacher. In my classroom, if I see your phone, I take it. And if you argue, I call your parents….on your phone. From the classroom. And talk to your mom in front of the entire class.
    It works. I’ve only had to do this once per class.

  16. Karen

    I know exactly what you are going thru. My three daughters all have cell phones. My oldest is almost 15 and I am always having to take her phone away for whatever reason. I have started trying to make them leave the phones on the counter before going to bed. If I don’t she will text half the night away.

  17. Leah

    I say leave it there. What happened to the days when you use a payphone or go to the office to call your parents? I am not that old mid 30’s to remember that. I have an 18 year old daughter who is now on her own. You will get through it just keep on them and keep praying for them and telling them you love them

  18. shelli

    i love you, Y. You are the first blog that i ever read and i still come here daily. i love that we are the same age. i love that we both live in so. ca. i love how real you are and how much you share. i love the way you write. but I LOVE THAT YOU HAVE TEENAGERS. not very many people our age do. certainly not many bloggers that i have found. thank you for the sanity. thank you for sharing.

  19. gaylin

    A high school principal in my province bought a cell phone jammer and installed it in the school. I thought it was a great idea. It was considered unconstitutional and he was reprimanded and it was removed.
    I say put them in all schools.

  20. Jodi

    I feel so much better for clamping down on my daughter, I’m not the only one it seems. She will be 15 in 4 days and is on fire for the Lord. Regardless of how good they are normally, sometimes teenagers just LOSE THEIR DAMN MINDS!! Right now E is way grounded and has to leave her phone on our dresser when she comes home from school. She may take it to school (she doesn’t have texting and wont anytime soon!) Thanks for sharing Y.

  21. helen

    I really didn’t have to deal with anything more than outbursts of temper and door slamming from my boys, my daughter however, OMG she has done it all, I mean ALL. She is now 20 and I can truly say I like her, I couldn’t say that for years, from 11 til she was 19 she drove me to distraction and broke my heart, I loved her fiercely but I really, really didn’t like her at all. To be her friend and confidante now is like the greatest gift.

  22. Kelly

    Ah, the laws of natural consequences always make me smile when they hit my teenager. I’d leave it there a few days, if it were me.
    And yes, it does suck looking UP to them so that you can yell at them.

  23. ella

    Don’t leave the phone at the school but don’t give it back to him either.
    That sounds like something my daughter would have done. She’s 23 now and I survived but mercy I wanted to beat the daylights out of her sometimes.
    My son who is now 16 used to say when he was younger “Don’t worry mom, I won’t be like her when I’m that age.” So far he has kept his word.
    I figure the Lord decided I had enough with my daughter. THat’s not to say he’s perfect because he is not. He has his moments but we all do. 🙂
    But hang in there. He is testing you.

  24. baseballmom

    Oh boy…we have sooo had that argument a lot lately. That and ‘hanging out’. My son knows that if his grades suffer, or homework is missing, he loses his priveleges and his phone, but it comes as a TOTAL surprise if it actually happens. Like we never discussed it before or something. I get the sighs, the eye rolls, the stomping around like a little girl. He is always on the phone with one girl or another (and they are full of THE DRAMA), and gets pissed if I tell him to get off. I, too, take the phone at bedtime to avoid the all-night texting marathon. Where did my baby go?

  25. shaunta

    Oh my goodness. Teenagers. I have a 17-year-old daughter who has this look. She doesn’t talk back. Polite as the Queen of England. But with this look on her face like she’s trying to be polite to the dog shit she stepped in last week. I think a teenage girl must have invented the stank face. Seriously.

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