Today, I found my high school ID card picture. Ahh, the young me. Let it be known that I took My Bangs very seriously. (For the record, that particular day was a Good Bang Day.) I would spend hours on them and if they didn't go exactly the way that I wanted them to go? I would cry.
I remember one time in particular when my bangs wouldn't go the way that I wanted them to. I was at my aunt and uncle's house, getting ready for a Dodger game. I had curled, ratted, sprayed, wet, dried and repeated over and over again. I remember that like it was yesterday. The "upper bangs" were perfect, but the "under bangs" would NOT COOPERATE. My uncle got sick of waiting for me and finally screamed at me to finish and get out of the bathroom or he was going to leave me behind. I walked out of the bathroom with the most Jacked Up Bangs EVER while my aunt and uncle stood in the hall fighting back laughter.
"YES, I'M CRYING!!" I shouted, because deep down inside, I KNEW it was stupid to cry over bangs, but I couldn't stop myself from caring THAT MUCH about My Bangs.
(I also cared "that much" about my eyebrows. I went through a phase in which I would use clear mascara and A BLOWDRYER to "do my brows." )
But you know, this isn't about The Bangs. As hard as it is to believe, the best part of finding that ID card has nothing to do with The Bangs. The best part is what is written on the back.
On the very day that picture was taken, I had partaken in my first "kiss with tongue." (Ok, my first kiss period. But, man, was there tongue.) It was with a boy that I had loved from afar for a very long time. His name was John and he was so fine. John was popular with the ladies, especially with The Mexican Ladies. I would secretly lust after him every lunch time as I watched him sit on top of the lunch tables. I never thought he'd give me the time of day, with him being so popular and all.
Lucky for me, we had classes across from each other and one day, he "noticed" me because I was talking to a friend of his. He acted like an asshole (why wouldn't he? He could have ANY GIRL HE WANTED!) and of course, instead of being mad, I was like "OMG. HE TALKED TO ME!"
He started talking to me everyday and each time, was less of an asshole. He started complimenting me, mostly on how beautiful my hair was, and I totally fell in love.
He started walking me to class everyday and OMG! HE WOULD HOLD MY HAND! I knew he wanted to kiss me, but I had never kissed a boy before, and I was T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D. Terrified because I knew that there would be tongue involved and I had no idea how that worked. Did you just stick the tongue out and touch them together? Was I supposed to wait until he stuck his tongue in my mouth first? And once the tongue was in my mouth, what was I supposed to do with it?
I would stay awake at night worrying about the stupid tongue.
The day that picture was taken, John walked me to my history class. As I was going to turn to walk away, he leaned in to kiss me. I wanted to run away, because OH MY GOD THE TONGUE! But, I didn't, I leaned in, not sure what to do with my mouth (do I leave it open so he can insert his tongue? Do I leave it closed as if to say NO TONGUES ALLOWED? Do I...) when all of a sudden, JOHNS TONGUE WAS IN MY MOUTH and just as I had feared, I had NO IDEA what to do with it.
It lasted for only a few seconds, because I pulled away and was all "Ok, um, bye!"
I remember feeling dizzy on the way to class and also confused as to why my panties felt wet.
One of my BIGGEST REGRETS in life is actually asking my friend Isabel about the whole "wet panties" thing.
"Hey, Isabel, after John kissed me, my chonis got wet, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"
Apparently, it meant that having John's tongue in my mouth "turned me on" and it also meant that within one hour, the entire school would know that "Y'S GOT WET CHONIES!"
I'm so glad that I took a sharpie to the back of that ID card, otherwise, I may have never remembered that "Senior Picture Day" was the day in which I had my first kiss and also, my first pair of Wet Panties.
This is so funny. I'm in tears from laughing.
I've noticed that you're never afraid of asking about things you don't understand. But, why NOT ask about how the tongue thing worked, and then ask about the wet "chonies"? hahahaha