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September 19, 2006
accidnents happen

Tony wanted me to go on a walk with him and the kids tonight. I thought taht was very sweet of him, but I was like "honey, I've had a very rough day in which i wasn'teven allowed to take a damn dump withuot haveing to listen to someone throwing atantrum and I would like to ahve a few mintues to myself to drunk a martini or 3.""

And because I coulnt find the shot glass andbecause I do not know how to marke martinis, I procdeeded to pour a LITTLE too much um, what kind of liquor do you make a margaritai with? haha. Oh, yes. Tiquila! I think I may have over done it with the tquila and am now what some people would call "wastied."

O hman. Pighunters going to be PISSED when he comes home tofind me drunk. Honestly, it was an acciden.t. (Kinda like the first timethqat I got drunk! I was newly married and only 10 years old and tony had bought a bottel of CHampaine for the new years and when he went to get the mail,I opened the bottle and gulped dwon 75% of it in less than 10 mintues. When he came home, he was all "DID YOU SPILLT THSI? pLEASE TELL ME YOU SPILELD THIS!" and I was all "I wish! no! I durnk it! Because I wanted to taset IT! and hahahah LOOK I'M BONING THE CHICKEN AND ALSO? HOLD ME, THE ROOM IS SPINNNIGN!" He was so pissed. HE was like "YOU RUINED OUR NEW YEARS." and I was crying and all "I'M NOT A DURNK! DON'T DIVOFCE ME!" HAHA.) Seirouly though, I just wanted a drink to "unwine and relax."

I need t o learn how ot make margaritias, man.

It's been a very long time since i"Ve had a "drink>" I mean, I drink a glass of wine sometimes, but tewquila? Not so much. Becaues, I care about my liver. I trulydo. YOu should care about your liver too.

(This post will bedeleted by the drunkasshole removal team shortly. enjoy whilt it lasts.)


Posted by Y at September 19, 2006 06:49 PM
Comments

Woooooo! You go, grrrrrrl.

Posted by: Broad at September 19, 2006 07:10 PM

The funnest thing I've read in a loooooooong time. I'm glad I got to read it while it was up!!

Posted by: Paige at September 19, 2006 07:12 PM

lmfao at least ya had fun!!!

Posted by: beth at September 19, 2006 07:17 PM

Please don't EVER delete it. It's too funny.

Posted by: Oh, The Joys at September 19, 2006 07:34 PM

omg. I LOVE ur drunk blogging. it's the bestest.

Posted by: laurie at September 19, 2006 07:34 PM

I'm glad I was able to enjoy it before the removal team got to it!

Drink lots of water before you go to sleep so you don't feel like crap in the morning. ;)

Posted by: Itchy at September 19, 2006 07:48 PM

It's posts like this one that make me want to drink...a lot. hahahahahahahahahaha
The times I do get to drink (not very often) I'm not at home and typing is the last thing on my mind.
I'm so glad I got here before the drunk-removal team whatever got to it!

Posted by: Nina at September 19, 2006 07:51 PM

Whoot! Too funny :^)

Posted by: anne nahm at September 19, 2006 07:51 PM

Wow. You were married AND drinking at 10??!!

You DESERVE a drink! LOL!

Posted by: lipstickface at September 19, 2006 07:53 PM

I think the term "boning the chicken" suits you well, peanut.

Posted by: Dad Gone Mad at September 19, 2006 07:57 PM

I am headed straight for the Grey Goose after I finish typing this comment. Maybe in an hour or two, I too can have a drunk post.

Posted by: Type (little) a at September 19, 2006 08:16 PM

I caught that too lipstickface - "newly married at ten years old". Hmmm. I bet Y is doing the dirty aerobic dancing as we speak, probably a striptease as well, in penance to Tony!

Posted by: danelle at September 19, 2006 08:18 PM

I love it! wheeeeeeeee!

Posted by: shy me at September 19, 2006 08:24 PM

LOL I had to read that "newly married at 10 years old" twice to make sure what I thought I read is what I read. I've accidently gotten drunk like that too and your post is kinda making me want to do it now. LOL You're a riot Y!

Posted by: Cheryl in Missouri at September 19, 2006 08:42 PM

Dude, I was such a boring 10 year old. I wasn't married NOR did I get drunk. My childhood sucked!

Posted by: Melody at September 19, 2006 08:52 PM

Haha! Lush. I'd want a drink too if I was boning a chicken.

Posted by: Rachel at September 19, 2006 08:55 PM


you said 'boning.'

and also, 'tewquila.'

i love you.
probably because i'm drunk too. just not on accident.

Posted by: tiffers at September 19, 2006 09:41 PM

well ... you can TRY to delete it but ... I've saved copies all over the gosh-darned place.

So good luck with that.

Posted by: s@bd at September 19, 2006 09:43 PM

haha! I won't delete it.

But, um, I'm confused. Was I drinking Martinis? Or margaritas?

I'll never make my own margarita again. Ever. NEVER!

Posted by: Y at September 19, 2006 10:11 PM

hahahaha... lol... I actually got drunk @ WORK today which is okay for where I work, but it was funny cuz I was really tipsy for a minute... yeah... apparently my childhood sucked too! I didn't drink 'til I was 18! aww....

Posted by: Charity at September 19, 2006 11:13 PM

One tequila,
Two tequila,
Three tequila,
Floor.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Posted by: gc at September 19, 2006 11:32 PM

Oh, how very envious of you I am. I had the worst day known to mankind yesterday and am kicking myself for not living in California so that we could be next door neighbors and drinking buddies.

Posted by: Brandi at September 20, 2006 03:28 AM

DON'T DELETE!
Please?????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

You just made my awful, stressful week all better again.

THANK YOU!

Too funny.

Posted by: Chrissy at September 20, 2006 04:44 AM

The best part is, if I were to fake writing a post as if I were drunk, it wouldn't hold a candle to this. You are AUTHENTIC! Authentically drunk. Love it.

Posted by: Mom101 at September 20, 2006 05:15 AM

I'm enjoying! I'm enjoying! DON'T DELETE!!! You lush! :P

Posted by: rsm at September 20, 2006 05:16 AM

at first i was reading and thought...holy hell...someone get this girl a some spellcheck...(a little latitude please...it's 8 am...and i'm at work) and then it clicked.
you're hilarious!

Posted by: ali at September 20, 2006 05:18 AM

I was trying to think of something clever to say but all I can think of is hahahahahahahahhaha!

Posted by: Maria at September 20, 2006 05:46 AM

I've copied the post to the special scrapbook that you will get at the Old Bloggers Home when you retire.

Aren't you lucky?


Ha!

Bartender? I'll have what the blogger on the floor is having.

Posted by: ben at September 20, 2006 05:49 AM

I can't believe no one has posted a margarita recipe here yet.

I don't know any, though. Hope you feel okay this a.m. :)

Posted by: kristin at September 20, 2006 06:45 AM

Ah....drunk blogging. Sounds like you had a good "drunkin'" time. "hee hee hee"

*giggling*

Posted by: She at September 20, 2006 06:53 AM

One Tequila
Two to kill ya
three tequilla
FLLLLLLooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrr

Posted by: Pendullum at September 20, 2006 07:03 AM

I was newly married and only 10 years old


your posts are funny, but rarely do i laugh outloud. (no offense) that line had me cracking up!

Posted by: jenny at September 20, 2006 07:06 AM

Hahahahaha! *Accidently* drunk! As in "Whoops! My bad! I'm drunk!"

I am very impressed that you could put together such a coherent post...the typos make it hilarious. :D Enjoy the drunkeness - you deserve it!

Posted by: Scoot at September 20, 2006 07:12 AM

Frozen Margaritas
6-ounce can frozen limeade concentrate
6 ounces tequila
2 ounces triple sec
6 ounces lemon-lime soda
5 cups crushed ice
lime slices
margarita salt
Pour limeade concentrate, tequila, triple sec and soda into large plastic container, and stir to mix. Fill blender with 5 cups crushed ice. Add limeade mixture to ice in blender and blend until slushy. Pour into salt-rimmed Margarita glasses. Garnish with lime slices.

Posted by: Maria at September 20, 2006 07:46 AM

LOL. You are way to funny girl. Last night must have been a Tuesday for drinking, screw waiting for Friday, cause I had a bottle (little one) of wine. All by myself. I am now doing penence of the mind by cleaning and cleaning lol.

Posted by: justme at September 20, 2006 07:54 AM

Whoa ... I had to grab onto something to keep the room from spinning just reading this...congrats on your accidental drunk -- it made for a wicked funny post!

Posted by: wordnerd at September 20, 2006 08:01 AM

love it. made my Wednesday. :-)

Posted by: Dee at September 20, 2006 08:13 AM

I loved how your spelling disintegrated further and further through the post. Hilarious stuff, Y!

Posted by: Sarah at September 20, 2006 08:35 AM

I'm coming over to hold the walls so your room will quit that damn spinning.

Posted by: Anne Glamore at September 20, 2006 08:46 AM

Kinda like the first timethqat I got drunk! I was newly married and only 10 years old

OW MY GOWSH!! Next time lets do a chat-drunk!!

Posted by: Joy at September 20, 2006 08:56 AM

Bwaaaaaaaah, ha ha. That shit was tooooooooo funny!!!

Posted by: Rachel at September 20, 2006 09:25 AM

This post had me freakin' laughing SO LOUD I almost woke up the baby!!!

You are so funny!! What DID the hubby say-- was it more of his ultra-sexy come-ons ?? Be honest Y, you know it was!!
Also? You are making me want to drink right now-- and it isn't even 1pm yet!!!


Oh, and Bens comment cracked me up too-- "um, Bartender?" Hahaha! Funny Ben, very funny!! :)

Posted by: KK at September 20, 2006 09:55 AM

This is one of the best fucking posts ever. And what is a margaritia LOL?

Posted by: Kristen at September 20, 2006 10:53 AM

Holy shit. I read all the time and never comment. But today?? I almost peed myself. That is BY FAR the best drunk writing I have ever seen and coming from me? that is a HUGE compliment seeing as how I'm the biggest lush on the planet.

Posted by: Lizzie P at September 20, 2006 11:11 AM

Drunk blogging at its best. Hope you don't feel this later!!!!

Posted by: Darla at September 20, 2006 11:13 AM

.. I BEG you not to delete this! Good God, but that's awesome- HA!

Posted by: Salena at September 20, 2006 11:23 AM

I'm so glad I got here before the drunkasshole removal team b/c that was some funny shit. LizzieP told me I HAD to come read it, so I did b/c I am her slave, and I'm so glad I did.

Posted by: Silly Hily at September 20, 2006 11:34 AM

Oh my GOD I am laughing so hard right now, and I can so relate to the 'accidental drunks' because I have been there recently. Ooops. :p

You just made my whole day. I really needed to laugh, just now maybe I'd better stop before I go get the kids from school and the other parents wonder what Mama's been smoking....

Posted by: April at September 20, 2006 12:31 PM

"boning the chicken since ..." should be your tagline.

awesome.

Posted by: jenfromboston at September 20, 2006 02:01 PM

Friday is Mary from fireflies and frogs birthday. I am hoping all her friends stop by and wish her happy birthday

Posted by: peggy at September 20, 2006 03:36 PM

Girl,you are TOO FUNNY!!

For the record,this is how you make a KICKASS 'RITA!!....PUT THIS INTO A GLASS W/ICE
2 OUNCES CUERVO(or whatever you prefer)
1 OUNCE GRAND MARNIER(on this I must INSIST!!)
1 FRESH LIME-SQUEEZE OVER GLASS
A SPLASH OF O.J.
SOUR MIX(a little or a lot-whatev!)

Then shake it like a polaroid picture and VOILA!
Pour it into a glass with salt and PACE YOURSELF!!!!

Posted by: Jenny at September 20, 2006 09:00 PM

I'm slinking out of lurkdom because this post is SO FUNNY!! I once made margaritas with a recpie similar to the first one given (minus the lemon lime soda) BUT I put in equal amounts of tequila and sweet & sour - then proceeded to drink the entire pitcher all by myself. WOO HOO! That was the first time I'd ever made my own margaritas (obviously, hence the bad liquor math) and, consequently, my very first hangover! YUK!
Great post! I love your blog!

Posted by: Lisa at September 21, 2006 04:58 AM

LOVE LOVE LOVE MARGARITAS!!

Posted by: Joy at September 21, 2006 05:29 AM

Haaaa! I also love the "posting while drunk" style.

I'm glad you didn't delete this! It totally cracked me up.

Posted by: badgermama at September 24, 2006 09:09 AM

slotmachines slotmachines

Posted by: slotmachines at September 25, 2006 02:25 PM
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About Y
My name is Y, but you can call me "Jesse's girl." I am an Aerobic Dancer and have mastered many moves, but the one I am the most proud of is "The Monkey." I have three kids. ALL FROM THE SAME DAD (Because, did you know someone actually asked me that question?) A 15 year old son, a 11 year old son and a 4 year old daughter who was not planned but who is loved more than words could ever express. I am addicted to Starbucks, reality TV and to getting really good deals through coupons and "club member" savings (Please, respect The Costco Card.) I am extremely competive and if you don't believe me, just ask my husband about the time I sold him out to win a game of Taboo. If you're waiting for the part where I speak of my love for walks on the beach or slow dancing in the rain, you're going to be disappointed because my idea of a good time usually involves things like "burping contests" and "doing The Worm".

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