Oh Yvonne, the people who are lucky enough to meet you at BlogHer will NOT be looking at you in judgement; they will be looking at you in incredible joy and welcome and happiness. I'd give anything to go, and if a miracle happened and I could, I would seek you out and hug you and tell you that I believe you to be one of most wonderful and beautiful people in the world. You don't owe anybody an apology, not even yourself. You've let no one down. You're human. And I know that you have many people who would take your hand. Some of us can't actually touch you, but I hope you can feel the love from across the distance.

Just remember, you're weight gain didn't happen over night and neither will your weight loss. Chin up, Charlie.

Y, you did it before and you can do it again. The only one judging you is YOU.
We're all just cheering you on. :)

I hate to break this news to you, but people at BlogHer won't give a shit how much you weigh. Whether you weigh 125 or 525 or something in between...you're still you. And from what little I've read about people going, they really only care what they look like, like you care what you look like. Are you worried about what any of the other bloghers will weigh? I didn't think so.

bah. I knew I shouldn't have posted this or at least turned off the comments.

It's really hard to say what I mean to say without sounding um, egotistical? Um, self centered? I know that the people there won't care about my weight. It's more about MY problem with feeling paranoid because of how I've documented my weight loss here and how now that I gained weight, thinking that people will go "Hey, I thought she lost weight, but look! she's sure doesn't look like she did in those pictures!"

God. I can't explain it in the way that I mean it. It's just me, not wanting to look like a liar. ack.

blahblahblahblahblah. I really need to keep these feelings to myself because they ALWAYS get me into trouble.

I've been reading for a while, but this is the first time I feel compelled to comment. I read the original post. I think what readers appreciate most about your writing is its honesty. Weight loss, weight gain, family life, self-efficacy...all of it. Thanks for sharing. ;-)

Oh, pshaw, your feelings are fine, there's no reason to edit.

If you lose weight, we're happy for you. If you don't, we want to cheer you up. As far as I can see, no one could ever accuse you of lying. Now, if you'd made up your whole family and these pictures aren't of you at all...then we'll accuse you of lying, James Frey/JT Leroy. :) Otherwise, I think you're in the clear.

I'm sorry this is all so hard for you. I wish you lived next door and we could just do this together. Because, I haven't even gotten ON the wagon in a very very very very long time. I did, however, buy some fabulous fat pants at Old Navy that I love. And men's shorts, because unless I was anorexic, I would not be wearing most of Old Navy's women's shorty short short short shorts.

Thank you for that, a. I know and I LOVE the people who read my blog (except for the dude who sends me picture of his unmultilated cock). Everyone has been incredibly supportive and I could NOT have lost the weight I have without their support and encouragement.

It's just that today? Well, I just realized that today is the beginning of the Craziness called "The Week Before I Start My Period". I turn into a emotional wreck. Everything feels worse than it actually is and I say things I shouldn't say and I CRY ALL OF THE TIME ABOUT EVERY DAMN THING.

Also? I write and delete posts. It's just part of The Craziness.

But y'all? I LOVE YOU and thank you for "being here for me." seriously.

Your blog, your rules and anyone who doesn't like what you have to say can go read another blog.

(Oh, and I've found that upping my calcium intake helps with "the week before".)

I just wanted you to know that I don't want to hate you or be ashamed of you anymore, I'm just completely lost as to how to NOT feel this way anymore.

But I'm working on it. Be patient with me.

Your words. Be patient with yourself.

"It's more about MY problem with feeling paranoid because of how I've documented my weight loss here and how now that I gained weight, thinking that people will go "Hey, I thought she lost weight, but look! she's sure doesn't look like she did in those pictures!"

God. I can't explain it in the way that I mean it. It's just me, not wanting to look like a liar. ack."

I know EXACTLY what you mean there. Earlier this year I got a perm. And I loved it and I called myself permalicious and everything. And then I met one of my blog friends in person. Well...for some reason when I travel my hair looks terrible. TERRIBLE! It's like I go through this anti-permilicious worm hole or something while traveling because my hair looked like my golden's ass when I got there. And all I could think was "now this girl thinks that I'm totally crazy because I don't look permalicious...I look golden assalicious!" So...believe me...I know what you mean.

However, it would be different it you'd not been sharing pictures and your tales of your weight going up and down. But you have. :)

Anyways...that week before the period is such an evil doer.

I think you look beautiful!

you look great girlfriend, I would eat my arm to look like you!

I understand exactly how you feel. It's why I don't tell people when I'm starting a diet ... because if I decide a week later I want a double hot fudge sundae, I don't want anyone sitting back thinking, "Wow, she's totally full of crap .. I thought she said she was *dieting*????"

And since most of my diets only last about a week, and usually culminate in me eating a double hot fudge sundae, it's just better not to set myself up like that.

You, on the other hand, have been documenting for a while. So anyone who has paid attention knows and understands the struggle. And anyone who doesn't? Well, who cares? I visit your site every day, hoping for an update, not to see how you're diong with your weight loss (although I do cheer for you when it's ON) but because you are a passionate, hysterically-funny wife and mother and reading the things you have to say just cracks me up.

So keep up the good work!

I'm also in Weight Watchers, mostly inspired by you to join. Yes, it is a cult and, yes, they are really annoying when they clap and hand out stars.

With that being said, anyone who would ever quote the stupid-ass saying, "Your weight gain didn't happen overnight and your weight loss won't happen overnight either," should be taken out and beaten senseless by a large zucchini.

You can do it.

P.S. - Weight gain does happen overnight. At least in my world and every other woman with PMS.

I'm fragile like that, too. I think most of us are. Hang in there hon. Watch some Elliot videos!!!

You are so brave to post all the challenges and triumphs. I know you will get to your goal! You just keep on keepin' on!

Yvonne, you're not a liar....you've been totally up front and honest about all your weight issues throughout...including now

to me you are braver than brave, showing yourself to us...letting us see when you think you look less than good

and i totally get the 'it doesn't matter what anyone says i KNOW how i look' thing....i do it all the time...i get a compliment and i laugh and say oh yeah sure....it's the hardest thing isn't it...to see ourslelves in a certain way and know that sometimes people are just trying to be nice

my friend and i have a deal...if we see something that's just wrong we'll tell each other...and that promise is one we've kept....

you know your body the best Yvonne and in your honesty you also reveal your vulnerability and fear...but girlfriend you will lose this 5 lbs again...and some more after that....and the one thing throughout is....you will continue to touch our hearts

hugs

I think you're really quite beautiful.

Also, brilliant hilarious.

Y,

It doesn't matter how many times you fall off the wagon, as long as you get back on it. Take it from someone who keeps falling off it himself!

I'm currently between 50 and 60 pounds overweight. I just started my exercise program back up last night.

Y, um, don't feel like the lumpy crap the dog puked up. That's MY job this week, but I guess I'll share it if you want to have a whine fest (how long has it been since someone asked you if you wanted any cheese with that whine? My utterly retro family blurted that one this weekend..tells you where I've been)

I had a freakin nutso PMS-ing meltdown in Old Navy yesterday. Reason? I threw my back out cleaning out our storage (and moving 3000 lbs of crap to the attic) and have to wear a girdle/back brace/torture device that makes my fat rolls split like the US during the Civil War. 1/2 North (looking like I have a double chin of bobs) and 1/2 South (so I look like "Elmer Fudd when he gets that thing stuck on him you know Mom?" courtesy of my Gabby)

Why is this soooo horrible? Because most people would have taken to their bedroom and hid. Not me. We had to a) search the Hollywood Videos (my hubby helped carry my fat a$$) because they have 90% of their VHS tapes on sale for $3 (we loaded up BayBEEE!) b) cousins bday party at Pump It Up, couldn't miss, might get shunned c) my dad's first date since my mom died in January was last night with a woman I WORK WITH at a frou-frou restaraunt. And. I. Had. Nothing. To. Wear. (at least that covered by deformed body) Hence the Old Navy shopping trip from Hades. Which I will spare you the details of, because,dang, I've been whining here for about an hour.

Feel better yet? Too bad you don't live down south. There's nothing like whining in person and venting on poor innocent Baskin Robbins workers to really perk you up!

I hear ya, girl. This ain't easy, and it's for the long haul regardless, so a setback or two is just that - a setback. Not failure.

Hang in there, I love you as much as a stalker can love another blogger. Or, something like that. You inspired me to get off my fat ass and lose some weight, and the key so far has been the exercise. Okay, exercise and NOT eating ice cream for lunch and dinner. But hey, you can do it, as you've already shown yourself...

:)

(I read the original post, too, but was dealing with a melting baby at the time so I couldn't write a comment)

You tell me on the phone that you make this great big post, I come over to read (because haha, right after I talked to you I ahem, drank too much) and IT IS GONE.

I feel jilted.

Yesterday I was taking a shower and I don't know, I guess I was trying to do some sort of advanced shower technique of wiping the water out of my eyes while simultaneously wetting down my hair. But all did not go as planned. There was a miscalculation and it ended (alas!) with my pinky finger jammed up my left nostril. As if this was not bad enough, apparently my nail was long enough to gouge my poor tender inner nose flesh. It still hurts.

I've never commented before but I wanted to get this important story out there. Mostly I just wanted to complain about this without admitting that it happened to anyone I know in my daily life. Thank you.

It's time for some... AEROBIC DANCING! Git yerself out there and SHAKE IT!

Ya know, I've noticed something about you. You are gorgeous when you SMILE :D Your sad face photos just don't wash with me. When you smile you light up the picture.

You are doing so well with your weight loss and everything. Life is all about 2 steps forward, 1 step back. It's unfortunate, but KEEP GOING! You will have another 2 steps forward soon!

And just remember... Those ultra-cute faces of your kids had to come from somewhere - they are little Y clones! Gorgeous.

Chin up.

I think you look wonderful, and I'm not just saying that. If I didn't think so, I'd just not comment.

You look beautiful. Real.

And I want your pants. Where did you get them?

Ok Y, now you've got us all admitting to our failures/bizarre accidents (ahem, KAREN, I know you)

I think Y's opened a self-help group here, must be part of the retro-80's movement we've got going on...

So when do we get to hear about the eye-molesting-voyeur-craving freak that checked you out?!? Huh?

I think we all have the 5 pound backward slide (proverbial or otherwise), you're just being more open about what you're working thru.

clearly you haven't given up, you haven't resigned yourself for X- the fact that you didn't bail on the dr. appt. or the poke and prode fest that followed proves as much. You're working. You're a work in progress (or as I tell people, "I'm under construction".)

anyway, keep shaking that ass, and slapping that hand on the floor, making your moves your own. this aint over.

i dont know what your talking about but your beautiful1 you look great! woman i am ten times heavy than youll ever be!! im the one who should be whinning! but you look awsome :)
huggies

Y i would have punched him in the face. cause dude was rude!
as for your weight its pms weight chicky!
ps.. you look awesome!
pss.
lots of hugs to you!