Joy Unexpected | This Blog is Poison to Your Brains!

June 05, 2006

The moves will live on. Oh yes, they will.

I was getting ready for Aerobic Dance class when a little voice reminded me of the sign I saw the last time that I was at the gym. The sign said "There will be a new class schedule as of June 1." I thought I should call the gym to make sure they hadn't gone and messed with the time of MY Class.

"Hi, this is The Greatest Aerobic Dancer your gym has ever known and I'm just calling to make sure that Aerobic Dance is still at 6:00."

As she was giving me the answer to my question, the room started to spin, I felt dizzy.

"Anna... Russia... all summer... kickboxing instead..."

The room started spinning. I felt weak and dizzy. What? Huh? After a few minutes, the reality of what she had just said started to soak in.

OH MY GOD! MY AEROBIC DANCE INSTRUCTOR WENT TO RUSSIA! FOR THE ENTIRE SUMMER! WHICH MEANS NO MORE AEROBIC DANCE CLASS!

I know you probably think I'm being overly dramatic, but people! I live for The Aerobic Dance. The Aerobic Dance Floor is the one place in my life that I completely confident. And even when I've made mistakes, (which was HARDLY EVER) there's no denying that was still pretty much the Greatest AD to have ever danced aerobicly.

And thanks to my instructor who just HAD to go "visit her son"(which, whatever lady.) THAT HAS ALL BEEN RIPPED AWAY FROM ME.

I guess deep down I always knew it wouldn't last forever, I certainly didn't expect for it to be taken away so soon, so suddenly. I'm going to need a few days to let the enormity of this continue to soak in.

Goodbye Aerobic Dance Class. How I've loved you. How I'll miss you. Oh, dear GOD IN HEAVEN, how I'll miss you. But! I will never forget you. I will always remember. ALWAYS.

Long live The Monkey!

Posted by Y at June 5, 2006 02:51 PM

Comments

Give kickboxing a try. You'll be kick arse at it.

Posted by: lynne at June 6, 2006 12:31 AM

Sorry your routine was broken by maternal love. I hope you find something just as meaningful to replace areobic dance.

Posted by: Kate at June 6, 2006 01:39 AM

ACK! This is the worst news ever! How could she do this to you?

Kickboxing may be fun but it's definitely not the Monkey.

Posted by: Katie at June 6, 2006 04:56 AM

No no no no no no NOOOOO!!!
No monkey movie. It's not showing up! Argh! I wanna watch the monkey movie!

Deep Breath

So sorry about the aerobics! Maybe *you* should offer to teach it, hmmm?? I bet you'd be great at it.

Posted by: lastewie at June 6, 2006 05:16 AM

I'm thinking that kickboxing, although certainly no direct substitute for the goodness that is aerobic dance, would come in handy when encountering inappropriate Kevin James lookalikes in the future. ;^)

Posted by: Beth at June 6, 2006 05:17 AM

Is there someplace else that offers Aerobic Dancing?

Posted by: Heatherg at June 6, 2006 06:00 AM

I think you ought to start your own class. I'd go to it. I'd much rather go to a class with an enthusiastic realistic looking woman up there than a 19 yr old bimbo who I think is secretly laughing at my big buttocks jiggling here and yon.

Posted by: Me at June 6, 2006 06:44 AM

Queen of The Aerobic Dance no more? Pshaw! You can always be Queen of Kickboxing too ya know!

Posted by: Michelle at June 6, 2006 07:09 AM

kick boxing you be great at too :)
then you can lkearn to punch out creepy guys hehehe
. back when your instructer comes back you can be queen again :)
you still rule the gym Y ...:D

Posted by: tonya cinnamon at June 6, 2006 07:38 AM

Um, bad news, Y.

Since you posted yesterday about the pervie, now you keep having an ad showing for "sex offenders, find yours today!" over there --- on the right. Along with an ad for bartending school and bad credit. I guess all those things are suggestive of weirdos with pickle cologne.

Posted by: Me at June 6, 2006 07:40 AM

As Ross said so memorably in "Friends," - "You're on a break!" So you can date other people, er, classes, and then get back together in the fall, can't you?

Posted by: Melanie Lynne Hauser at June 6, 2006 07:47 AM

The aerobic dance posts are among the funniest things I've ever read. They are priceless.

Try the kickboxing. It's good.

Posted by: rose at June 6, 2006 07:54 AM

I know how you feel- my favorite hip hop class teacher suddenly left and went to Japan for 6 months. Why are they all leaving the country??

Posted by: Lauren at June 6, 2006 08:04 AM

It's not like Russia is that far away. Can you get some cheap-ass air fare and go stalk your instructor for a bit? Bet you can get her to come back early.

Posted by: ben at June 6, 2006 08:37 AM

Offer to teach the class for the summer. Just think! You could lose pounds/inches AND make money at the same time!

And, best of all... you could stick it to that snotty little bee-yotch that dared to say that you were "doing it wrong."

I would definitely take your class if the commute wasn't across the country;^} Just do it!!!

Posted by: dana michelle at June 6, 2006 11:19 AM

You are the CUTEST, with your monkey moves. I mean, the aerobic dancing hotness.

That clip totally made me want to bust out my Eric Nies tapes.

::blush::

Posted by: Culotte at June 6, 2006 11:22 AM

Take out your aggressions with a little kickboxing! It's pretty fun, too!

-H

Posted by: Hed at June 6, 2006 01:06 PM

this makes MY heart ache. Did russian lady ever once consider YOUR FANS in this equation when she decided to bolt for the summer? Well, DID SHE?? she better be coming back with some seriously bold Russian moves come September. that's all I gotta say about that.

Posted by: jen at June 6, 2006 02:34 PM

There's always Dance Dance Revolution.

Posted by: Lee at June 6, 2006 03:26 PM

OMG, you always have me cracking up but that Monkey Movie is killing me!!!!!!!!

Posted by: heidi at June 6, 2006 06:48 PM

OMG!! You are way too funny!!! Keep'em coming!!

Posted by: Bren at June 7, 2006 08:03 AM

Bummer Try Carmen Electra's aerobic strip tease exercise DVD's. Totally fun and your man will love it! The Hip hop one is a lot of work and probably what you are looking for. Plus you will have New moves in fall to impress the instructor. Good luck!

Posted by: Beth at June 7, 2006 01:20 PM

That has to be the best "monkey" I have ever seen!

You crack me up! I so needed that today. :)

Posted by: LotionBarBunny at June 8, 2006 05:23 PM

Hey! Didn't I see you on "So You Think You Can Dance?" Man, can't believe you got cut. You were ROBBED!!!

Posted by: Xdm at June 8, 2006 07:19 PM

I dig the braids! Your daughter looks like she is taking notes over there

Posted by: Jeanne at June 12, 2006 02:27 PM