Joy Unexpected | Marvel at the Dullness!

March 08, 2004

I wasn't being dramatic, we could have all been killed!

Last night my dogs saw a possum trying to run across the fence and went all WWF on the fuckers ass. Willie jumped up in the air, caught the possum in his mouth and brought him down to the ground. Tag team in full affect. Snoop took over, he body slammed the possum and beat the shit out of it. I watched and screamed in horror while my Husband the Hunter went a lookin' for his flashlight and weapon of choice. I finally got Snoop to get off of the possum and brought both of the dogs inside.

My husband went outside to see what he could do about the possum and I got pissed. "Get inside, dumbass, he's just playing possum, HE'S GOING TO ATTACK YOU!!" He ignored me, of course, and stood there looking at the possum with a beer in one hand, flashlight in the other.

Then, I saw this creepy little, hairless thing wondering aimlessly in the grass and screamed "IT HAS BABIES. OH MY GOD. BABY POSSUMS!" Possums are scary enough as it is, baby possums are fucking horrific. There were three of them. That put me into even more of a panic, thinking that possum was going to get up and attack the shit out of Tony because the babies were in danger.

Tony finally came inside and shut the light off, hoping the momma possum would get her babies and get the fuck out of our backyard (ok, I was hoping they'd all die). Well, she left alright, but this morning, Tony went out there to find 3 dead baby possums. Fucking mommapossum left her babies to die. In my backyard! Ugh.

Now, I'm having issues with touching my dogs this morning because they had possum all up in their mouths. They must be disinfected and I am not going to be the one to do it. Oh. Hell. No.

Posted by Y at March 8, 2004 09:32 AM

Comments

Can a possum actually play possum or is it just being a possum?

I'll be quiet now........

Posted by: zenwanderer at March 8, 2004 09:38 AM

Oh, nevermind we could have all been killed, you have to go and point THAT out.

I WAS SCARED, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

Posted by: yvonne at March 8, 2004 09:40 AM

omgomgomgomgomg!
I agree with you. That was AWFUL! I have the freakin' huzz just readin' that.
UGH!

*Leaving to wash off any deadly-possum-goobers that may have jumped off the screen and onto me.

Posted by: Rachael at March 8, 2004 09:45 AM

I agree that is some scary shit. We had a possum here a few months back and that thing was nasty as hell.

Posted by: kat at March 8, 2004 09:56 AM

I don't blame you for not wanting to touch your dogs, god knows what the opposums might have been carrying and with you being pregnat, you have to extra careful....

Ugh, I hate possums too...bleh

Posted by: fran at March 8, 2004 10:00 AM

oh how I love that picture of Willy... pre-scisscor assault.

Posted by: sphinx at March 8, 2004 10:57 AM

Snoop is an asshole. Email me your address. I want to mail Andrew's present off tomorrow.

Posted by: melly at March 8, 2004 12:49 PM

they're right, stay away from the dogs, or at least, call the vet and ask them if you should bathe them or bring them in for a checkup. i'm not saying that the oppossum had rabies but you need to be careful. miss booty caught a squirrel last year and it was horrific. then again, she snaps snakes in two so i think dogs just have a 'way' about them

a gross way.

Posted by: djmofo at March 8, 2004 02:07 PM

Okay, somebody's gotta stick up for the poor oppossums. I have always felt so terribly sad for them. I mean, it's not their fault they're stupid and ugly. They are just trying to survive and protect their babies. :( We had a tiny baby one in our backyard awhile back. It was actually kind of cute. Oaky. I'm through now.

Posted by: christine at March 8, 2004 02:45 PM

I'm with Christine. I don't like opossums either. They are ugly and scary. But I wouldn't want them dead . . . poor babies. =(

Posted by: Tre at March 8, 2004 03:08 PM

Snoop's a killah! :o

We've only had one in our backyard and no babies involved... thankfully. Just watch out for the evil cottontails running about.

Posted by: Brandy at March 8, 2004 05:30 PM

I found a baby possum under my bed once. Scared the fuck out of me.

Posted by: gojou at March 8, 2004 09:43 PM

geez, how awful.....thank god we don't have those critters where i live.

we do, however, have chickens that roam the island freely. needless to say, pretty much on a daily basis one or two of them becomes roadkill....

me....i hit the brakes and let them cross.

Posted by: susan at March 8, 2004 10:30 PM

I don't believe I have ever seen an opossum.

Australian possums have claws and teeth and make a hell of a noise when they get on your roof. But they're quite small and furry and cute and don't have rabies.

Posted by: Mellissa at March 8, 2004 11:00 PM