If you’ve been paying attention, posting has been far and few between here on The Blog. One could assume it is because I am depressed about my weight And Stuff and that may be partially true, but the real reason is that I have been busy trying to figure out a schedule that works with my new job, three kids and one Ever Horny Husband. (Although, can I just tell you how awesome a torn quad can be when a girl wants a break from The Horny? If you too are tired of your significant other always trying to get up “in it”, I suggest you recommend they go play a game of softball without stretching first, cross your fingers and hope for the best!)
I’m not the best Manager of Time, so figuring out a schedule that works for everyone has been a bit of a challenge, but I think I’ve finally figured out the key to making it work.
The Key- Getting up very early in the morning.
Like, vvveeeeerrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy early. The kind of early that hurts.
Also, I think I’m going to enroll G-Unit in part time preschool in the morning. However, I’m not so sure about that just yet. You see, I have tried for the past 3 weeks to take her to toddler story time at the library and 2 minutes after I make it down the stairs, the librarian is all “We need Gabby’s mom to come to the toddler story area” on the loud speaker. And I get up there to find my daughter sobbing because [Dramatic Voice] I don’t LIKE story time, I like My Mommy![/Dramatic Voice.] Some might say that’s all the more reason to put her in preschool, to "severe the umbilical cord" as my husband likes to say.
We’ll see.
I miss writing here if only because I use this space to keep a record of my life and I’ve let a lot of little life moments go by unwritten—Funny things that Gabby has said, proud moments I’ve shared with The Freshman, homework dilemmas with The Middle Child. All moments that I wish I had taken a few minutes to document so as to never forget them.
I think once this month is over, I will finally have this “schedule” thing all figured out and I will have time to once again actively participate in this thing called blogging.
I briefly mentioned a “torn quad” at the beginning of the post and I want to elaborate a little.
PigHunter tore his right quad on Sunday. He thought it would be fun to play a harmless game of softball with some friends, even though I told him I didn’t think it would be a good idea. He’s 42 and hasn’t played sports since high school, that’s right there is a recipe for “injury.” But, he blew my concerns off and played the game anyway.
And not be all I TOLD YOU SO! But, I told you so.
He’s been highly defensive ever since the accident. SO sensitive that he wouldn’t even tell me what the problem was when I noticed he was injured (I got to the game a little late.)
“I’m fine!” he said, whilst limping and gnashing his teeth. “I just forgot to stretch and I think I pulled a muscle.”
I knew it wasn’t just a pulled muscle and tried to convince him to stop playing, but he was all “woman, go sit down, I just need to stretch it out!”
And so he stretched it and kept playing.
(It hurts me to thinking about it.)
I took him to urgent care immediately after the game and they were all “ohhhhh, you tore your quad. Here’s some vicodin and no more sports for you for a while!”
The nurse made a comment about how we start to fall apart as we get older.
That pissed PigHunter off.
“Oh, be quiet!” He snapped. “I’m not old, I’m young! And healthy!”
Aw, someone is a little sensitive about their age.
I couldn’t understand where he was coming from because, dude, it’s a fact of life. We get old, our bodies start falling apart and then we die.
But then, last night, I came across an old picture of PigHunter and suddenly, I got it.
Baby, getting older sucks, but I think you're aging beautifully (which is more than I can say about myself**)
I want you to know that I would take Gimpy Tony over Smooth-legged Tony ANYDAY.
And I'm pretty sure the internet feels the same way.
**THIS is what inspired the "fat" post below. I got my new license in the mail last week and completely lost it. I have the exact same expression on my face, but I look nothing like myself.
I've been thinking a lot about the comments that were left on that post. I appreciate the encouragement you offered and I want you to know that your words did not fall on deaf ears.
I love that old 1980s picture; what are they all doing? Dancing? Well, I mean, except for the girl on the left, who is apparently wallflowering. You gotta love the 80s. And that cameltoe? Well, I don't even know what to say about that. :)
Feel better Tony!!