I can not remember a day in which the retrival of the mail has brought me as much happiness and joy and THANKS TO THE LORD as it has today. (Am I being sarcastic? Am I being sincere? May I give you a lap dance for 20 dollah?)
For today, I recieved an invitation to a Party Lite party and my electric bill!
Let's start with the Party Lite invite, shall we? I'll admit, I was extremely excited and felt a little tingle between my legs when I saw the little blue sticker with the words "you're invited to a girls night out" on the envelope.
"A girls night out! I bet there will be wine! And games! I'm SO there, man!"
I got a little ahead of myself, because I open it up and it's all "Come to my candle party!"
Translation: "Come waste gas driving to my house up the hill so you can waste more money on candles so I can earn FREE shit. Try not to hold the fact that I didn't go to your sons birthday party, nor did I go to Gabby's birthday party, nor did I even CALL YOU to acknowledge that I got the invitations against me because, well, I'm giving you the chance to buy shit and to help me earn free shit and, like, OMG, WE'RE TOTALLY GOING TO PLAY PARTYLITE FAMILY FEUD!"
Yeah, like Party Lite Family freaking Feud makes the fact that I haven't heard a word from you in over 8 months TOTALLY OK!
Whatever.
Now, let's move on to the electric bill.
I knew it was going to be a lot. It's been a hot month, a very hot month and our air conditioning unit, (or, should I say our dickhead landlord's unit, (ha!ha!) because we are The Poor People Who Rent?) is an ancient piece of shit and completely inefficient. Last months bill was $88, so I thought, maybe, MAYBE $160. Um, no. More like TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE DOLLARS.
Just for the electricity! That doesn't count gas! And water! And trash! OR GROCERIES.
Had I recieved this bill yesterday? I never would have bought the Todd Glass tickets. Now I'm feeling all kinds of guilty and like I'm going to PUKE because those tickets are non refundable and OH MY GOD WE HAVE A 2 DRINK MINIMUM. How irresponsible of me to go out when I have a $223.98 electric bill to pay.
I'm going to throw up. I really am.
But do you know what I am definitely not going to do?
Join my "friend" for a game of Party Lite Family Feud.
Unless... UNLESS there are cash prizes, because if there are, I'll be there and I'll be knocking bitches OUT to win.







Oh god I so relate. I hate my electric bill right now. It's sitting at 300+ dollars. Our big unit in our house that we just had built two years ago has already blown. I have made several complaints to the BBB about the company that installed it. They were spose to have come out and fixed it, hah, that was fucking 8 months ago. Bastards. So I had to buy four window units and now my house looks all ghetto and that ain't no shit. But my fucking bill is 300+. Sorry had to rant.