I ate almost a whole can of chocolate icing last week!

I weighed and I have gained weight for the first time in a while.

:(

Well, I'm ALMOST finished with the tub of chocolate frosting. 3 more spoonfuls and it's GONE!

Today is a new day though, right? RIGHT?

You're not alone in those feelings...but sorry you're feeling them - I feel them all too often - kinda makes you just wanna tell those terrible feelings to go f*** themselves, eh?? (hope you don't mind me f-ing - it just came out!)
Hang in there - I'm addicted to your blog!!
xx

You should dip the banana in the frosting - Duh!

And how often do you ever just want to eat a banana when it's sitting next to the frosting? Me? Never. It's a decision and you will make it again.

Who wants the banana? Never me. Look at your progress and know you can get back on track again. Your still going to dance!!! You are about a billions steps ahead of me right now. So, yes, I will try to think about the children. Right now. And not about me, me, me. (See? A post about you and yet I turned it into being about me. I am so wrong. I know.)

I am so about dipping that banana in the frosting....... would there be any other choice.
Then at least, you have a balance.

Girl- who doesnt eat frosting? But i haft to admit, i thought i was the only 31 year old to actually eat spoonfuls of frosting.

Gawd, i'm so freakin' exited, it aint just me!!!

Thanks Y, you make me feel so accepted!

screw the banana! some days call for ice cream. :)

But chocolate makes you happy. It's been scientifically proven to increase the number of endorphins (happy hormones) racing around your body. Eat the chocolate then think of the kids. They will make you want to set a good example go to the gym or go for a walk.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Everything in moderation - even chocolate!!!!

I sat at home last night all alone and ate cheesy poofs, chocolate chip cookies with fudge stripes on them, a cupcake, a plate of lasagna, and Doritos. All because I was bored. Had their been frosting I would have ate that, too...

And I get jealous all the time of other people. I forget to focus on all the good things I have in my life and only focus on what I don't...and that's just bad. It makes those around me think I don't appreciate them and what they can provide. But we all do it. It's part of being human.

Big hugs. :P

aw c'mon now, what girl hasn't eat a jar of chocolate icing on her period? i think you're excused :)

I've been there, I'm kinda there today. Can I tell you my new secret? Its old really but I just didn't really hear it before. Go for a walk. You'll think, you'll walk, you''ll be angry, you'll walk, you might cry but you just keep on walking until all of that sort of fades to the background and you start feeling better. And when you get home, you might be hungry and you know what? You'll probably choose the banana! Try it?

Compromise, lovey! And don't be so hard on yourself. Smear that frosting on a whole wheat tortilla (liberally smear, as in, at least half the can), then wrap that around a banana. Then you can call it a healthfood snack.

Not to sound like an old gospel-singing Bible-belt belle, BUUUUTTTTT.....

Count your "good thing", list them out. Did you walk from the car to the w-mart? Good, exercise. Did you take Gabby for a stroll around the block. Good deal. Did you drink your water yesterday (albeit with Crystal Lite additives), then you win.

And then call it a "holiday/special day" whatever, and pretend you meant to do whatever.

Guilt causes stress, stress causes increased cortisol, which is the hormone that increases BELLY FAT.

So see, you just need to rationalize it. If you're depressed, your body is trying to fix it through chemicals found in food. (Endorphins in chocolate it appears). So eat dark chocolate. The expensive, good Godiva kind. (Try the Godiva store at the mall- dress up and pretend your shopping for a friend's wedding and you're the official food planner, and you need to sample so you know what to recommend. Ask for the mgr, they'll probably give you free stuff) Fix the hormone probs with food, then exercise to free your mind.

Then make whoopie with the hubby (also good hormones) (this can shorten your cycle by days if you're active enough FYI)

And good luck. And..

Stop. Being. So. Friggin. Hard. On. Yourself.

Nutella's better.
Go get some.

After the cycle's done, you'll pick up again!

I'm still looking for the magic pill that will suddenly make me choose water over wine, oatmeal over chocolate chip cookies, and a salad over 3/4 of a pizza. It's a process, and even when you make progress you still fall down. And, yeah, I totally get like you when I'm on my period. Drink LOTS of water. You'll feel better in a few days. I promise.

i feel the same way today. my good friend is going to SF for 5 days in the summer, and i can't get my husband to watch the kid so that I can get my damn hair cut. and nutella + scotch would be my poison of choice...

Life goes up and down. Up and down. Up and down. It's frustrating, isn't it? Just, whatever you do, never say never. This will pass.

You've gotten through this before, you will get through it again. We still love you. In fact, even if you are fifth in the queue of people updating on my roll? I always check you out first. Would I do that if I thought all the things you think about yourself? No.

And yet, why do we all do this to ourselves?

Your kids are right. You are a fabulous human being. And like all human beings, we have times that are up, and times that are down. Don't beat yourself up for being human.

-H

Yesterday I had French fries, wine and chocolate teddy grahams to make me feel better. So no assive from me on the chocolate frosting. If it works it works and this too shall pass.

Omigod, dude. This - THIS - is what I needed today.

I'm sitting here feeling the same way and feeling that I am small and rotten and cruddy for feeling this way and thinking that no one else ever feels this way because everyone else is smarter/better/less jealous/kinder/bigger than I am.

And then I read you! Delicious you, who is HUMAN, and thank God, because I needed to read about another human today, with small feelings and frosting-eating tendencies, because I was starting to feel even worse.

You have made it all better, just by admitting you're human and thank GOD I'm not alone. Thank you. And I mean it - no snark, no smallness in this whatsoever. I so needed this.

Shit, and when I read that again, I wanted to clear something up: I don't feel better reading this in a mean way, as in "Well, at least I don't feel as lousy as SHE DOES." I mean it in a "Thank GOD, because I was feeling like the only person in the world who isn't PERKY! PERKY! PERKY! all the time and isn't having WONDERFUL! EXCITING! things happening to me."

Instead, I ate a giant greek salad with buttered pita (read: off the wagon and fattening), some dark chocolate, and now I'm going home to get some books on tape and drive around like the giant nerd that I am.

OMG Y I have been in the exact same place as you are for the past few days. I think I ate a whole gallon of ice cream.

Your post put everything I am doing into words, and you know what? I have 3 beautiful kids too and I am going back on the wagon. I am thinking of them, and who I want to be for them. I want my kids to have a mommy who is healthy and vital and I have to step up to the job of getting there and staying there.

Thanks for your honesty. You have inspired me.

just sending a hug [and sorry about the blahblah earlier. i feel stupid and you should have told me to shut the f up...] :)

I have been feeling like I want to be a lemming this week! my oldest is pushing me there!

If you don't know what a lemming is, they are a little furry animal that in cartoons they line up & jump of cliffs to commit suicide. They say things like "Bleek bleek bleek... everything is bleek!"

I'm not usually serious, so get ready.

I think its a control thing. I have felt so out of control of my life, body etc. If I would control what I put in my mouth and when I exercise then the control starts to spill over into the rest of my life. I know that and I love the results but why, oh why, do I continue to reach for the frosting thus sabotaging myself?

I think I am afraid of success. Afraid that if I am successful then something will change. My family? me? I don't know. Totally feeling for you though.

I've been dieting for about a month and I'm depressed because I've only lost 2 lbs and one can only eat so much fake crab meat and applesauce before they BREAK down and buy a BIG MAC COMBO meal, which is what I did today. I 've never even HAD a BIG MAC before today.

It was wonderful. And I don't care that it said 570 calories. I ate the whole thing even though I lied on my blog and said I didn't.

Plus the fries. THE FRIES!!!!!

Sometimes you just have to say "Screw the banana" or "Screw the fake crab meat" and eat the Big Mac or the frosting.

You just have to.

"think about the children" may be, the funniest line I have ever read... here I was, all reading and thinking, "Damn, poor Y, I totally relate (shove Reeses into mouth) it just sucks to be in such a battle with yourself (insert next Reeses)... and then I get to, "think about the children" & I laughed so fucking hard that I dribbled Reeses drool down my shirt!

I empathasize with your feelings, I really do... some days just suck more than others.

I confess....I do usually choose the banana....but don't be jealous, 'cause the pre-menopause pounds are creepin' on anyway! Seems you can't win sometimes no matter how you try!

To honor you, today I had banana bubble tea. Considering it's made with powder and sugar and stuff, I can't really say that it was good for me. But, it did taste like a banana popsicle - you know, the kind that you get in the big box with root beer and lime? Anyway, this comment is kind of meaningless except to say, hang in there. It'll get better. :)

Thank you all so much for making me laugh. I'm so glad most everyone else does what I do too. I would have hurt someone last week if it weren't for the european chocolate my mil sent me. Y. thany you for your honesty, your wit, & sharing your beautiful fam.

I agree with Beverlee--try to go for a walk, you can walk off a lot of things besides calories. It gets you away from the fridge too, or the can of frosting, or whatever you are craving. And hey, put the banana in your pocket and eat it while you're walking. And now that I've given you all this advice, I'd better get my runners on and get out there myself (even though its raining.)

You deserve some time to be a slob and eat whatever the hell you want. You can't be perfect all the time. The key thing is that you still love and consider your children. The love you have for your children, despite all of the difficulties of being a parent and a woman, makes me admire you more than any pair of perky breasts in the world.

Just don't forget that you need to show yourself the same understanding that I'm sure you show your children. You deserve a chance to unwind. Be self-absorbed. Eat all the chocolate frosting in the county (and yes, that is a challenge!)

You'll still be the same brilliant, beautiful woman with the crazy addiction to Aerobic Dance.

More power to you, I say.

I always eat more chocolate when I'm on my period. It's natural. Your period. Chocolate eating. Frosting. Whatever. LOL One thing I do to curb the spontaneous eating is to not have some of those foods in the house. The cravings will come, I'll get pissed off that I don't have what I want to eat in the house, but in the end I'll be too lazy to go out to the store just to get it. Instead, I munch down on whatever I DO have stocked in the house. I'll do damage, but maybe not as much as when I have dangerous foods (chocolate, frosting, whatever).

Perky breastesses*sigh*. These girls haven't been perky since the 90's. Early 90's. But hey- when you think of alllllll the nursing, they have a right to hang low, waving to-n-fro, be thrown over the shoulder, or tied up in a bow.
Sorry...
Anyway- chocolate happens before the "Power Week" and I say kudos to you for going to dance class, for giving yourself the chocolate, for being a GREAT mom, and for being so honest about a struggling week. You rock, Ms Monkey Dance :)

I, too love chocolate when I'm on my period...you know what's good? Peanut butter on a Her*shey bar...damn. Usually peanut butter is my drug of choice, just as bad as chocolate really. I fucking hate Tom Cruise too...egotistical bastard! I saw a headline the other day about him "talking about fatherhood"...WTF?! How long have they had this baby?! I know he has other kids, but that was not the focus of this particular article. I bet his other kids are embarrassed that he's such a side show right now.

I don't have kids but I can totally relate to NOT choosing the banana. I've been trying to lose 10 lbs for two years. Just 10 lbs right? A measly 10 lbs. For whatever reason, I don't stop eating chocolate, I don't get my as$ in gear to exercise, I just submit to my stupid cravings and punish myself later.
I appreciate your honesty in all your entries.

Here is my advice. Eat the chocolate, cram the banana in Mr. Cruise's hoo hoo.

Am de-lurking to say don't be so hard on yourself. You're smart, sweet funny and lovely and a fantastic person, wife and mother. And because of this experience, when your daughter calls and tells you about how she feels like a waste, etc. you'll know just what she means and how to help.
Feel better. I'll be thinking of you!

BTW- I love the new look

I like the new look!:)

Oh man, am I ever there too.

{ Love the new look, by the way. Very nice. }

I'm now going to go eat some chocolate for breakfast.

I hope Mr. Cruise chokes on his placenta sammich.

Hey, love the new format! (But seriously I thought I typed in the wrong URL, because I'm so used to seeing the other way)

This loads quicker too...

Hey Y. I've been reading your blog for some time now and love it. I've attempted this weightwatchers thing about 2-3 times a year for oh about 5 years now :*( I was just wondering on average what you eat every day. I get so bored and I'm in nursing school so it's tuff. I saw that you like the green tea frappacino do you get it with soy? How many points is it? I just see how well you've done and I wish I could do as well as you.. I know you don't think you're doing that great but you are.. Let me in on anything you can.. I'd greatly appreciate it.

So, i hate Tom Cruise too, and i wrote an entire composition notebook (the black marbled ones) full of letters written by fictional people about how shitty he is, collages of him and death, and big needles in Katie Holmes's back. And also Aliens taking over his brain. I mailed it off yesterday, and i hope it makes it to him. It made me feel a lot better about taking my medicine, and also the chance that he may actually rethink, possibly cry. You're beautiful. And without perky boobs, you can't poke anybody's eyes out! ;). we love you!

How about frosting on a banana? Just kidding... sorry you are feeling blue. Don't we always crave the worst crap when during the red flow?

Ooo...I love the colors! So pretty...

Being a WW person myself, a little binging isn't gonna ruin everything. It's the long term that will make the difference. When the relatives are visiting, I go on a salt and sugar rampage myself or just when I am feeling a bit sorry for myself. It makes me feel better. Shopping would make me feel a whole lot more better, and if I were wealthy...it would be my crutch of choice. But...

Take care Y

Love the new design!! Totally adorable and fresh. :-) Feeling better today?

The site looks fabulous! Great color combinations and pretty flowers. I just started taking a web design class and am very much in awe.

On the upside, I love the new template. And a little chocolate frosting never hurt anyone. Plus, dude, YOU CAN DO THE MONKEY. This is, like, the second best thing in the world. (The first is that you have a child who can fart on command.)

Wu-Tang is for the children, yo.

Awesome. I have been lurking a bit but chose this time to say-- completely awesome.

Your reaction was much better than mine at age 7 where i STUCK A STICK into a YELLOW JACKET NEST and then stood there like a dumbass and got stung maybe 2 times before i left.

And by left i mean i ran like a crazy person, screaming and "dodging" (read weaving and panicing while running) the swarm.

I also got stung right on the boob so i was uneven for a bit (and theorized that this was how you got boobs in the first place, a theory dashed by my mother pretty quickly.)

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