Joy Unexpected | Marvel at the Dullness!

July 25, 2006

Deep Thoughts, brought to you by PigHunter and Popular Demand.

I just asked my husband to sit down with me to write his "weekly post."

He stood there, pants half down, hanging around his ankles and said "Southern California Edison, those bastards get you coming and going."

As angry as I am with Edison for my $370 electric bill, I will not allow him to dictate a post to me ABOUT ELECTRICITY.

I mean, I can understand WHY he wants to talk about Edison (his friend at work just got his bill and it was for ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS! ASSHOLES!) but seriously, who wants to read about an electric company giving it to people in the hiney?

No one. That's who.

"Deep dig down inside of yourself and think of a funny story about us, baby. Come on, you can do it."

"A story about us? Like, what?"

(At this point, I'm feeling a bit violent towards him because I do not understand how after 15 years of marriage, he does not have a funny story about "us" to tell The Internet.)

"OH MY GOD?! YOU SERIOUSLY CAN'T THINK OF A STORY ABOUT US?"

Sensing my irritability with him, he quickly thought of a "story" that he wanted to tell. And he's going to tell it to me RIGHT this minute.

(I'm so excited. I hope it is sweet. It's been a while since I've brought The Cheese&trade ! Hopefully he'll deliver with a pretty story about our love!)

(Oh, wait, he says "it's not a story, it's a question. He wants to ask a question. I bet it is about our love! Ready?)

"Is a midnight trip to the grocery store for ice cream that a certain someone was craving deserving of a blowjob? You know, as compensation for the inconvienience?"

Um, whoa. Totally not at all what I was expecting. One would think that I would be devastated by this not at all sweet love story about "us", but because I know the man so well, I'm not. For I know that in his twisted mind , this IS about our love. This was his chance to prove to the internet that he is, indeed, extremely romantic because, like "OMG! I WENT TO GET YOUR ICECREAM AT MIDNIGHT! Now, blow me, woman."

Our love. It is precious.

Posted by Y at July 25, 2006 4:07 PM

Comments

I can almost hear Diana Ross singing right now. You guys are such an inspiration. :P

Posted by: Melody at July 25, 2006 4:44 PM

BWAA HA HA!

Chickie, you always make me laugh.

Posted by: daysgoby at July 25, 2006 5:15 PM

There is a disturbing lack of BUTTSEX in this entry.

Posted by: xtine at July 25, 2006 5:15 PM

If this question were directed at my beloved, the answer would be yes. For that matter, regardless of the question, the answer would be yes. I, on the other hand, the WO-MAN of this relationship, would ask if you were preggers while your hubby performed this task. Because truly, two different answers. Actually, same answer...nope! So there!

I do get ya though, on how this is about the love...mine is much like yours in that regard.

I found your blog a year or so ago via RS-buttsex-M's, and have since been a daily reader. I hope it is okay that I linked to you on my blog? http://accidentalanecdote.blogspot.com/

As always, entertaining!

Posted by: DeannaBanana at July 25, 2006 5:21 PM

A boyfriend once went on a late night ice cream run for me... he was at his house and we were on the phone. When he showed up at the door, I took one look at his package (heh) and said, "Strawberry?!? You got strawberry? Go back and get chocolate!" and shut the door. Amazingly, we are still friends, though I hardly deserve it.

Posted by: Oh, The Joys at July 25, 2006 5:22 PM

That sounds way too familiar.

One evening on our deck, I was thinking loving, gooey thoughts about my husband. As I lovingly reached out to touch his arm, thinking how happy I was to still be with him, 12 years and 2 kids later, he looked at me and farted.

Ahh, married love.

Posted by: Stacey at July 25, 2006 5:23 PM

Yay! That link goes back to me!

Effin electric company assholes. They might as well just knock and piss on your doorstep.

Posted by: RSM at July 25, 2006 5:34 PM

hell yeah it's worth it dude!! just let her eat the ice cream first.

Posted by: jenny lee at July 25, 2006 5:48 PM

You totally just made me pee! Of course, that's not very difficult these days!

-H

Posted by: Hed at July 25, 2006 6:34 PM

It's funny the stuff they remember. Anything having to do with blow jobs of course.

I thought we had it bad with our 250.00 electric bill, but damn girl, 370.00. Sorry, I know how much that hurts.

Posted by: Nila at July 25, 2006 6:43 PM

Going to get ice cream at midnight is deserving of AT LEAST a blowjob.

Posted by: danelle at July 25, 2006 7:22 PM

OMG your hubby cracks me UP! I love reading about you two. You're so married to the right guy. (cheese!) :)

Posted by: Kimberly at July 25, 2006 7:36 PM

That's a man for ya! Letting the romantic side out.

Posted by: Crazedmomof4 at July 25, 2006 8:20 PM

A) I totally understand.

2)* I agreed to go to a Passion Party because you had such a good time.

* I do this all the time without knowing it. I blame Paul Reiser.

Posted by: Melissa at July 25, 2006 8:55 PM

I knew it! If I need a laugh, am feeling down, or just want a "kick in the pants" I can come here, read even just ONE of your posts...with in them I can giggle, and forget if even for a second the life that's around me!

Thank you for that...LOL your husband is a funny one...I miss that, I am a single mom and don't have anything like you have, so "blow me" or not, your a lucky woman!

Posted by: Jenn at July 25, 2006 9:42 PM

That would be the only way I could get my husband to go to the store at midnight to get me ice cream. I'd probably have to actually give him a blow job first, and then he would go get the ice cream.

Posted by: RachelS at July 25, 2006 10:07 PM

Blowjob or not I can't believe your husband is so sweet that he would be willing to go anywhere just for your happiness in the middle of the night. My husband would never do that. Blowjob or not. Your one lucky woman.

Posted by: Denise at July 25, 2006 10:26 PM

It's worth it if the deal is struck before he goes out. And...I'd have the ice-cream *after*.

Posted by: Flippy at July 25, 2006 11:31 PM

Yes, he did deserve a blow job.
Give him one now to make up for not giving him one then.

Posted by: Heatherg at July 26, 2006 5:43 AM

i can't get my damn fiance to stop by the store on his way home from work to pick up something that he specifically requested for dinner. if he actually offered to go to the store in the middle of the night, i'd be all over his shit.

Posted by: ambrosia at July 26, 2006 7:22 AM

Aw, the love... My husband always thinks it's completely acceptable for me to bring him a drink after sex. Whatever dude, you get the wet spot then.

Posted by: Katie at July 26, 2006 8:17 AM

Finally, a post I know a little something about. A blow job for going to get ice cream. He is quite the negotiator. I am in the wrong business. I am going to buy a DQ franchise and live in the back room, so I dont have to go far. She can have her ice cream cake and eat "it" too!

Posted by: Charlie at July 26, 2006 8:25 AM

Oy. Out here it's the GAS company that screws us (because we have more need of heat than of cold). We get our huge-ass bills in the dead of winter, for that extra Scrooge-y goodness.

Posted by: PK at July 26, 2006 9:00 AM

I'm getting all misty-eyed over here.

Posted by: s@bd at July 26, 2006 10:41 AM

I haven't typed this in a long time ...
LMFAO!!!

Posted by: Amy S at July 26, 2006 10:42 AM

Man...I think I owe my hubby a few blow jobs...

If he's just so much in love with you and your happiness is that important that at any random time you want ice cream he goes to get it...blow him. Blow him twice even...ice cream on demand is worth that. ;)

Posted by: Itchy at July 26, 2006 11:51 AM

Well the first husband would never do such a thing. So when i upgraded, I found out this new one is way better and will do things like this all the time. And of course, he gets the appropriate compensation.

Posted by: Julianna at July 26, 2006 12:01 PM

OK, this is just really f-ing funny.

Posted by: Jenn at July 26, 2006 1:27 PM

My husband is a big fan of the subliminal, so he'd be all, "Blowjob I'm thinking that blowjob, maybe? Blowjob since I just got you blowjob ice cream blowjob in the middle of the night blowjob, you might want to blowjob lay down a little lovin' blowjob on the old unit here. Blowjob." Heh.

Posted by: sardogwill at July 27, 2006 10:18 AM