I have a very sick relationship with food. EXTREMELY SICK. I've used food like a best friend, and in the process, I've made it my worst enemy.
Today Ben and Jerry's had been taunting me. Had I listened to Dr.Phil, that junk wouldn't even be in my freezer, but it was. I've been fighting with it all damn day. I tried will power, I tried sniffing it, hoping just the smell would be enough to satisfy the craving, I tried everything I could possibly think of to make me stop wanting it. I even did what Dr.Phil told me to do and went and took a damn shower, because Dr.Phil said after my shower, I'd forget about the ice cream and lose the craving.
Dr.Phil lied. I got out of the shower and went straight to the freezer. I got a spoon, I started eating. BUT THEN I GOT PISSED AT THE DAMN ICECREAM.
"WHY AM I LETTING YOU, OH SMALL CARTON OF FAT AND LUMPS, CONTROL ME?"
Then, I did the unthinkable. And I took photographic evidence of me doing the unthinkable.
Now you see it...
NOW YOU FUCKING DON'T.
That's right, I washed that shit down the drain and ate a carrot instead.
I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!







Holy crap, Y!
You need a disclaimer or something. That just ain't right. Now I'm gonna have to eat TWO pints tonite, just to compensate.
(of course, I'm keeeding. Way to go, I wish I had 1/10 of that kind of willpower. You're talking BJ here!!!!)