Joy Unexpected | This Blog is Poison to Your Brains!

November 21, 2005

Always the last to know.

I haven't watchted "The View" in a very long time because I HATE that show AND the women on it.

And when I say "hate" I mean, I want to cut each and every one of them everytime they open their mouth because WHO CARES WHAT MEREDITH VIERA THINKS ABOUT ANYTHING?

Anyway.

I was flipping through the channels this morning and there they were. Joy. Babara. That Chick From Survivor. And...

HOLY CRAP WHAT HAPPENED TO STAR JONES?! And why didn't anyone tell me she's lost weight?

She's skinny! And flat chested! And her head is FREAKING HUGE! Bring back "big & beautiful (her words, not mine)" Star Jones! Skinny Star Jones scares me.

Another reason to not watch that show.

But I'll tell you what show y'all should be watching.

The Tyra Banks show.

Ah, yeah. That show is Da Bomb, yo.

Today's episode? "Bow Wow Know How." Two teeny boppers playing "Bow Wow" trivia. One girl was declared the winner and took off screaming , running backstage to "meet Bow Wow." The other fan was CRUSHED and was all "What kind of crazy questions were those?" BUT GET THIS! Tyra so kah-raaazy, because actually only one of the girls was a Bow Wow fan, the other was "an actress" and girlfriend pulled a little prank or, as Tyra likes to call it, a "OH NO YOU DI'INT OH YES WE DID" on the fan and OMG1!! BOW WOW WAS ACTUALLY IN THE STUDIO!

I aint mad'atcha Tyra. And you shouldn't be either. She's changing lives, people.

But seriously, folks. I don't know what I'd do without Judge Mathis at 11 because he saves me from the hell that is morning television programming here in Southern California.

And when you're a stay at home mom of THREE who still breastfeeds and has A LOT OF DANG LAUNDRY to fold, it's important that the television programming NOT SUCK.

It's also important to me that people keep me posted on things like, say, I don't know... STAR JONES NO LONGER BEING FAT.

Posted by Y at November 21, 2005 10:29 AM

Comments

OMG- not a fan of the show either, but have seen Star Jones and Eeeewww....is all I have to say. She looks old and haggard to me now. Who looks worse when they lose weight??? What a freak!

Posted by: clickmom at November 21, 2005 11:38 AM

Star Jones, that's who.

I mean, good for her on losing it! I know how hard it is, so "you go girl" and all that jazz, but DAMN! The size of her head! And her eyes!

Freaaky

Posted by: Y at November 21, 2005 11:47 AM

she had gastric bypass last year before she got married. and you're right, she does have a big head. along with tyra, i like watching ellen. when you're a stay at home nanny of 2 you need more comedy. i also sneak in a little house or 2 if it's good. quality programming.

Posted by: jenny lee at November 21, 2005 11:50 AM

oh and another reason to not watch the view is that those girls are so far up tom cruise's ass that they think he is a god. i, however, hope that mr. cruise comes down with depression. :)

Posted by: jenny lee at November 21, 2005 11:52 AM

one more thing. i know you don't "come down with depression". thank you *bows*

Posted by: jenny lee at November 21, 2005 11:52 AM

I can't imagine me watching either of those shows if I was lucky enough to be at home during the day. But Ellen - she's got moves! :P

Mainly when I play sick, I mean stay home since I feel so rotten, I watch "Primetime in the Daytime" on TNT. Reruns of ER and Charmed! That's the stuff right there. :P

Posted by: Itchy at November 21, 2005 12:32 PM

Sometimes I watch The View to see what weird clothes they've got that survivor girl wearing.

Posted by: NinaKaye at November 21, 2005 01:15 PM

Is it me or does she and maybe Oprah too look a bit like a drag queen now? Just sort of freaky looking? .....maybe it's just me... it is all the laundry I know it just must me..

Posted by: Tammy at November 21, 2005 01:47 PM

I love it when Star Jones wears low cut shirts and we all see her deflated, saggy titties. Nothing like a couple of deflated balloons while I drink my coffee.

Also? Oprah? Why are people screaming over an ugly watch?

Posted by: Sarcastic Journalist at November 21, 2005 02:10 PM

When Star Jones was heavy, didn't you think she'd be prettier skinny than she turned out to be?

Posted by: Laura at November 21, 2005 02:14 PM

Star Jones looks like one of those Bratz dolls now.

Her weight loss is suspect, according to the gossip. She REFUSED to discuss her weight loss, which of course is her prerogative. Who the hell are we? BUT, she lost it SO freakin' fast and the rumor mill says she had WLS. If so, then just SAY so. But, I suppose she could get accused of doing it 'the easy way', which of course, no one wants to hear.

Why do I care so much about Star Jones? LOL...

Posted by: Joelle at November 21, 2005 02:15 PM

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!! i forgot to watch oprah today to see that stupid favorite things show..........dddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnggggggg!!!!!! now i have to wait until reruns

Posted by: jenny lee at November 21, 2005 03:28 PM

I have to apologize.

I thought your trick had something to do with your knee going in your vagina. I am fine with knees and vaginas, but that would be like a train wreck.

I'm assuming from rereading its making your knee skin look like a vagina. I'm totally pissed I missed that.

Posted by: girl friday at November 21, 2005 03:30 PM

Skinny don't make you pretty. Homegirl Star is bizzuttugly

Posted by: The Aitch at November 21, 2005 03:35 PM

I represent those saggy, deflated titties. ::cries::

Posted by: Beth at November 21, 2005 03:47 PM

Fat people should stay fat and skinny should stay skinny. It throws the whole universe as well as my mind out of whack when things like that change, especially as fast as Star (who the hell does she think she is with a name like that anyway - how vain!)....

Posted by: bohemiangirl at November 21, 2005 04:24 PM

Beth, Me too.

Chicks with Saggy Tits unite!

(Except Star Jones, she's not invited. And we're allowed to make fun of hers because SHE'S RICH!)

Posted by: Y at November 21, 2005 04:27 PM

We should start a saggy tits webring.

But, if I were rich, I would NOT have saggy tits. I would have a tit servant just to hold them up, hell!

Posted by: Laura at November 21, 2005 05:16 PM

I've been saying that if the chemo doesn't kill me, the daytime tv will. AND the hospital doesn't have E! or Comedy Central - two channels we should be watching.

Star looks like she needs her thyroid checked out with those eyes. And girl needs a boob lift. If you are going to do WLS, and can afford it, you need to get that shit trussed up, wear a push up bra, or leave the low cut shit at home.

I hate survivor girl. She's all kinds of self richeous & uber super mommy now.

Posted by: debutaunt at November 21, 2005 06:52 PM

Well, I am depressed because it was Oprah's fucking show where everyone leaves with a bazillion cool things and I was not there.

Posted by: Rori at November 21, 2005 06:57 PM

The thing about Star is she really looks like someone inflated a balloon and stuck it where her head should be. Who knew her head would stay that big?

Man. I don't know what one does about something like that. But I'd be PISSED if that shit happened to me!

-H

Posted by: Hed at November 21, 2005 10:23 PM

Must. go. find. a pic...morbid curiousity, I suppose, but I wanna see the fat-turned-skinny-Bratz-looking Star.

I'm wierd, I know.

Posted by: Firebrand at November 22, 2005 02:02 AM

man, yvonne even I knew. and i live in germany.. where have you been? :D

Posted by: kim at November 22, 2005 03:34 AM

Star looks like a bug-eyed bobble head doll. I agree about the saggy boobs, too...the tops she wears make her boobs look all smashed down. Shell out the money for a breast lift.

And Y, please...you're rather perky, and you've shown some pics to prove it!!

Posted by: Curly at November 22, 2005 08:11 AM

I think Star Jones, Oprah, Montel Williams and RuPaul are all the same person.

Posted by: Natalie at November 22, 2005 10:24 AM

You all are cracking me up. LOL Oh my God I so agree I would be so mad if I got skinny and found out I was ugly.
Momma Y you are so beautiful and you have 3 wonderful children that I am sure Star Jones is aching to have.

Raise a sbux to us mommies of the world with hubbys that love us no matter what!!
CHEERS.
Thanks for the laughs ladies

Posted by: Tammy at November 22, 2005 12:34 PM

I guess this wouldn't be a good time to tell you that Dr. Phil has his own show now ...

Posted by: danelle at November 22, 2005 02:31 PM

oh nasty...dr. phil.

Posted by: jenny lee at November 22, 2005 04:06 PM

Star Jones eyes kinda looks like that runaway brides chicks eyes, all bugged out and shiznit. I bet they could use her head as a float in the Thanksgiving day parade, its that big. Damn!. As for Oprahs favorite things, yay for the volunteers, but the screaming? Some of the "things" werent THAT great. Sarah Jessica Parkers stinky perfume?? No thanks!

Posted by: Paula at November 22, 2005 05:48 PM

Holy shit! I finally found a picture and I would not have even recognized her if you hadn't said something. She looks dead!

(The picture, for anyone else who hasn't seen The Horror: http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/industry/001257.php)

Posted by: Annika at November 22, 2005 08:28 PM

On the other hand...

http://www.laurenscherr.com/e-store/media/celebs/Star%20Jones-Reynolds%20with%20kelly350.jpg

She looks pretty slender there, and less dead. Still kind of like an alien, but she looked like a martian even at her fattest (which oh my god, while I was picture searching, I saw pics of her easily twice as big as I remember ever seeing before).

Posted by: Annika at November 22, 2005 08:31 PM