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September 12, 2005
Take ONE guess who is the "mature" one in our relationship.

Oh My God.

Tony's in the kitchen telling the boys what a vasectomy is.

I can't stand it.

OMG. HE SAID "CUT INTO MY BALLS."

Followed by "HA! HA! HAA!"

He said "there's a tube." "Seed" "Mom's egg".

Now it's "GROSS."

I'm dying here, people. DYING.

"So, you're gonna be sore in the balls?"

I'm so glad I didn't go over there when Tony called me to "participate in the conversation."

This is one area in parenting I am not good at. I mean, I can tell them all about The Penis and The Vagina, but when it comes to TONY'S penis and MY vagina?

P-U-K-E.

I am so not comfortable with my kids knowing that me and Tony "rub bushes."

ahhhhhhhhh.

Posted by Y at September 12, 2005 05:21 PM
Comments

Too funny! That sounds like something my husband would do. I always tell him he is like an overgrown 10 year old. But, hey I love him anyway, so what does that say about me? LOL

Posted by: Nik at September 12, 2005 07:29 PM

I don't think kids should know about their parents. I'm almost 30 and I STILL don't want to hear about people having sex, especially my mother! Just typing that out makes me want to cry. It's so wrong!!

Posted by: NinaKaye at September 12, 2005 07:54 PM

Bwwwaaahhhh Ha ha ha! You said 'Rubbing Bushes"! LOL! You are hilarious! :)

Posted by: Nicole at September 12, 2005 07:59 PM

I never want Allison to know about rubbing bushes, NEVER ! Oh God.

Posted by: jenn at September 13, 2005 02:51 AM

You? Squeamish? I'm laughing my ass off...

You can tell them all that stuff without inferring that you and dad actually do any of them. I mean, you are married after all....

Posted by: Philip at September 13, 2005 07:54 AM

LMAO...ya know, I like your husband's approach actually. If ya laugh about it, it's not quite so embarrassing to talk about it. But I understand from your point of view. I don't have children yet, but I'm not sure how in the world I'm going to broach the s-e-x talk. My mom didn't even tell me about sex...I learned about it in school and I still had more questions. My husband said his mom gave him a book to read.

Posted by: Colleen at September 13, 2005 08:00 AM

I must be the only one that doesn't have issues with this. LOL

I'd much rather they hear everything from myself or my husband, which actually, it has been from ME solely, than from the kids at school, etc.

Now the thought of my Grandma having sex, pretty much rattles me.

Posted by: Gina at September 13, 2005 09:11 AM

FYI-

You have to wait 6 weeks after the surgery, (to be safe/sperm free) then Tony takes in a sperm sample to be tested, and 1 week later, WA-LA!
They tell you whether he is sperm-free or not, which after all this shit, he better be!

I'm doing all this now. I'm on week 5.........

Posted by: heatherg at September 13, 2005 09:31 AM

You are SOOOOOOOO like me! That sounds like the conversations we have at my house....God it drives me nuts sometimes! My kids know entirely too much at times...but I wonder is it all bad, or just preparing them for the Real World....but yall crack me up..

Posted by: jenn at September 13, 2005 10:30 AM

My (soon to be ex) brother in law had a vasectomy 10 years ago after my niece was born. At the time, my #2 nephew was about 3 years old. Poor little guy had had to have a 'procedure' performed on his peener on the same day as his dad went in for his snippage.
The peener procedure made it *very* uncomfortable for nephew to wear pants or anything, so basically he was stuck laying on the couch with a little tent-thing over his lower half, preventing his goods from being on display but also not letting the fabric touch his area.
So the day after he got out of the hospital, I went over to babysit. I knew my BIL had been snipped, because, well, my sister is Not Discreet. However, I fully expected to Never Mention It In Conversation Ever because my brother-in-law's junk? Totally not interesting to me. I certainly didn't expect the following conversation:

me: Hey, buddy... how are you doing?
b (nephew): Oh, Tante, my peepee hurts so much!
me: I'm so sorry, baby. I know it hurts.
b: They had to do operations on my peepee!
me: I know, sweetie... and you were very brave.
(at this point my sister and her husband walk into the room before leaving)
b: It's okay Tante. Because Daddy's peepee hurts alot, too. Daddy is very brave because they did operations on his peepe.
me: Uhm... yeah. Daddy's brave.
b: Because he had operations on his peepee!
me: Yeah. He did.
b: AND HIS PEEPEE HURTS!

Posted by: Louise at September 13, 2005 05:43 PM

rubbing bushes...holy shit...yikes
hee hee
sorry I lost control for a moment
I'll never forget when our kids decided to tell my MIL about my hubby's "so we can never have another brother or sister as long as we live" surgery...dear God in heaven!
good luck babe and oofta

Posted by: Sheryl at September 13, 2005 10:01 PM

gah rossssss!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: joy madison at September 15, 2005 08:22 PM

Intellectually drafted article. Seems to grab attention at once. Tony

Posted by: Tony at September 16, 2005 01:38 AM
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My name is Y, but you can call me "Jesse's girl." I am an Aerobic Dancer and have mastered many moves, but the one I am the most proud of is "The Monkey." I have three kids. ALL FROM THE SAME DAD (Because, did you know someone actually asked me that question?) A 15 year old son, a 11 year old son and a 4 year old daughter who was not planned but who is loved more than words could ever express. I am addicted to Starbucks, reality TV and to getting really good deals through coupons and "club member" savings (Please, respect The Costco Card.) I am extremely competive and if you don't believe me, just ask my husband about the time I sold him out to win a game of Taboo. If you're waiting for the part where I speak of my love for walks on the beach or slow dancing in the rain, you're going to be disappointed because my idea of a good time usually involves things like "burping contests" and "doing The Worm".

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