Joy Unexpected | This Blog is Poison to Your Brains!

August 29, 2006

Just to be sure, how does one spell "I'm going to sock you in the sac if you ask me that one more time?"

Sometimes, my husband over thinks things to the point that he makes me want to do bad things to him.

Things like drop kick him in the head.

Of course, I mean that in the most loving and non violent way possible.

Let me give you an example.

Remember how I told you that I was thrown out of my son's basketball playoff game on Saturday? Well, the team ended up losing that game by one point. (ONE! UNO!) And it was because of a bogus call by the scorekeeper. A call that left our team short by one guy, putting us at a complete and unfair disadvantage.

Anyway.

My husband found the "rulebook." (God have mercy on all of us. My husband + the power of The Rule = A pain in the ass of The City League that isn't going away anytime soon, especially if he "takes it to the newspaper" as he's threatening to do. Scandalous) The rule that they used against our team IS in the book, HOWEVER, there's an "EXCEPTION" to the rule that clearly shows they were wrong in denying us a 5th player.

He was getting ready to go to a meeting with the city officials earlier (Yes! A meeting! About the game! He's demanding a rematch! Or our money back AND an apology letter written to the kids. My Inner Activist is SO PROUD OF HIM.) when he asked me to look up "Exception" in the dictionary, because, you know, he's going to be all "DO YOU KNOW WHAT AN EXCEPTION MEANS, IDIOTS? NO? WELL LET'S SEE WHAT MR.WEBSTER HAS TO SAY ABOUT IT!"

Me: It says "a situation to which a rule does not apply."

Him: Ohhhhhhh, PERFECT. Repeat that one more time.

Me: a situation to which a rule does not apply.

Him: *writing it down* ...to which a... What? Say it again.

Me: HEAVY SIGH WITH ACCOMPANYING EYEROLLING...a situation to which a rule does not apply.

And then, he actually said these words (Overthinking alert How do you spell "does?"

(This is the point at which I have visions of "drop kicking him".)

Me: OMGAREYOURSERIOUSYOUDON'TKNOWHOWTOSPELLDOES? D-U-Z-Z. That's how you spell does. OMGSERIOUSLYANDHONESTLY.

Him: No need to get smart, I know how to spell it, Ijust wanted to be sure I have it exactly right.

Ahhhhhhh!!!

Posted by Y at August 29, 2006 05:23 PM

Comments

Soc you in the sac is the best phrase ever.

Posted by: RSM at August 29, 2006 05:59 PM

I'm giving him credit for asking. My husband would have been "do you spell does d-u-z?" (or whatever weird way he could come up with) and when I corrected him, he'd stand by his mistake until he died.
I want to "soc him in the sac" on a daily basis.

Posted by: Nina at August 29, 2006 06:18 PM

*runs away protecting sac*

Posted by: Genuine at August 29, 2006 07:22 PM

When I get those violent urges it's usually more of a "stab you in the neck" rather than a "kick you in the sac" but I am thinking the sac method might be so much more satisfying especially since, like Tony, my husband refuses to consider the V. Naturally I have hostility directed in the area of the sac.

Posted by: clickmom at August 29, 2006 07:45 PM

Tony, the city league activist. Go get em' tiger!

Posted by: Nila at August 29, 2006 08:15 PM

You crack me up! I love reading your posts everyday. Honestly, I don't think there is a single woman out there that can say she doesn't relate to you. I love your honesty. You represent all of us. Keep up the great job!

Posted by: Lynda at August 29, 2006 08:23 PM

LOL! "In the most loving way possible..."

Posted by: E :) at August 29, 2006 08:27 PM

I once forgot how to spell "of". Go ahead, try to sound it out. Argh.

Posted by: FlippyO at August 29, 2006 11:11 PM

You SURE they didnt fudge his birthdate and he's actually a VIRGO???

Hey, Im allowed, Im one of Them.

Cuz, I do things like worry about misspelling "aint".

Posted by: Joe P at August 30, 2006 01:50 AM

Y, that's funny. In my ex marriage I felt like ripping my ex husband's sac off and ramming it down his throat. He was the prideful type, the type that had to have the last word, be right all the time, and was too proud to stop and ask for directions when lost.

My new husband is more of the laid back type. However I think all women feel this way sometimes.

On the other hand that's great that he is actually going to soc it to them and their "foul play". Great going Tony!

Posted by: Kristina at August 30, 2006 03:53 AM

At least getting kicked out of the game was NOT IN VAIN!!

*shaking fist*

*doing the running-man to "I've Got the Power!"*

Posted by: culotte at August 30, 2006 06:41 AM

I think you should take the fact that you were kicked out of the game TO THE PAPER. Seriously. A poor innocent mother just trying to watch her child's game peacefully....

Okay, I am laughing too hard to finish.

Posted by: chris at August 30, 2006 07:04 AM