your beautiful.

I remember when I was in grade 8 and my doctor told me I was at a good weight for my bone structure etc-- I didn't believe her, because I weighed 170 lbs.
Now, 80 pounds later, I look at pictures of myself back then and think "My God, I was SKINNY!".

It's all about perspective, isn't it?

I must say, though: you're taking action. You're working at it. You're going to lose this weight. That's a great thing-- so don't be down on yourself! Yes, right now you might feel disgusted by how you look (I certainly know how that feels and am not telling you not to feel that way... sometimes you feel that way and that's that) ... but after some hard work, you'll start looking/feeling better. And this time, when you're 125 lbs (or whatever your goal weight is) you'll know that you aren't fat.

You know, it sounds like so much BS, but I've been reading your blog for months now and you're a wonderful caring person. Who gives a rip what you look like? Does your husband complain? Weight Watchers is great and if it works for you and helps your self-image, so much the better, but if you died tomorrow would people look back and remember how fat you were? I doubt it. I think you're a terrific person.

I know, I can look at pictures of myself from the past five years and literally see myself getting fatter and fatter. What's funny is that my starting weight a few times that I've dieted in the past in now actually my goal weight. I keep taking before pictures and don't have any afters to compare them with. I bet the people at the photo lab think I'm in a contest to get fatter. Just remember that you didn't get fat overnight and you won't lose it overnight either. Weight watchers works for a lot of people. Look at their success stories online when you need some motivation. If they did it, you can too. You are an extremely brave woman for putting your pics on your blog and I admire you for it. Accountability is what it's all about - to us, yourself, God, and your kids.

mindi, I appreciate that, and I'm working on that, I am. I've always had issues with my body, with my looks and I am afraid I always will, but I'm working on my worth as a person NOT based on how much I weigh.

That said, I can't STAND looking and feeling this way and I must lose it.

Yvonne, believe me... you will be so glad that you took that picture later down the road once you've lost the weight. Print out that picture and put it on the refrigerator. It worked wonders for me :) You can do it, girl! And for the record, you still look beeyootiful!

I don't judge people by their looks, etc. I know I'm not perfect. I walk funny, people stare at me, its not fun but I have learned to live with it. Though I've never met you, I can tell you're a very determined and strong person. Keep at it. That's what I like about you.

And if you believe in yourself that you can lose this weight, then it will happen. Just give yourself time to do so. It will happen, I'm sure. I support you either way!

I completely know how you feel, hon...totally.... I've been working on the whole weight loss thing myself....and it's something I've struggled with for my entire adult life.

That anger at yourself...that disgust....I say use it as your energy for change! And always remember that you're a good person no matter WHAT you weigh....you're a good wife and a good mother... that matters more than what some scale reads....

*hugs*

I still think you look beautiful and that's not just the cough medicine talking.

You go, girl! I am with you every step. I want to drop at least 60 more pounds. It has taken me 6 months to lose the first 20, but the next 60 should be a lot easier now that I know what I am doing.

I have started using Advocare. Hopefully, that will push things along.

I know just how you feel. I think I need to do the same. Especially so my diet/exercise efforts get kicked into gear. Best of luck. I'm glad I found your site!

awwwwwww girl...
Don't feel bad for posting your pictures.
It was something u felt you had to do so if anybody sends you any mean or degrading emails, u send them to me and I'll punch em' in the EYE!
LOL
In all seriousness...from what I have read, u just had a baby recently. so... give yourself some slack.
YOu can lose weight...
it'll just be hard work.
Hang in there!

*snaps* awwww, yeah. work it, child.

heh. Actually, that took some balls, dude. I have faith in you.

You ARE beautiful, no matter what weight you are. Here is the thing - if you're healthy, then be whatever weight you like. As long as you're healthy. If losing weight is what makes you feel good, then by all means - but do it while you're getting yourself healthy, not while you're trying to lose weight. And also, you don't have to listen to me. But I feel the need to share this, since it is so my own trial as well.

SO. I am reading this book right now, and I HAVE to recommend it because it is the single most empowering book I have ever read about body acceptance, however you are. I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone, anywhere.

Are you ready? It's called "Fat! So?"

I'm not lying, this is the name of the book. And it's amazing. I checked it out from the library and I am going to buy it becuause I know I am going to read it over and over again. If you are a woman anywhere who has any body issues, I highly recommend reading it. I promise you won't be sorry, it is SO worth it. And it's not a long book, either.

I am not being paid to promote it, either.

i'm working on taking off the 10 pounds i put back on after losing 20 on weight watchers, so you're inspiring me to get going at it! i'll be struggling right along with ya.

you rock

you're awesome! that's all there is to say. and you'll do it and end up loving what you see in the mirror again sooner than you'd think today ;o)

I know you can do it Yvonne.

:)

I feel ya. I'm pretty much in the same boat. When I got married I was in a size 12 (which, for me, is small since I passed that size in about the 7th grade). Then about a year later I was back up to a 16. Then I had a baby. Hello size 20. And I'm still there...with the baby about to turn 2. I have no where near your determination, hell I'm not even trying to do anything about it. So, I have much faith that you'll lose the weight!

You can do it Yvonne, it's not going to happen over night, but one day you will be proud to post your picture, and I am proud that you are doing this for yourself. I'll always be your cheerleader no matter how fat your ass is ;)

ok girl, I'm going to give it to you straight up. I did say, "Omigod" when I saw the final picture. In a way that broke my heart because I so understand how you are feeling. I've come to a place where I *hate* to have my picture taken because I hate so much where I am today.

You and I, we both need to dig deep and figure out how we got here (baby aside). What's going on with us that we've turned to food (drink) for comfort?

Maybe you and I need to start up some weight loss challenge. Sort of like the Lakers and the Spurs! :-P

Dude you have a nice rack.

Kick WW's ass and make your goal weight's reward, a trip to Florida to see ME!. Eeee!

I can totally relate about the weight.. I have been trying to get down to a "healthy" weight since I can remember, so I know how tough the road can be.

I admire you for how you're ready to "take the bull by the horns" and do what you need to do to make yourself feel good about you. I have to say that I am so thankful that I found your blog because you have definitely inspired me to once again tackle my weight issues and try and stay on the weight loss train this time.. At this point, I'm too much of a fraidy cat to take before pictures.

As I have heard it many times, "the weight although easy to put on, isn't going to come off overnght" Not an easy concept to grasp when we want instant results, but with strength, none my own, I know that I will say the end of this long road, and so will you!!! You are not only beautiful but strong to boot!!! You go girl!!!!

That was brave and courageous and I applaud you. You do what is going to make you feel good and know that we are all behind you 100%. Just stop hating yourself please. You're a good woman, a good wife and a great mom and self loathing is not a trait you want to hand down.

I admire you. I think you are a strong, beautiful person and a wonderful mother. You know what you what to do for yourself and that is what matters. Losing weight is a tough uphill battle, but you will get there because you WANT to, and the victory will be sweet!! I am currently a weight watchers member also, so if you need a buddy to help keep you accountable feel free to email me. I know if would help me out.

Next pic, can we see you from behind?

Just kiddin'. If you lose the weight that you gained to have a healthy baby girl, you'll loook marrrveelous.

I think you're in the position of a great majority of women out there. Yes, you just had a baby and the weight doesn't just peel off. I remember after having my daughter (ugh almost 6 years ago) that people told me the weight would just melt off because I was breastfeeding ... instead I gained 50 extra pounds. Getting pregnant again put a hold on losing the weight ... and now we're trying to get pregnant again so I just going to throw in the towel until I'm done with this babymakin' stuff.

I have a different problem in that I picture myself skinnier in my head than I really am ... so when I see a picture of myself I totally freak out. I admire your strength and kick butt attitude - it will definately help keep you motivated to have those pictures around. You are a wonderful and beautiful person .. hopefully someday you will see that fat or not for yourself.

Like I said, I'll do anything to support you and help you get where you need to be in order to be happy with yourself. Partly because I want that for you and partly because I want that for us. I want us to go out! To have fun and spend time together because we only get to a handful of times a year.

I think I'm totally ugly. So maybe we should set up some stands on a corner (lemonade style) and take a poll from people passing by.

I am about 50 lbs overweight and a 2 time single mother....wit a nice rack too. so don't trip you ARE pretty, and at least you're married....count your blessings...not to sound sanctimonius but girl you got it goin on right now so stop kicking yourself in the ass....big as you may think it is...for real if i could find someone to spend my life wit that would give me another baby my fat ass would be at the end of my list of things to worry about...so lighten up baby girl...you are 2 hard on yourself.

You got guts, girl, and that's important. I think you've got what it takes to take care of yourself. You're definitely on the right track!

Heh... I so understand this. I'm about 30lbs heavier than my first "before" picture ;-) However, all is on the mend now: I've decided to stop stressing about what I was eating, and just *move* more. It's working... I still have about 60lbs to go... wanna race? :-p

Hey, lady...
Try not to be too hard on yourself. Remember that it took 2 years to put the weight on; it's not going to come off overnight. Just take it one day at a time, doing the best you can each day. I know you can do it!
Best to you and your adorable baby..

Hi! I just started reading your blog and I love it! I love YOU and I don't know you from Adam, but I read your blog everyday! I got a link from another blog that I read! I just got into the whole blog trend and am also a mommy.
Anyway, I was just reading your latest post and I just wanted to say that I had a friend that weighed somewhere around 380 pounds! She worked very hard at losing weight, and the last time I saw her, she had lost 100 pounds. The thing is, obesity ran in her family and she had been overweight (i hate the word fat) her whole life! You have not! I think that the weight you gained should be very easy to shed off! When I had my baby, I would strap her in her stroller and walk around my town with a friend of mine, who had also just had a baby, for about 3 hours and I did that everyday! I lost my baby weight before I knew it! I'm sure you know that it isn't impossible, but I'm sure that knowledge is lost somewhere under the depression! I know that you don't know me, but I just want to tell you that it's not impossible and you seem like a pretty strong woman and I think you can do it! It'll take time, but it is possible!
Good luck and check out MY site if you have the time!

I know you can do anything you put your mind to. Don't get discouraged; we're all rooting for you! I know that once you get into a good routine and you stop selling yourself short, this will be one more "impossible" thing you overcame.

Hold your head high, strut your stuff, and know that we all love you-- inside and out.

Yvonne, lets forget the fact that you just had a baby. Sweetie give yourself some time. You have to like the person you are on the inside first (and believe me you are the beautiful Latina chick) and the rest will fall into place. The people who matter most see the beauty on the inside. Gen always tells me he only sees the real me, the package is just a package. I know its easier said than done, but I know you have a wonderful husband that could prolly care less about the package.

Yvonne -
You're going to do just fine. Can I just say how pretty I think you are??! And seriously - you have an ass I would kill for.
I'm losing weight right now, myself. It's no fun, and if you want to talk FOOD issues, and BODY IMAGE issues, I'm the poster girl. Drop me a line if you want to chat about stuff, okay??

Yvonne, you are beautiful at any size. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Wow. You are brave and clearly strong. You will do this. I know you are tired, but try get out every day and walk. It really helped me to power walk while pushing a stroller. Now I am moving on to blading and swimming (though I loathe to put on a suit -yuck). Exercise not only helped me to lose a lot of the baby pounds this spring, but helps to make me a saner person. I do a ton of my thinking then and it also helps to work out stress for me.

I have not worked out, even walked, for the last three weeks because Gabo has been teething and then both boys were sick so I am WACKO. Must get out of the house tomorrow.

i think your beautiful in all pictures:) its not wat outside but wats inside! i dont think your fat at all:) huggies!! i know wat your going through hun!1 but GOOD LUCK YOU CAN DO IT!!

I think you are beautiful. When I read your posts, and see the pictures of yourself and your family, I can't help but think "She's so beautiful, every part of her".
But I know about weight, so I am rooting for you to get to your ideal weight. But honey, you are an ideal woman -- don't forget that.

Mrs. G told me size doesn't matter, so why should yours? Rowr!!!!! You are a hottie!

you'll do it again, yvonne. i have faith in you.

you're still smaller than i am or my girlfriend is. your boobs are bigger than your tummy which is always good. you say you weigh 226? well i weigh almost 270 now, and i would love it if i were bck at my 224 of last summer. it's all relative dude. there will always be someone fatter than you and someone skinnier than you.

Don't ever condemn yourself. The past couple years, I've put on about 50 pounds and I'm not even sure when it happened, I just noticed one day. Sure I'm working on getting smaller again, it just isn't going well. I'm 39 years old and my self-esteem isn't the best, but sometimes we have to accept ourselves. You are beautiful, or at least you would be if you didn't have that big black X on your face.

I've probably been reading your blog for 3 years on and off now. I just stopped by recently to see if you'd had your little girl. This post made me cry because I know how you feel. I don't ever take pics of anything but my face anymore, because hey, that's still cute. I don't look in mirrors. If I happen to catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or a window, I think "Uggh, who's that fat fuck?"

I don't go out like I used to because I am afraid everyone will be like "Eww, I'm gonna catch the fat." I broke up with someone because I hate how I look and thought he was deranged for loving me. Someone new likes me and I can't see why or how.

It's a fucked up thing we women do to ourselves. You probably thought you were big in the first picture at the time, and you're perfect.

Anyway, if you ever need to commiserate with a fatty in SF, send me an e-mail. I'm 32 as well and I feel like my life is going to slip through my fingers if I don't do something about my weight soon. Good luck to you.