Tonight Aerobic Dance Class was Ceraaazy, people.
I admit that I get more pumped up then a person should get about dancing aerobicly. I also admit that I am EXTREMELY COCKY about it and pretty much think I am The Best Aerobic Dancer in the mutha fucking HOUSE.
Anyway, cute Aerobic Dance Instructor with the Perfect Buttocks was all "Tonight, we do Hip Hop/Jazz combination." And OH MY GOD. I wanted to scream because A COMBINATION DANCE IS A DREAM COME TRUE. I held it together on the outide, but on the inside, I was dying (DYING!) from excitement (ok, and my mouth was watering a little too.)
The dance started and they were pretty simple "moves." So of course, the other wimmins thought they were all that and started to get all cocky. Totally uncalled for, bitches. (I know, I know, I'm cocky, who am I to talk? Um, only The Greatest Aerobic Dancer to have ever dance aerobic-ly. That's who! REPSECT THAT SHIT.) I was like "hell to the NO on that. It is *I* who rules the room, it is *I* who Gets All The Moves The First Time. Don't even try it." Seriously.
She starts incorporating the harder moves and do I even need to tell you that I nailed each and every one of them? No. I do not.
Finally, we get to the end of the dance and she does this TOTALLY AWESOME MOVE that I nail the first time (Of COURSE I do!) At least I thought I nailed it until I feel a woman furiously tapping my shoulder and hear screams of "You're RIGHT hand, not your left, your RIGHT!" My first reaction was one of shock, like, I KNOW she did NOT just touch my aerobic dance arm in a violent like manner. But, as I was thinking of how to take her down for even thinking of STEPPING TO THIS, the girl next to her shouts "yeah, I'm following YOU, so if you're gonna stand in the front row, you should get it RIGHT."
I'll let that sink in for a minute.
What.The.Hell?
I couldn't believe what was happening and that THE WIMMINS WERE HOLDING ME ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR MISTAKES. As if I was some kind of Aerobic Dancing GOD who they look up to and who is not allowed to make mistakes. UM. I am not the Instructor, but a mere student of The Aerobic Dance. I realize that I am awesome at it and I'm flattered that they look up to me in that way, but no one forced their asses to follow ME. Hello? Am not the instructor. DO NOT EVER TAP ME ON MY ARM OR SPEAK TO ME DURING THE DANCE EVER AGAIN.
To get them back (and this is a true story!) I let one rip towards the end of class and gave them a little something "special." But that's not even the best part. Oh no. You see, after I ripped one, I turned around and looked at the "two who tried to step to this" and made a face like "HOW DARE YOU."
What can I say, Aerobic Dance brings out the absolute best in me.
In other completely unrelated news, my "friend" (no! really) Jay Mohr asked me if I could get a group of 50 people together to go see him at The Irvine Improv this weekend. I didn't have the nerve to tell him I only know like 29 people in real life, but I was all "Sure! I will ask the people who read my BALAWWG if they want to go with me to see the show!"
Anyway, if you're in So Cal and you know, want to go see a great comedy show, email me, or just purchase tickets from The Improv and I'll see you there.
(His buffness is TOTALLY worth the $$. Oh, and he's kinda funny.)
dammit! if this weren't the weekend before finals i would totally go with you. crap. i wish it were next weekend instead. have fun. :*