Last week I had a conversation with Jim about my weight. I shared with him my frustrations about trying so hard (which, was kind of a lie, because for the past few months, I've not been trying as hard as I could have been.) and only seeing minimal results.
He then proceeded to give me some great advice. I listened closely and decided I was going to do everything he told me to do, because, um, have you seen his body? The man knows what he's talking about.
I cut out sugar (and by "cut out sugar" I mean, I replaced my "venti green tea frappucinos with a tall, nonfat, sugar free vanilla latte. And can I just say..."Yuck"? Because, yuck.) I worked out every morning before I had anything to eat. I drank more water. I ate lots of veggies (salads) and snacked on fruit during the day.
As of this morning, I had lost 6 pounds.
Awesome. I was hoping for 24, but hey, I'll take what I can get these days.
I was talking to a friend about my progress and how S-L-O-W the weight is coming off. I like to pretend that I'm happy it's coming off slowly because "that means I probably won't gain it back! Because I did it The Right Way!" Which, is probably true, but DAMN.
We started talking about all the crazy things we used to do to lose weight.
The craziest thing I ever did? Starve myself for days, only eating white rice with lemon when I couldn't take it anymore, and when I DID finally break down and eat something, I'd do 20358698 jumping jacks in my room until I was drenched in sweat but ONLY AFTER I had taken a package of chocolate laxatives.
I'd poop until there was nothing left but juicy air. I'd actually sit on the toilet crapping juicy air. And crying because MAN did it hurt, but hey! I was SKIN-NAY!
I sometimes get tempted to do crazy, insane, unhealthy things like that again to lose weight, but now that I'm the age that rhymes with "dirty whore" I am too afraid of dying or damaging vital organs.
I'm curious, what's the craziest thing you've done to drop a few pounds? Or am I the only one who shat juicy air to look beautiful







Well, it wasn't a weight loss attempt, but when I went vegan, I lost a ton of weight. And I felt so much better. I've since added back seafood because it just wasn't life without seafood. And I still feel great being meat and dairy-free. There are so many great substitutes out there these days that I don't even miss it. Except maybe cheese. There's no replacing the cheese.