Yesterday, the clouds rolled in and the skies turned dark and gray. Very much a reflection of how I've been feeling the past couple of weeks. The pain and frustration within is starting to manifest itself in everything I do (and have not done, for that matter.)
Anything I write makes me sound like a whiny, bitter old hag, so I've tried to keep my "mouth shut". Don't talk much around the house because you can only say "Everything is blurry in my right eye and OUCH I hurt" so many times before you become VERY AND HIGHLY ANNOYING.
I have an appointment at 3 today, because, well, does anyone know what the organ located just under the right rib is? Because I keep getting very sharp, cramp like pains there and it's all sore.
See? Boring and annoying. (but seriously, if you know what organ is located there, holla at your girl.)
All I do anymore is ask people body/bodily function questions. I can't tell you how many times I've stopped myself from writing a post in which I ask a question like "Is it normal when you're sleeping and suddenly you feel all of this pressure in your face and head, and you feel as though you may explode?"
This is too overwhelming for me. I've convinced myself I'm dying of something and it's only a matter of time before the doctors discover the massive tumor or terminal disease and I can jump up, point my fingers at them and go "WHO'S CRAZY AND MAKING IT ALL UP IN THEIR HEADS NOW, BITCHES? HAAAAAAAAAA!"
I'm thinking of shutting down this blog until I feel better. Notice I said THINKING. And I'm not saying it to be dramatic, or to hope you'll beg me not to go, ok? It's just, well, when people tell me that they're dozing off halway through my entries, or I get hate mail saying that I'm just whining for attention, it may be a sign that it's TIME TO JUST LET IT GO.
I'm worn out. Tired of feeling sick, tired of talking about feeling sick, tired of writing about feeling sick but mostly? I'M TIRED OF THIS DAMN NEIGHBORHOOD.
Let me give you a little run down of the past few days here.
Backyard neighbors had 3 parties in a row in which there was music so loud my walls shook, and whoo hoooooing hobags (which, I'm not judging, I'm just sayin...).
First grader next door walks up to me, looks me in my eyes and says "Hey, DID YOU CALL CPS ON MY MOM?" (answer? No. but I know who did) The next day, a note on the truck that said "I am NOT a tweeker, the marks on my arm are from psoriasis, GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT".
Crackhead uncle called his friends to jack all the shit out of the truck abandoned by the dude who lived in the neighbors RV for MONTHS (and left behind a double sided dildo along with hermaph*dite adult videos, but that's besides the point really, but, yet, HAHAHHAHA).
I hear screaming, bottles breaking and my husband shouting DON'T DO SOMETHING YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET, run outside to find the OTHER neighbor is fighting with his son and THERE IS A KNIFE AND THERE IS BLOOD. The father is telling is calling the son names like "fucker" and "asshole" and the son is holding a knife saying "I"ll see you at work, PUNK." and my husband is holding the father back (HUGE MAN.) and REMEMBER, THERE WAS BLOOD, so I'm freaking out because BLOOD. KNIVES. FATHER. SON. OMG. The son came at the dad one last time and I jumped in and said "Please, my GOD, I have kids inside, they don't need to see this shit, PLEASE." It worked and son left while threatening to finish the job at work.
What is wrong with these people? Surely, if they knew I had The Blurry Eye With Shooting Pain, they'd not try to stab each other! Perhaps I should write a note of my own and post it on the rear window of my van.
"Dear Neighbors, I'm currently suffering from Blurry Eye and Numb Foot, and when y'all are cutting each other and throwing glass bottles, you cause it to flare up. It's not cool to make people flare up, so please, put the knives (and the VERY LARGE double sided dildos, for that matter, because no one wants to know what you do with that thing, Joey.) away and LET US LIVE IN PEACE."
(no time to edit, so, feel free to point out the mistakes and maybe I'll fix it later.)







Looks like you need to move near me. Houses you can afford, school in walking distance, huge yard, and well, ME.