I had planned on writing a Cheese Filled post about what today means to me, but today has been THE WORST MORNING OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. And when I say "worst" you have to trust me. It involves people falling out of bed and scratching chunks out of their back, PUKE, sleeping in late, dropping the bottle of pedialyte and busting it open, having to tell my dad, who was calling FROM AFRICA, "sorry we can not talk to you because we are running late and if Andrew gets one more referrel he will be on the ineligiblity list and PLEASE DON'T CRY DAD" and so on and so forth.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!@1!!
What a day, man. And today is a special day, a very special day because F-I-F-T-E-E-N Y-E-A-R-S ago, on this very day, I wore a really big veil on top of my really big bangs and said "I do" to a man with really BIG glasses and when my dad said "you may kiss the bride" and we leaned in for that kiss, my really big veil got tangled up in his really big glasses (HA!HA!HA!)and all the guests laughed a really big laugh and then we got in a really big limo and proceeded to a really big gym where would eat a piece of our really big cake and then go home to our apartment and have really big sex.
And, fifteen years later, we've become two REALLY BIG DORKS
Who rip really big farts in front of each other
And give each other really big kisses whilst laughing about the really big farts we blew
Because, again? Dorks.
Dorks who still love to boink, and that's all that matters.
Happy Anniversary!!