My mother used a belt. One of those with the name burned into it, with the leather "stitching" on it. And she'd hold my left arm with her left hand and I'd run in a circle around her while she was swinging that big belt. Looking back, it was funny, but damn did it hurt at the time.

And I wasn't abused by the belt. I only probably got that two or three times in my life. And I probably deserved that...or worse. I was really good and well behaved most of the time, but when I was bad, boy did I make up for missed time.

My dad had a board like that but it had the outline of a hand on it and it said, "Dad's Helping Hand". He also had one of those leather belts with four rows of holes all the way down, and it would whistle when he used it.

He had to retire the board, though, when I was about twelve and my cola broke it in half. One of the proudest days of my life, that was.

Ouch! I remember my dad used to make us go outside and cut our own 'switches' from the branches of the trees outside of our house. "Go outside and get me a switch." Those are words to put the fear of God into you!

in our house, we knew we were in trouble when my mom would turn to ME and yell "GO GET THE BELT". why i always had to go get the belt, i don't know. and the kicker? being the only girl in the family besides my mom, i didn't have any belts. so i always had to go look through my dad's or brothers' drawers while my mom was yelling "HURRY UP". and i'd come back crying saying i couldn't find one. and she'd tell me i better find one or i was next. i never got the belt because i rarely got in trouble. the worst i ever got was a backhand. but i can't tell you how many wooden spoons my mom broke over my brothers ass. and he was usually laughing while she did it just to piss her off. at the time i thought it was horrible, but looking back it's a wonder my mom retained what little sanity she still has.

*LMAO* omg. I can so relate. My mom still has our 'board' that she used on us - and every once in a while she points it out to the grandkids. It's a thin strong board that says across it "For the cute little deer with the bear behind" and yes - it's spelled that way and even has a picture of a deer and a bear on it. *L* The handle has printed across it "grip here firmly in case of frustration."

I got bruised fingers, for pulling the hand across the 'cola' bit. *L* She'd give me fair warning, but I'd dance around and finally she'd swat and I'd scream bloody murder. I always used to pray that she'd say "wait till your father gets home!" because he never could stand to see us girls cry and would barely tap us while we put up quite the performance. Mom was wise to such things though, and really let us have it when we deserved it. *Chuckles*

My mom had a wooden salad spoon. She called it the "black spoon." Only, she never used it. Except once. On me. I had the nerve to say the word "damn" in front of her when I was 10 and she grabbed the spoon, threw me over her knee...and with the first swack it broke. My poor mom. It didn't even hurt me. The spoon, after so many years of sitting unused, must have dried out. But, she was hysterical with grief over breaking this big spoon over my "cola."

Shaunta

In my house you knew you were in trouble when my father started unbuckling his belt. LOL.

I dont think I ever actually got hit with it but I know my mom's wooden spoon was a killa! ROTFL.

And to think if we so much as look crosseyed at our kids today a DCF referral could be made.

I don't see it as abusive at all, so long as you don't see it as abusive. It sounds like he only did it to discipline, and took no pleasure in it. He also tried to hit only the part that's hardest to damage (the "cola"), and got upset when he hit the more fragile parts.

He sounds very loving, and not very abusive at all.

But yeah, I can see how some people would see it that way. Personally, I think I should have had my ass spanked black and blue when I was a kid. :p Man, I was SO out of line.

yeah, at THAT point, it wasn't abusive. However, when they got involved with a "cult like" minister, they became what I believe to be abusive, but more mentally... I'll save that for another day though, or not, because my dad already asked me to forgive him because he KNOWS now that he was wrong.

The spankings though? HILARIOUS.

I'm laughing along with you, Y. We had a thick wooden paddle that said, "Board of Education" and my sister always got it the best, err... worst.

I didn't view it as abusive either. My point was that TODAY we can't look crosseyed at our children that they aren't screaming abuse. I personally got the belt AND the board.

Lmao, Seems like alot of us got the belt treatment and the spoon treatment.
Only I was the youngest and my mom always "whipped" in order of age, oldest first.
I ALWAYS claimed to have to pee right before she got to me, she would yell at me to go pee and make it quick. I would always go in the bathroom and sit on the side of the tub and try to think of some way out of it, I never peed..............
Until I bent over the bed that is and got the first whack and then the flood began.
My mom hated to "whip" me because she knew she'd have to change the sheets. Lol
I got out of many whippings cause she didn't want me to piss on her. LMAO

My dad would unscrew the bottom part of a crutch, you know, where you can adjust it for height, with the rubber stopper on the end and use that.

Needless to say, we didn't talk for years, but are OK now.

My crazy Korean mom used an orange Rubbermaid icecream spoon thingy. And Hangers. And shoes. Lots of shoes. My mom used the same "spare the rod" shit. She should've beat me with a Bible.

Holy shit, we should all start a club based solely on our whipping stories.

As sick as it sounds, I've laughed my ass off at these comments. (No pun intended.)

I'm glad I can laugh now because, for years, I couldn't. But sheesh - "dad's helping hand"? "board of education"? "black spoon"?

Did all of our parents take the same "mommy dearest" class or something?!?

Ok, good, I'm not the only one laughing here.

especially at the mom in grief over breaking her big spoon on her childs cola

Wooden spoons, belts, sticks...our kids have no idea how easy they have it. My dad stopped beating me when I got old enough to act bored. Like, *yawn* that's all you got? I guess it wasn't fun for him without any reaction.

I can't believe how many of you were routinely hit as children. I don’t think any of my friends were in families that used physical violence as punishment.

The year after my parents split up, I was slapped once in the face by my mother when I was in seventh grade, I was already an athlete and very strong. I was maybe an inch shorter than I am now. I was so shocked and stunned that I slapped her back so hard and so fast with all of my might that it never happened again.

But that was it.

I am curious what the common factors are among parents who habitually use hitting as a method of control or punishment?

Mieke,

I am sure it differs somewhat. My parents were much like Y's sound ~ religious to a fault. I can remember many times my parents crying after they hit us. My mom used to tell us how much it hurt her to have to spank us, but that is what THE LORD told her to do. It worked with me, cuz I was scared to death to step out of line. My brother and sister just rebelled against it...

k

If we were REALLY, REALLY bad, our nanny would spank us, but this hardly ever happened. Most of the time, we'd have to go sit in our rooms, which was WAY worse than a spanking. I hated sitting around waiting to go back to playing. I gladly would have taken a swat in the ass instead.

I had to come out of lurkville to say these stories made me laugh and got me to remember back when my mother would take off her slipper, throw it at whoever committed the crime and make my sisters or me go get it and THEN hitting us on our cola with it. Like the other parents, she would feel bad and cry and tell us how bad she felt. I think moms way of parenting was how she grew up in the era where it was an accepted thing to hit your kids. I dont think any less of her either. In fact, my fave story was when my sister had done something bad, my mom threw the slipper at her, and my sister told her to get off her butt and get it herself and ran, my mom chasing after her, slipper in hand, she ended up stopping and laughing her butt off at how ridiculous it was. I personally dont think it was abuse, its not like she beat us with the slipper everyday of our lives, it happened to me only 2 or 3 times, and the last time was when i was 13 and told to her to shut the hell up, kinda deserving, no?

Have you ever seen this great tool? http://stoptherod.net/

It's hard to believe this really exists.

I never understand the religious fanatics that cherry-pick from the Old and New Test. All religions do it, but it's just so ridiculous what is chosen as "God's Law" and what is disregarded.

One of my favorites, is that it says not to mix wool with cotton. (Lev. 19:19)

Religion can make people do crazy things.

Wow...glad I'm not the only one. I got whooped with a huge yellow Tupperware salad spoon. I guess that would be why I don't buy any Tupperware or let it come into my house.

As one of nine kids spankings were the everyday norm at our house. My Dad always used his hand but he was a logger and he was strong! He never stopped to figure out who was the culprit. If there was an arguement he'd just line us all up and we'd scream an dry while we waited our turn. We never fought back or ran away . Never! We were too scared.

My mom used whatever she sould find to spank with. She once broke the hairbrush over my cola.

I had my last whipping at 17 years old!!!! I would say about half the whippin's us kids got were definitely the abusive kind! Definitely. We were whipped out of anger most of the time and whipped and whipped and whipped once the spanking began. If we fell off my Dads knees we were picked up and whipped harder yet! There was nothing funny about our whippings!

I think one of the reasons many of us laugh over what was objectively abusive spanks, is because the big picture message from our parents was that they DID love us and WERE doing the best they could. One of the hardest things for me to admit to myself (which is why this is anon) is that my mother really did spank me and yell at me in an abusive way. And I love her and know she loves me dearly. She's also one of my biggest supporters in NOT spanking my own kids.