Yesterday, my husband tells me that we have a gopher in the backyard.
I freaked out.
"A GOPHER? What the? Where did it come from? HOW? WHY? AAAAAAHHHH."
He couldn't believe how upset I got over a gopher, so he came to the most LOGICAL EXPLANATION FOR MY REACTION EVER!
"Babe, I think you have it confused with a beaver."
Right, because, surely I couldn't be upset about a gopher and must have thought he meant the creature with large front teeth, who eats tree bark and BUILDS DAMS!!
And I don't want no beavers to be buildin' no dams in my backyard!
I shouldn't be surprised at his "beaver" comment, the man has a history of saying things that make me go "...THE HELL?"
Like, the time that I was very sick and started crying about how much pain I was in and he pointed his finger at me, got in my face and yelled "I TOLD YOU TO LAY OFF OF THE DIET COKE, WOMAN."
Huh?
Most of the time, his totally random, completely bizarre comments make me laugh hysterically, but when I'm "pre-raggin' it" I want to tape his mouth shut with a maxipad.
My Dad used to kill those things when he was a kid for farmers.
Atleast I think it was gophers. All those weird rodent things look alike. ;)