I can't figure out which is more painful.
My left nipple or the fact that Gabby finally figured out how to pull herself up and stand in her crib.
While the nipple hurts pretty freaking bad, the fact that Gabby can now STAND UP IN HER CRIB hurts a little more, I think.
Why does your nipple hurt? You ask.
Oh, well, because I had to STICK A NEEDLE IN IT to unclog a milk ducts. And after I STUCK A NEEDLE IN IT, I had to take a hot shower and squeeze that nipple really hard to make sure that sticking a needle in it had unclogged the duct.
Oh mama.
Hurt.
Bad.
After hearing that, you're probably all "Well of course that's more painful than Gabby standing up in her crib!"
Physically, yes, it is.
But do you know how much it sucks that instead of taking a nap, she now stands up and screams "HAAAAAAAYYYYY MAMAMAMA HAAAAAYYYYY!" And she laughs this totally fake laugh as if she's saying "HAHAHHA I CAN STAND! AND I CAN SEE YOU WHEN YOU WALK BY! AND YOU CAN NOT MAKE ME LAY DOWN! FOR HAHAHHAHA I CAN STAND!"
It's only a matter of time before she figures out how to climb out of that crib, just like her big brothers did.
That, people, is painful to my heart. And to my "free time".
You know what else is painful?
Having to stare at a half tray of brownies everytime I enter the kitchen. I can't touch them, if I do, I'll not be able to stop. My ass knows this and left a message for me.
So far, it's working. I think it has something to do with the falling poop, I'm not sure. But MAN does it's killing me to not eat one. But let's focus on the positive... at least I don't have to stick a needle in my ass to unclog it.
(p.s. there's a very good chance that this post makes NO SENSE AT ALL, but, because I'm too busy crying about a)my nipple pain b) Gabby refusing to LAY HER ASS DOWN AND SLEEP c)brownies I have no desire to go back and edit it.)
(p.s.s I have a confession. That drawing? Of the butt? That was my "claim to fame" in elementary school. I got the awesome idea to convert/pervert the letter "W" into a butt with legs and poop falling out! IT WAS A HIT! And to this day, I think it's the funniest thing I've ever invented.)
Soak the brownies. DO IT!!! It's the only thing that will stop their incessant whispering for you to eat their scrumptious brown bliss.
Sorry about your nipple. I am sure you sterilized the needle before you poked it into your breast -right? They don't call me Safety Pup for nothin'. I am the queen of mastitis so if you have any questions give me a call.
XOXOX