I spend a good part of my day kissing, hugging and squeezing my daughter. She's not always happy about it, but it doesn't stop me from smothering her.
Sometimes, when she sleeps, I'll sneak in the room and stare at her. And I'll think how I can't wait til she wakes up so I can kiss, hug and squeeze her again.
I loved my boys like that, I kissed them all of the time, I cuddled them and I enjoyed every minute with them when they were little, but I truly had no idea just how quickly the years would pass, how soon they'd be "grown" and no longer my little baby boys.
I remember the day that picture was taken. It's permenantly inscribed in my memory. That's my first baby, Andrew. It was a warm day and we were just relaxing outside of our condo. Tony grabbed the camera and snapped away. My God, I love that boy and I can't remember being happier than I was that very moment, right there, with my beautiful son. I was only 23 years old. Some would say too young to be a mother, but that was all I ever wanted.
To have children. To be a good mom to those children.
That smile on my face? That was real, pure happiness, because that little boy was everything I had ever wanted. And I was doing what I believed I was meant to do, the only thing that I believe I am truly good at.
Being a mother.
I had no idea at that moment, when I was kneeling next to the child I loved so much, the little person who brought so much joy into my life, that I'd blink my eyes and he'd be a 12 year old young man.
I knew he'd not be little forever, I knew one day he'd be an akward, witty, pubescent, zitty nosed, but totally perfect preteen young man, but I honestly had absolutely NO IDEA it would happen so damn fast. So fast, that it hurts.
Now, I have been blessed with another baby, an unexpected daughter. I am painfully aware of how quickly she will grow, how the days will turn into months, then into years. How one day, she'll not want to me hold her close and kiss her all over because she'll have friends to play with or games to play or skates to lace up and glide around the neighborhood in.
I know that day is just around the corner, so for now, I will kiss that girl, I will cuddle that girl, I will squeeze her and nibble on her sweet little cheeks every damn chance I get and I will be careful to remember how sweet she smells, how soft she feels and how very, very precious she is at every moment of every day that I am blessed to hold her in my arms.
Oh, I so love the cheese! And that photo! All the photos! Thanks for this post, Y. It's gorgeous, just like you.