I'll admit to being extremely over protective when it comes to my boys. I'm terrified of them getting hurt. When I watch them ride their rollerblades, I become consumed with thoughts like "Oh my GOD, they could fall, break their neck and become paralyzed!" So, I'll shout out to them things like "Slow down!" "Not so fast!"
"WHY DON'T YOU COME INSIDE AND WE'LL BAKE COOKIES INSTEAD!?"
I usually get a response that goes a little something like this...
"You always ruin our fun! Why don't you just go back inside and let us ENJOY OUR LIVES?"
And that's exactly what I have to do. I have to go inside and not watch them play, or my urge to save them from losing an eye or their ability to walk will take over and I'll "ruin their lives."
Over the years, I've learned to control my overprotectiveness on the outside by not freaking the hell out when I DO watch them play. And? I don't say no when they ask to go places like skateparks or BMX racing tracks. Even though, on the inside, I am throwing up, wondering how I'll care for them when they're in their wheelchairs. (And I'm not exaggerating) I realise that I can't prohibit them from enjoying their childhood because of my fears. That said, I still believe it is my job to protect them from harm, to keep them safe, so there are times I will forbid them from doing things, even if every other kid in the 'hood are doing them.
There have been many times where my husband will say things to me like "Think about what YOU did as a kid and you lived, RIGHT?!"
So true. I think of the things that I did as a child and yes, I survived, BUT... it IS a miracle that I still have legs that work.
When I was in Junior High, I was totally obsessed with tanning. I wanted the best tan the sun could offer, so I'd search endlessly for the perfect place to bake my skin. I decided that perfect place was THE ROOF OF OUR HOUSE. I'd grab a towel, my pink boom box, I'd climb on the side fence, hop up on the roof, climb to the very top and park my ass at the very top, facing my backyard.
I think about that now and it makes me sick to my stomach. I could have fallen off and DIED! And, oh my God, if I ever found MY kids on OUR roof? I'd call 911 to come rescue them because I sure as hell wouldn't let them climb down once I saw them up there.
Climbing on the roof was mild compared to the things me and my siblings did when we were young. Things that could have gotten us killed, things like trying to put out a match in a motor home with A CAN OF LYSOL (Can you say 'how long does it take for eyebrows to grow back in?'), driving my parents car when I was 14, when I had no clue HOW to drive. Things like jumping out of trees, running on the concrete around my grandmas pool to get enough speed to do flips into her pool without a diving board, playing "operation" with real knifes and getting (literally) cut open in the gut, riding bikes at 523532 miles per hour in the middle of the street with NO HELMET, jumping the train tracks trying to "beat the train", etc....
So why am I so paranoid about my kids? Why can't I ease up a bit? Why do I panic when I watch them jump their bike off of a ramp? Why do I secretly wish they could wear mouthpieces, knee/elbow pads and helmets at their basketball games? Don't get me wrong, I don't actually enforce my overprotectiveness in such an overbearing manner, I try to keep it inside so as not to raise a couple of wusses, but I wish that I could relax a bit and not worry so much about them becoming quadriplegic.
Is that actually possible? Are there mothers out there who watch their kid racing down the street on their roller blades at 50mph and actually enjoy it and cheer them on? Are their mothers who don't think "Oh my God, those are permenant teeth, if he falls and knocks them out WHAT WILL I DO?" Do these mothers exist and if so, what in the hell is your secret? How do you do that? Please, enlighten me.
Ummmm - no way. I cringe and hide my eyes every time. And to make it even worse, my son it a total clutz. He walks into walls, falls down stairs, trips over the air. I have to bite my lip every time he grabs his skateboard, rollerblades or bike. My hubs keeps saying boys will be boys. I keep saying thank God for insurance....