If my experience as "mommyblogger of the week" has taught me anything, it is that I could never be a professional writer.
I was asked to answer questions for an interview and to write a guest entry.
Easy, right?
Ha.
It took me over3 hours to answer the interview questions. Three hours!
And then, last night, I sat down to write a guest entry. I sat here, stumped for 2 hours. I literally couldn't think of anything to write. I decided to take a shower and see if naked soapy naughty bits would give me inspiration.
All that did was remind me of how desperately I am in need of some "Woman Groomin".
I couldn't take it anymore and decided to send them a post from my archives. And even that was a MAJOR ORDEAL. I think I sent them 3 or 4 different emails with different posts and subjects like "I SWEAR THIS IS THE ONE" or "OMG I CHANGED MY MIND AGAIN."
I once had a teacher tell me "You do pretty darn gun when you have a loaded gun to your head." Meaning, I do my best work when I'm under pressure. That is not true when it comes to writing. When I am asked to come up with something on the spot? I just can't do it.
I don't think anyone will be asking me to do anymore guest blogging anytime soon. (Sorry, ladies.)
Last night whilst going through my archives, I found this little gem.
Just uttered
"I was almost late for work. I barely had enough time to shave and GLUE MY TOOTH BACK ON."
(Growing old together is proving to be more fun than I could have ever imagined.)
I laughed so hard, Tony came running into the room.
"What's so funny, babe?"
I pointed to the monitor. He started to read it out loud.
He BUSTED UP laughing.
Oh, how we laughed. And laughed. And laughed. (and peed a little). And laughed.
He stopped laughing for a second, and said "HEY! Why would you put that on The Internet?"
"Because it's FUNNY AS HELL, that's why."
And we both started laughing again. Until we were holding out stomachs.
He never did have to glue it on again because man, that glue he bought did the TRICK.
Man, that it would have been hilarious if in our wedding vows, I had added "Til death do us part, OR until the day you have to glue a tooth back on, because DUDE, that's NOT RIGHT.
But I didn't see that one coming, so, til death do us part, man. Til death.Do.Us.Part.
hey, I just read your interview at mommybloggers, and it was great! Lots of writers draw a blank when they have a deadline or have to write for someone else. It was so funny, and real, and I enjoyed looking at some of your previous posts throughout the interview.