Tonight whilst strolling through the aisles of Target, I saw a man walking towards me. He was pushing a cart with two little girls inside. I immediately recognized him, in that "Hey, I KNOW that man" kind of way, but I wasn't sure how I knew him.
Then, he spoke. He had an accent. A very sexy accent and man, was he GORGEOUS.
It clicked suddenly and my mouth got all watery and I totally admit that I wanted to cry because OH MY GOD THAT'S THE DUDE FROM EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER.
Now, normally, I would have ran up to him, introduced myself and asked him for a hug. That's what I do when I meet celebrities. I don't care! I love to love people!
Ask Robyn. I introduced myself to George Wallace and hugged him.
Same with Todd Glass and Gary Gulman. How do you think I became "friends" with Jay Mohr? And let us not forget Matt Rogers!
See? I run up to people and I HUG PEOPLE! Because I have no shame, I do not care! I love to love people! That is WHO I AM!
But last night? I wasn't my "self" because last night? I acted like an idiot. My sister was with me and she knows how I am. Infact, she jokes about how "embarassing" I can be because I DO NOT CARE! I WILL HUG PEOPLE and I will tell them how much I love them! So, when I saw him, she said "Go! Talk to him! Do it!"
"No way! I will not! I refuse!"
She was shocked. "Why not? Why won't you do it? I know how you are! Come on! DO IT!"
"Nope. NO way. I will not."
I have no idea what happened to me, and why I was so "embarassed" to go introduce myself and hug that beautiful man, but I was.
And, as dumb as it sounds (Because I KNOW it sounds dumb. I mean, who cares about Ed? He's just a man who happens to help change people's lives by rebuilding them beautiful homes!) But, I'm so angry with myself. Why was I so intimidated? The fact that he's perfectly gorgeous has a great deal to do with it, but, the fact that I was SCARED? The fact that I lacked any self confidence whatsoever? Bothers me immensely.
There aren't too many things I can say that I like about myself, but my friendly nature, my ability to feel at ease with people, my love of hugging people, these are all things that I actually love about who I am, and the fact that I was too intimated to be myself last night scares me.
So, like tom cruise would say. It's not even "about Ed". It's about the fear that I'm "losing myself". (As opposed to "losing my ass" because DEAR GOD WHY IS MY ASS STILL AS LARGE TODAY AS IT WAS 2 WEEKS AGO?)
There's a very good chance that I'm doing what I tend to do quite often and that would be MAKING HUGE DRAMATIC DEAL out of something that really isn't a big deal at all. Just because I didn't run up to Ed at Target and hug him doesn't have to mean that I'm "losing myself". GEEZ. It could just mean I was a little worried that he saw us stalking him up and down the isles, pretending like we REALLY LOVE CHILDRENS' BOOKS and I would have felt like a giant ass approaching him knowing HE KNEW we were following him.
This is what I do. I turn everything into some kind of "issue".
"I did not hug a celebrity in Target! THAT MUST MEAN A PART OF ME HAS DIED!"
The truth is, I just chickened out. Making it into something bigger than that is just plain stupid.
But not as stupid as passing up a chance to hug Ed because DAMN, that man is hot.
At the least, did you wait for him in the parking lot outside and follow him home?
THEN you could have hugged him, cuz you wouldn't have been in Target anymore.