slam the brakes on the hussy train and step off?!

LMAO

wow

middle schoolers are having babies so I don't think you are overreacting at all.

Tell him to remind her that the student handbook specifies that they not show physical affection at school. (dont they all say that now?)

I always tell my kids to blame me or their dad if they need to. (and their fear of punishment for breaking THE RULES)

Well, it's not like she offered him a blow job.

(did she?)

try zabasearch.com to find Marty.

Aspen is starting to get on my last nerve. Explain this is the type of needy girl he does not need in his life and she probably has a daddy complex. Explain she will grow up and call him at all hours, demanding to know where he is. When she thinks he's not loving her enough, she'll cheat on him and then bring herpes back to the bed where he'll get infested with herpes.

Aspen has herpes. Stay away.

This Aspen hussy has pissed me off not only because she's hitting on your young and innocent son, but because Aspen was one of our top choices for a name for our daughter (due in Jan). Now I can't use it because it will remind me of some slutty 4th grader!

OMG you so make me laugh!!

I have to say when I was nine, there was a hole thing in my class at school about who was who's boyfriend. It was a prestigious thing to have a boyfriend (as long as you chose carefully haha). I think it's soooo cute that Ethan showed you the note. But I don't blame you for your response either, knowing how I turned out hehe.

That drunk post yesterday was classic. I only just read it now, but I laughed and laughed. Please don't ever delete it!

xx

Sorry, that was "whole thing" not "hole"....which could be misconstrued as being rather rude so let's not go there.

Note to self: preview, preview, preview!!!

OMG she said 'hole' and I am laughing again....definitely having a mind-in-the-gutter day today. LOL!

haha "hole".

I'm glad that Ethan showed me the note too. I want him to be able to tell me anything, even though he may not get the answer he wants.

And you know, I'm pretty sure Aspen is a nice girl, she just needs to COOL IT NOW.

At least she asked? Last year, in the FIRST grade, our son had a girlfriend. I'm guessing it's the same girl this year, but maybe she's in a different room.
Of course, a couple of days ago, he announced that he wished he was a girl, so I might have other issues to deal with.

ha! they way it works in SK is the girls find the boys they think are cute, tap them on the shoulder and say, "you're my boyfriend"

ah. nice and easy. but hand holding? kissing? i'll die. i'll truly die.

ha! the way it works in senior kindergarten is the girls find the boys they think are cute, tap them on the shoulder and say, "you're my boyfriend"

ah. nice and easy. but hand holding? kissing? i'll die. i'll truly die.

um..yes...somehow managed to post twice...my bad.

Also, Y? Having raised a son who really never talked much in his teen years, so it's too late for me, but you might try opening the conversation with this - "How do you feel about it?" Because he showed it to you in the first place is a GREAT thing, and was seeking your help, but by jumping in and telling him what he should feel and do, you might have missed an opportunity to see where he was with it. He may have been grossed out by it, what would it look like in front of his friends, etc. Or he may have said "me and hussygirl are meeting down music room tomorrow after math". Which is THEN where you tell him that there's no touchy touchy at school!!

I wonder if he's embarassed about it, but doesn't want to be rude to the girl? That's where you say, "well, what should we do about it?", and it goes from there. He gets to be part of the solution, he learns he can come to you, that you'll hear him.

I rarely comment, but this struck a nerve. My kid was sweet and open and came to me with everything... and then suddenly, he didn't. Just couldn't seem to talk to me, around 12 and 13. Part of that was natural, I'm sure, but I KNOW I was guilty of just telling him what to do all the time, and didn't take the time to listen.

Course.... it's a new world parenting today. If I knew then what I do now... he would be able to come to me when he was thinking of divorcing his wife. Instead, he's isolated himself completely, thinking he's spose to tough it out on his own. He doesn't need help, he's FINE.

Sorry. This struck a nerve. I'm not implying you did anything WRONG either - just suggesting to add another element to it. Listen first, THEN lower the hammer. But you might be surprised that he comes up with the solution himself, and that's how we grow self-esteem.

My favorite phrase teaching parenting classes - And THAT, moms and dads, is how we grow self-esteem...

gads, did I just write a freaking book? I'm sorry!

Ms.Shad, I appreciate where you're coming from.

The conversation did involve "how he felt about it", I just didn't want to post that here, a)it would have taken too long b) Well, I had enough guilt about posting the note, (even though, he was totally proud of it and not at all embarassed by it) that I didn't feel comfortable relaying our entire conversation.

I'm thinking "arranged marriages" sound like a good idea.

I don't have any useful advice. I just think it is quite nice that he showed it to you.

Thank God our boys communicate, huh? My 10yo boy had his first kiss at the end of last school year (5th grade), and I almost had a coronary. Backing up, when he was 4 -- FOUR!!!!!!!!!! -- our nextdoor neighbor slut girl who was 6 taught him to French Kiss. Nice, huh?

And it's not just girls. My then-not-quite-7yo daughter had an 11yo boy -- ELEVEN!!!!!!! -- ask her to "make out" recently. Thank GOD she told him no, that she was "way too young."

I'm thinking I'm not going to live to see 39, at the rate they're going. It's almost more than my little heart can handle.

^^^OK, that didn't make any sense.

I should say he had his first kiss that he AGREED to (end of last school year).... versus the one when he was 4 from the neighbor girl that was forced upon him -- and scared him to DEATH.

(I don't count that one!)

Um, I had a "boyfriend" in kindergarten. Marty Vasquez. He was the cutest little thing, and the only picture I have of him now was from our 6th birthday party (I'm a twin, hence the "our" part of that), in which he was wearing shorts with suspenders and a bow tie. So. Fucking. Dorky. But so cute!!

For the record, having a "boyfriend" in kindergarten did not turn me into a hussy. I was afraid of penises until I was about 19, didn't sleep with a guy until I was 18 (and it sucked), and am now engaged (to the best man EVER) for the first time at age 32. Just 'cuz I wanted to hold hands with boys (which, believe me, was all I wasn't afraid to do until I was in high school) didn't mean I was a hussy. I just really, really liked boys. But I didn't wanna kiss them! Bleh! Just the thought completely freaked me out back then! (I remember when I was in junior high consciously breaking up with boys after about 2 weeks of "going out" because I knew they'd want to kiss me eventually, and I wasn't ready for it yet.) Not that you're seriously calling this little girl a hussy, mind you. Just giving you my perspective. I don't have children, by the way, so my advice and perspective could be construed as being a bit misguided. Especially since I was a dork when I was 8 - 15 years old.

But I love the way you suggested that he tell her he'll be her good friend and protect her. That sounds very sweet and very fitting to the age they're at!

I have a 10 year old daughter, i can say as a woman/mom/wife etc. I have taught my daughter to be strong and to have her own opinion and to speak up. Things today arent like they were in the 80's....lol I need her to be confident in todays crappy world. I need her to take the first step.......... although i dont know about her taking the first step with BOYS!

But, in defense of Aspen, (Cool name) she is thinking for herself and she has a crush on your handsome boy! This is and was to be expected!! Maybe not in fourth grade, but again, kids today are way different. (We have a 13 year old neighbor who looks to be at least 17-19............. boobs, butt and all!!)

Either way, I think (Just my little ole opinion) that her asking to hold hands with him is sweet....... and thank god that this is all she really knows to do. Even the kissing episode was prolly more of a " 2 girls being silly and daring one another" thing but i think the whole holding hands thing isnt so bad.

Do I say "thing" alot?

Now- again, as the mother of a 12 year old also. I am screaming.. Boys? What boys? Boys dont exist.oh no ma'am. There will be NO talk of boys in this home! School-school-school---!!!! lol (Im not that bad- but i basically tell her. Nope, your too young!)

Oh, who the hell knows what i was originally trying to say. I just thought the damn note was cute and I liked the name Aspen.........

But boy-o-boy ma.........
You got good lookin' boys so this is just the start of it! The Hussy train will be cruisin through your neighborhood before your ready anyway!

Choo-choo!
Just imagine being the mom of 3 girls.........

You're right, I'm not seriously calling her "a hussy". It's just my way of injecting a little humor into the situation. I actually like Aspen. The girl is funny and OBVIOUSLY has good taste.

I remember that third and fourth grade was when the crushes really started happening and the notes that said "do you like me, circle yes or no" started getting passed. It was all very sweet and innocent.

That note is too adorable. What is even more adorable is that he showed it to you. I always had a strong sense of privacy when I was little, and I could never see myself showing a note like that to my mom.

I know what you mean Y. One of my little cousins came home from first grade and announced she had a boyfriend. Cute, right? Except it's KENTUCKY. There is a reason for the stereotype.

I remember reading about these little four year olds who lived next door to each other, being caught with their pants down and lying on top of each other. Obviously they've been peeking in the keyhole at home.

I'm not usually one to point the finger at 'society' or the 'media', but I do think the reason this stuff is happening younger and younger as opposed to when we were kids is because of the hypersexualization of movies/TV/games/etc.

Freaks me out to no end, and mine's only a year old.

Hussy trains need to be DERAILED.

Boy, this got a bit serious, eh? We need another dancing video to remedy. Or possibly a Y recipe margarita! ;>

You never fail to make me laugh.

he should write back:

slam the breaks on The Hussy Train and STEP OFF

OK? Circle Yes or No

My son came home with a similar note in the 4th grade but it asked instead, "Will you be my boyfriend? Circle: Yes/ No" And apparently, he circled Yes. About two weeks later he said, "Oh Mom, by the way, I broke up with (brazen hussy)." And when I asked why, he answered, "Geeze, Mom. All she ever wanted to do was TALK and TALK and TALK. Some days? I just wanted to play kickball." Then, in a conspiratorial tone he said, "It turns out, that it's way more fun to SAY you have a girlfriend than to HAVE a girlfriend."

I'm beginning to be glad that it was the 'oldn days' when I was raising up my kid proper. We started losing control when the boys jeans hung down low enough to see their boxers. Boxers had to match shirts or shoes.

Oh, man. My husband HATES that. Just last night, he yelled out at one of my son's friends "YOUR PANTS ARE FALLING OFF, PULL THEM UP OR GO HOME AND GET A BELT!"

Haha! My son is in first grade and claims to have 4 girlfriends, one of which asked him to go behind the bushes and kiss her. I told him, no going behind the bushes and no kissing until he was 40. My daughter that's in kindergarten says she has a boyfriend. When I asked her what that meant she said that he's a boy and he's her friend. I seriously almost had a coronary over that one.

Hi - maybe I'm alone in my clear memory of this, but I can recall kids having boyfriends and girlfriends all through elementary school...and I'm 36, so this would have been the 70s. Ages ago. Ahem.

Anyway, they'd hold hands and/or sit together at lunch, and I even saw a few mock wedding ceremonies during recess in my day, where the "bride" and "groom" would kiss at the ceremony's completion.

Anyway, I understand your reaction as a parent, but I don't think this is one of those "kids today..." situations; I think it's human nature.

Yeah, true.

the "kids these days" was said in jest. You know, mocking myself for turning into an old lady.

However, I really can't relate to wanting to kiss boys and hold their hands at 9 years old. I still thought boys were dirty, cootie infested creatures at that age.

Perhaps that had everything to do with me being a tomboy.

It used to be that you had to protect and warn your daughters about what boys wanted--seems tables are turned and it's the boys that need protection from so many girls unsure of how to be a female. Where are all these girls that need a man to give them confidence coming from?

I also advised my 10 year old to say gracefully "no" when a girl asked him to hold hands with her. He spent the rest of middle school labeled and called GAY. grooaannn...

So, from Handball to the Aerobic Dance Floor. You're a competitive little monkey, aren't you?

Why I am indeed very interested in the Aspen situation, and think your post was hysterical and the suggestions people have made are good ones ....... I cannot be the only person who is dying to know if Marty Hitchcock is out there and can he be found?!?! And do you still have the Bad News Bears Art and can it be scanned and shared??? You SO make me laugh!

Geez. When we were kids, if we thought of the boys at all it was to through acorns at them.

I have an 8 year old girl who is just killing me right now with the crushes. I keep telling her to forget it, she's too young and boys are yucky! Germs! Ew! And they eat bugs (anything to dissuade her).

So far the best I've been able to do is to get her to stop saying which boys are 'hott'. *gag*

Sounds suspiciously like, "Woah, slow down the ho train missy, cause I'm gettin' off and not on you."

haha.

And really, it's just hand holding. But I guess we should wait until it happens to me. Which it of course, never will.

Nah, you were safe with the "hussy" call. I have a little nephew and I would be tempted to push the little girl that threw herself at him. I'm just sayin'

Melly! JAJAJA

Maybe I was just testing to see if you still read my blog.

(HAHA CLEPT-HO)

Just last week, my 10 yr. old was jelus because his best friend had a "date" with a girl at a coffee shop-I'm not sure if this 'date' really happened, but I was surprised since his mom is my bff, and I doubt seriously if she'd encourage "dating" at 10. WTF? It's like high school stuff going on in 5th grade! I remember in 4th grade, there were some girls who would grab boys' asses and I was all like, "Why?" Didn't. Get. It. at all. They have enough time for that later on! Also? Husband freaks out if kids have sagging pants and won't allow backwards or sideways hats in our house either...

I'm way more amused by the fact that you got married and drunk at the age of 10 than anything else. ;-)

I think I started thinking about boys in fourth grade, but when we would "go out" with a boy, it only meant they had our phone number and would call a couple of times a week. We's sit on the phone with nothing to say and listen to the other one breathing. Then, one of us would ask, "Hey, what are you watching on TV?" Boring. After about a month of this, we'd break up and "go out" with someone else. The first time one of my friends held hands with her "going out" partner was in 6th grade and my girlfriends and I met the guys we were all going out with (who were all a group of friends too) at the movies. I can remember the other girls making a big deal about the hand holding. The whispering nearly drowned out the movie.

But yeah, times are different now. It keeps starting younger and younger. *shaking head in wonderment and dismay*

That note is adorable!

I totally had crushes ever since I was pretty young (boy crazy, what can I say), but was super super shy, so would never have written a note like Aspen did. I personally think the handholding is cute and not necessarily inappropriate at that age, but at the same time, I'd be terrified of what happened next. I remember being at a dance in when I was in fifth grade (why we had dances that young, I do not know) and hearing that these two fourth graders were french kissing in the hallway! I was kind of appalled even back then.

Oh, and all the hallway making out (not that I participated in) back in middle school? Oh my god, if I was a middle school teacher back then I would have freaked the hell out about seeing that! Eeeew.

(Oh yeah, and if you were married and drunk at 10, perhaps this is a little pot calling the kettle black? Heehee...)

Wow! I'm a little late on this one.

First, and this is not directed at you Y, some of you that are posting on here about 6-11 or whatever girls and calling them little sluts should be ashamed. Those are innocent children you're talking about. The behavior they are presenting is a product of learned behavior. Blame the parents, the media (again the parents control the tube), or blame society. A six year old girl kissing a four year old boy, with tongue, is a bit much, but calling her a slut is just wrong. That's horrible. If he was scared to death and you felt that strongly you should have went to her parents to get to the bottom of it or alert them to the issue.

This is a great post Y and I really think it's neat that he came to you about it. During summer camp this year my son got his first girlfriend and he said all they did was hold hands, he's eleven and the girl is twelve, and I'm glad he came to me. I'm sure you're glad Ethan came to you.

My daughter being six she doesn't even think of things like that, but she does have a crush on my son's friend Chad (who is eleven). I've talked to her about it. She says he's cute and that's about it. I told her that he's too old for her and she realizes that, but crushes are just crushes.

Sigh. I heart you THIS MUCH!!!
(Wanna hold hands?)

I remember boys and girls starting to "like" each other at about 9 or 10 but I was far too goofy and immature for all that. I think you're right to intervene, though. Kids do everything way too early these days.

(and how fricken old do I sound??? Gawd.)

We're dealing with all this, too, and my son is in 5th grade. It's mind boggling, til I remember that in 5th grade my son's current football coach asked me to "go" with him, as in "go steady." I didn't know where he wanted to go so I turned him down!