There was a period of time where the church I grew up in went all "Cult." They started preaching crazy things from the pulpit. Things like "Christian women didn't wear makeup, because that made them Jezebel whores" or "Women had to wear dresses because ONLY MEN CAN WEAR PANTS."
Also? Women had to have long hair. Pretty long hair.
As a young girl, I wanted nothing more than to have bangs. You see, I had this crazy widows peak and when I'd wear my hair back, people would make fun of me. On more than one occassion, I was called "Squiggy" (from Happy Days.) Kids are so cruel! I asked my parents if I could cut bangs, but the answer was always "Absolutely not!"
One night, whilst in the bathroom, I started playing with my hair to see what I would look like with bangs. I pulled some hair to my forehead and held it there. It was in that moment I came up with a brilliant idea. I thought "if I cut a little piece of bang, no one will ever notice and I can get a better idea of what I would look like with bangs!"
I got the scissors, took a chunk of hair from my widows peak and chopped it off.
There, in the middle of my forehead, layed one piece of bang. The minute I saw it, I panicked. How in the world could I hide that chunk of bang from my parents?
But then, I had another brilliant idea! I would shave it! Shave the piece of hair and Ha! Haaaaa! No one would ever know what I had done.
Um, except the very next day in Sunday School, the Sunday School teacher was all "What's wrong with your head, Y? Is that a bruise?"
(Because, you know how when you shave a patch of hair and there is stubble left, it kinda looks purple?)
I wanted to lie, but I was in The House of The Lord, so, I told her the truth of what I had done. After she finished laughing hysterically, she asked if my mom knew about it. Of course my mom didn't know about it! But Sunday School teacher made sure that she knew about it. (Just like the time she "made sure" that my mom knew that I had thought it was be HILARIOUS to change the first line of the hymn "The Old Rugged Cross" to "On a hill far away, where we all used to play, :insert something funny about a boy seeing my underwear:" Man, I got whipped GOOD for that one.)
My mom was P.O'd. And as punishment, she REFUSED to allow me to cut bangs, meaning I'd have to suffer the "grow out" in humiliating fashion.
Oh, The teasing I had to endure! Especially once it started growing in and got all spiky and shit.
"PORCIPINE!"
Here is the only photographic evidence I have of the actual growing in of the bangs. Thank GOD I was such a "looker" who did not need makeup to look all hot, because, MAN, life would have really sucked if I was akward looking in addition to having a protruding patch of bangs sticking out of the middle of my forehead.
(I wanted to bad to make a "She thinks my tractor's sexy" joke, but FOR THE LIFE OF ME could not think of one that was actually funny, but look! I found a way to bring up the tractor without it having to actually be funny because ha! ha! ha! ha! I'M LEANING ON A TRACTOR.)
Girl, you can barely even tell. All I see are two HAWT chicks standing by a tractor and ONE of the chicks is kinda showing off.
My sister wanted hair "down there" so bad that she grabbed a razor and shaved her "thing".
Dry.
And hard.
The next thing you know, we are having to put aloe vera on her privacy.
Since that didn't work, she took some cat fur (that had been shed, apparently) and scotch taped it.
Down There.
Good times.