Joy Unexpected | Does This Blog Make My Little Donkey Look Big?

July 18, 2005

SHOW OFF

When I think back to the day I lost my virginity to Tony, I don't think of it too fondly. Infact? I still get a little pissed off.

Here I was, this sweet little virgin, daughter of a pastor, completely, totally innocent. One would ASSUME Tony would have been like Usher and taken it nice and slow.

HA! HA! HA!

Let me give you the "Short Version."

HIM:

"Bend over!"

"Sit on it!"

"Put it here!"

"Stick it there!"

"Faster!"

ME:

"Ok! Whatever you say! Because I love you! Am I doing it RIGHT?"

But the next day, I was SO MAD.

I mean, did he have to rub it in my face (ha!ha!ha!) that HE KNEW HOW TO HAVE SEX BEFORE I DID?

I wanted to tell him to take his "tubesteak" and shove it (again, ha! ha! ha!)

But, you know how it is when a girl loves a guy and just had sex with him for the first time. You can't stay mad because "HELLO! GIVE IT TO ME AGAIN, BIG BOY!"

Ah, young love. Young virginic love.

Posted by Y at July 18, 2005 02:33 PM

Comments

At least you were sober your first time, right?

My first time was...well, less than memorable!!

Posted by: Jennifer at July 18, 2005 03:14 PM

Heh. The first time is always funny later.

-H

Posted by: hed at July 18, 2005 03:20 PM

i think you should have a poll to see if there's any other 30 year old virgins in america. *lowers head*

Posted by: jenny at July 18, 2005 03:51 PM

My first time was funny as well. He chased after me and chased after me and after a year I finally decided well if I was gonna give it up then I might as well give it up to someone in which I really loved. I was really not amused. It just felt awkward.

But now I have me a younger man, whom I love, and well lets just say its the best I ever had. Losing your virginity stories are hilarious. LOL.

Posted by: Kristina at July 18, 2005 04:08 PM

Reading that I thought back to when I lost my virginity to my husband while we were dating and I just have to laugh. I was 17, he was 18, and his idea of getting me ready was grinding on me while laying on the floor in his room, in his mom's house, LOL. His words of love after it was over..."Wow, you bled like a stuck pig". Needless to say, it wasn't exactly how I pictured losing my virginity, especially since I was still naive and thought I was going to bleed to death!

Posted by: Jen at July 18, 2005 07:16 PM

remember, at least you didn't throw up.

Posted by: Sarcastic Journalist at July 18, 2005 08:00 PM

zayre's parking lot here. now that is something to be proud of!

Posted by: Mollie at July 18, 2005 09:12 PM

*peeing pants from laughing* -- write a book already! ;o)

Posted by: kim at July 19, 2005 02:00 AM

While I wasn't a virgin when I first had sex with my husband, I might as well have been. It was TOTALLY different with him than the other person. Of course, if you asked him I still act like a virgin, and we've been married almost 5 years. hehe I'm THAT lazy.

Posted by: NinaKaye at July 19, 2005 06:16 PM

Tee hee!! What kind of PK were you, if you were still a virgin?! I thought it was in the PK rules that you have sex as soon as possible, with your father's worst nightmare!
Obviously I did it wrong.

Posted by: Tammy/averagemom at July 19, 2005 06:39 PM

No wonder they blocked your site from my office.

*tsk tsk* all this talk of deflowering.

Email me your IP address, so maybe I can get in through the back door. You know... anally.

I've missed your wit woman!

Posted by: debutaunt at July 19, 2005 09:32 PM