My husband never ceases to amaze me with his total lack of charm.
The man is obsessed with my ass. Always has been. And I hate to say it? But the bigger, the better. He likes his wimmins big. (And I'm pretty sure it's because he likes that a "totally out there" ass is multifunctional> Looks good, feels good and it holds your beverages. What more could a man want in an ass?) Well, tonight the man took it to a new level, a level I had hoped he'd never take it to, because tonight, he said the following.
"Mmmm, mama, I just LOVE your buttocks. May I touch your nice, round buttocks?"
No. No you may NOT touch my buttocks. And as an added bonus? You may NEVER utter the word "buttocks" again. EVER. At least not while referring to MY buttocks because, seriously? WHO IN THE HELL USES THE TERM "BUTTOCKS" WHEN TRYING TO GET A PIECE OF BUTTOCK?
Apparently the man I am married to. The man whom I've been freely giving The 'Tock to for FOURTEEN YEARS.
That's who.
Hey, now THAT'S a husband who is great for self-esteem!