***
I was up most of the night thinking about all sorts of things. Thinking about how I've been feeling, about how fast my children are growing, about how when I was about 6 I was playing a game and put a "mask" on my face that I found in the garage and how when my mom saw me, she FREAKED OUT and screamed at me to take it off and how later on that day I heard her telling her friend that I had my dad's "cup" on my face. (Ew, huh? But at the time I was all "What's a cup? And why is it a BAD thing that I had in my face?") And then I thought of something that makes me laugh so hard. When my brother was little, like, really little, he told my mom he had a joke.
"What did the midget say to the pretty lady?"
"What?"
"Gee, your hair smells terrific." HAHAHHAHAHA
My mom and dad freaked out, grabbed him by the arm, and were all "BOY! That's NOT funny!" and he was all "WHAT? get it?! He's a midget and he can't smell her hair because HE'S WAY TOO SHORT!" Well, DUH, That's exactly what I thought, because, hello? My parents didn't teach us about anything to do with the vaginal/groin area because my parents were PSYCHOS. They didn't think to themselves "OHhhhh, he doesn't mean the midget can smell her pubes because WE HAVE NEVER TOLD HIM PUBES EXIST so, he totally doesn't get it and therefore, we shouldn't get mad, we should just laugh and then tell him not to tell the joke to anyone else because it's not ok to 'laugh at midgets'".
And then I thought, "See, I'm going to be ok, because I can still laugh and enjoy life, I just need to do a little soul searching and a lot of "dumping of the emotions" on a professional "dump your emotions on me so I can help you figure your life out'er".
I love it when "me thinking" ends with tears... of laughter.
I have those kind of memories too...ones where my parents freaked out and I was all "What's a douche and why is it a BAD thing that I think it's bubble bath?". I feel like I've been blessed when I'm able to recognize where my parents made mistakes and then figure out a better way to handle those kind of situations. You will be okay, and it's progress when you realize it.