you should at least buy another Daisy Fuentes suit.

Yeah. I'm thinking of buying one in all three colors.

That's a start, right?

You know what makes me feel better, a really good, strong, well-fit bra.
I think you're beautiful just as you are.

-katie

Y, I'm *hardly* one to give advice about losing weight, keeping it off, etc... But, I live in SoCal and we're probably around the same weight. I'm also a SAHM, and about a year ago I decided that I was not going to wear clothes that I hate anymore. I don't care if it was "expensive" or looked cute when I used to wear it to my office. If I haven't worn it in three years, it's out of here. If everytime I put it on, something about it is wrong, or makes me look lumpier, or has a stain (generally, right between my boobs), or is the wrong color, or *whatever* the reason I just can't or don't wear it, it's GONE. Yeah, I might wear a plus size but I want to at least look like a comfortable, reasonably attractive plus size. And while I'm still planning on losing this weight, in the meantime I want to be able to go about my *life* and feel OK about myself. I want to set a good example for my daughters. I want to be able to feel comfortable going somewhere with my moms buddies, and not worried about how I look.

Old Navy online has great women's clothes for cheap - I get all of my basic shirts there. Find a brand of jeans that you love and get a couple of pairs. Fill in the rest at Ross, Kohl's and such.

You are a good person. Don't let this other stuff get in the way of enjoying your life.

Y, I agree with the post above me. I was the same way a size 11/12 all my life until my throyid joined the damn crazy club and I a carried a twins for my friend and then had one of my own, but want to know my secret? I bought clothes that fit that I liked and a kick ass bra because well my knockers where huge and needed to be wrangled up. And then all of sudden I felt good and I felt pretty and then I wanted to eat better and if didn't feel like i was on a diet. I mean I didn't loose a ton of weight, but even though I am a SAHM. I get dressed to shoes everyone morning, but a little make up on and I do it all for me. I take care of myself for me, because as women it is too easy to put us on the last list. I sitll have my days with my daisy suit, today is one of them because I tired and cranky and you can have those, but it is about loving your self, stop rolling your eyes I am not telling to go hug your fat, but at least Love Y because she rocks!!! and go buy some cute shirts that are causal and comfy you will feel better!!!

So I've been reading your blog for a little while (thanks Google Reader Recommendations!), and I wanted to encourage you to watch this one show on Lifetime - How to Look Good Naked. (maybe others have suggested this already, and I'm late to the game). Now, I don't watch anything on Lifetime - I'm not one of "those" women (I'm 26 and single), but his show is AMAZING! I find it highly relaxing. If you have on-demand, I highly suggest you check it out. Episode 2 is about a woman dealing with thyroid problems, so it might be particularly relevant.

If I could, I would come over right now, bring some tea and force you to watch the show with me. I REALLY think the show will help you feel better.

Good luck m'dear.

[back to lurking]

In 3 days we are moving, again...3rd time in 7 months, I actually did, at last, throw all the skinny clothes into a black sack and take them to the charity shop. I just couldn't pack them and unpack them one more bloody time.
I wish I had something to say ( excpet that is a very lovely looking suit) I'm right there with you. You're a bit glorious if you ask me.

I say that its important to buy yourself a few things in the size you are now, because you really do feel better when you have something nice on, and it could help. I won't ever get rid of my skinny jeans, every year I tell myself it will happen and every year it doesn't. But 6yrs later I still have them, so I'm with you on that, but I do think you deserve to buy yourself something pretty, to help you feel good.

I had a trainer who told me that the very best way to stay motivated when shedding weight is to feel good about yourself and that means wearing clothes that are fashionable and fit properly... he was a total tool, but that was invaluable advice.

Go get yourself some cute stuff from Tarjay and pay no attention to the size... hell, I cut the tags out of everything I own!

It does look reallty f-ing comfy! Too bad we can't get them here in Canada :( Oh well. I only have one pair of stretchy tummy control jeans that fit me, and I wear them so often I wonder when they're going to get up and walk away on their own.

You've inspired me to go home and put on my Old Navy velour sweatsuit. The one that I accidentally got bleach on, so I just marked the bleach spot with a black sharpie. Because I am a genius. But, it's also the one that doesn't come past my ankles. Because I am a giant.

I'm the same way - I have tons of skinny clohtes that I refuse to get rid of, but I also dumped all my fat clothes. Since I work in an office, I had to buy some new ones, but I keep rotating the same stuff over and over because I don't want to buy more.

I've always experienced Murphy's Law when it comes to throwing out clothes-I throw out the fat clothes and I gain all the weight back. I throw out the skinny clothes and I lose a bunch of weight.

Really sound advice, right there. You're welcome.

I understand where you are coming from. I was super skinny all my life with no effort - til I had a baby. I'm still 13 pounds over my pre-preggers weight three years later. I know it isn't as extreme a case as you, and I know you have health issues. But I think the feelings are the same.

That said, I threw out ALL MY SKINNY CLOTHES this fall. It was truly liberating. You are a beautiful woman, a real person. You deserve to not have those clothes taunting you.

I hope this comes across the way I want it to. I think you are so talented and honest and real. I wish I could help make you feel better.

I work three outfits and some how manage to go to work five days a week. I think it is on par w/ the miracle of the loaves and fishes.

Dude, you are rocking the fuentes out of that outfit. I think you look hot.

This is my advice. (You were asking for my advice, weren't you?) Keep a few your skinny clothes, or all of them if you want. (Once you lose weight, you'll want to buy new clothes, though. Right?) they'll give you something to measure your success by, then go out, and as painful as it is, shop until you find one fantastic pair of jeans that fits you right now and makes you feel good. You deserve to feel good. Tell yourself when you shrink out of those expensive jeans you'll bless some other woman by giving those fabulous jeans to her. Oh, and get a cute top that shows your cleavage.

You're beautiful, ya know!

It's hard to let go of old clothes, especially the ones in smaller sizes! I still have a dress from college, before I put on thirty pounds. Even though I don't know that I will ever fit into it again, it's still hanging in my closet.

I think that you should treat yourself to a couple of outfits that fit you well and that you feel beautiful in. You can always take them in if (when!) you get smaller.

I finally cleaned my closet out of the skinny clothes from 1997. I realized I thought seeing those skinny clothes in there was making me feel good (hey, I once wore and Ally McBeal miniskirtsuit!)

But it was really making me feel bad (like, hey! All my clothes said 'goodmorning, fatass! We don't fit you!" when I opened the door to get dressed.)

It was freaky to get rid of them, but it was also good. It is good to live in the present and not have some kind of multiple personality closet for people who do not currently exist. Also, my clothes shopping Karma got a lot better somehow.

I started reading your blog just a couple weeks ago and I keep coming back because you fascinate me! I have wondered if you are really my subconscious blogging without my knowledge. I have maybe 2 outifts that I wear every day and a closet full of clothes to fit every girl from size 6-16 - everyone but myself!!! You rock. and you also are inspiring me to open my eyes and look at myself. thanks !

nothing wrong with daisy velour suits! i own them in brown, pink and black.

i just got rid of all my size 5-10 clothes and kept my size 12's because, dude! i will fit in them one day. hopefully!

Dude. When your one outfit makes you cry, it's time to shop. Even if it IS comfortable.
WE all think you deserve something new that you feel good about wearing. Even if you only wear it for a few months.

Oh honey. I'm in the same boat right now. I have to buy a dress for a wedding next month and so help me god I want it to be a size 12, not a 14. But I realized that I have to dress THIS body, not the one I may or may not have in four weeks. And I hate it. I've avoided buying new things for months because I don't want to be this size.

You are not alone. And maybe I need a Daisy track suit.

Yes, you deserve another couple outfits. Washing and wearing that same one every day means it's going to wear out at some point.

A fewe ideas that might make getting rid of the "skinny clothes" more palatable:

- Sell them on E-bay! Then you'll have cash for buying clothes that fit, which will take the sting out of spending money when/if money is tight.

- Even if you do end up losing the weight, remember that styles change. Whatever you wore back then just isn't going to look right on you again. Necklines, trim, colors, everything changes. So for anyone who's saving those old clothes because they yo-yo and expect they'll be that size again, know that just because you can wear that size again, doesn't mean you should.

- Check out second-hand stores (Goodwill, Arc, Salvation Army, Savers...). I know it might sound weird or icky to be wearing someone else's cast-offs, but they can't sell that stuff unless it's clean and in good condition. Some of it has never been worn, and just sat around until the owner decided to get rid of it. Plus, you can get several outfits for cheap, and not feel guilty about getting rid of them when the time comes.

If it's any consolation, it's a really great outfit! And who doesn't like Daisy Fuentes?
Maybe you could get something else and just chalk it up to being your thyroid issue - and try submitting it as a claim to the insurance company.
I have a box of skinny clothes too - it has moved with me 3 times. They will never fit me, but throwing them out means defeat. I get it.

Ok- you may not even read this comment but here goes..
Sell all your "skinny" clothes on ebay. Get some cash for 'em. Chuck out or donate whatever you can't unload. Then, take your bad self to Kohls (ir whatever store you want) and buy more clothes that fit!

i'm with katie. start with well fitting, supportive underwear and then work your way out. you'll feel alot better about bigger clothes if you have well fitting bras and undies. things will fit ALOT better and you'll feel more comfortable (not to mention the fact that i think you will look fab)

was going to recommend the Carson Kressley show but I see someone beat me to it. I normally can't stand him, but the approach is remarkable. you have to accept yourself and realize that your self-perception is a hundred times worse than what anyone else will or does think of you. It's all about a good bra and clothes that fit properly and highlight your best features. check it out.

Chuck some stuff out.
Buy something nice. Even if it is big.
It will make you feel better.
I made my dh buy me some new bits and pieces and I feel pretty again.
Then I threw out (donated) a bunch of my stuff that I ain't gonna wear....out of style etc.

I only kept some of the pretty dresses I had from yesteryear when we actually went out.

Weight loss is a mental thing. I ain't ready for full on dieting....but i think feeling good about myself is a start to avoid the emotional eating.

Ok, so...my mother started dressing like a tent when she put on a lot of weight with her las pregnancy. 20.years.ago. Growing up we knew our mom had no pride in her appearance, she was always trying to cover up and just made herself look 2x as big and it was just SO SAD. So for her birthday we bought her a makeover and an outfit from Lane Bryant. So, GO to Lane Bryant. Go to the sale rack. Buy something you look HOT in and be happy. Do not make your children all sad-cheeks because mommy hates her body! No! Get something nice! It'll help, I promise. Plus then hen you do lose the weight people will go "Wow! You have lost weight! you look fantastic!" rather than "Did you buy new clothes?" ;p

I love you guys. Can you come over and help me clean out my closet? And maybe go shopping?

I'm thinking as soon as you get rid of it all and buy new stuff, you WON'T fit into it because you will have lost weight. So...if it takes doing that to fall into another Murphy's Law, then ga head girl. That's an inconvenience you want!

Oh, you are so not alone. I have such gorgeous clothes in sizes 8, 10 and 12. More clothes in 14 and 16. Currently I'm rotating between 3 pairs of sweatpants (from Walmart!!!) and a pair of maternity jeans (thank God I'm actually pregnant.... although I'm just in the "yes, I'm pregnant but just look fat stage.) I can't tell you when I wore any of the clothes that were under a size 16. But I can't bare to part with the skinny clothes.

Y -
I think you are rocking the daisy sweats.
I agree with the others: buy yourself some cool jeans that fit great. Just one or two pairs. The darker washes look especially slimming & hip. When you get where you want to be, give them to a charity so another woman can wear them.
On top, a couple of nice, comfortable tshirts and some fab earrings to show off your hair.
You will get there. You will. But you need a little sumthin-sumthin to make you feel good and look good as you set out on your way.

Y, I carried around a Rubbermaid container filled with my "bootylicious days" clothes for almost 4 yrs! Trust me, I did myself more harm my sitting around denying myself a nice outfit. I think the more you focus on the negative you will not be able to focus on your goal of losing weight again.
I'm 28 yrs. old and suffer from adult acne.. I hate it!! It's soo bad I can't go one day without make up. When I have a Mt. Everest on my face I sing to myself that line from Jose Vander's song, "Little Love Song"..."You look delicious, like a really juicy peach!" and it's silly but it makes me laugh and I immediately focus on something funny and positive and I know if I keep this is up and not stress on the acne, it'll heal ;)

I totally understand what you are going through! I agree with what the other posters say, however, I am with you (I do have a few pairs of pants at this writing that somewhat fit) I am NOT going to buy anymore clothes until they are smaller, I was on the right track with all of what I have getting too large and then the holidays came and working out wasn't so regular and eating not so well, now well they are actually fitting again. If I were you (Kohls is having a great clearance now) get a few outfits but don't go crazy. I have faith in you and you will be back on track!

You are rockin' that sweatsuit. But, I agree with everyone else. If you keep those clothes that don't fit and you open that closet every day you are basically confronted with negative thoughts EVERY DAY. Go buy yourself some great jeans and and a few pretty shirts, you deserve it!

I freaking love how you're rockin' the side ponytail.

(you look sexxy, no matter WHAT you feel like).

I was like you, I refused to buy clothes is "this" size. Then, we bought the daycare and well, I had to look presentable. I have searched for years and years and years for good quality clothes that fit me. You see, I have a really short waist. And, "fat" people's clothes tend to have the longest straddle in the entire world. And, I have no waist. For instance, even when I was thinner, my hips and my waist measured within 2 inches of one another. Making for the "man-body".

Anyway, I wear men's Levi's in a certain number (550 relaxed fit) and they fit because I am built like a man, short waist, hips and waist nearly the same size (I can see Oprah rolling over now). Anyway......in search of some casual-dressy clothes. You know, not the kind that you wear to a big office job, but not the kind my teachers wear either.

And, I searched and I searched, the waist/hips and short waist issue being the biggest problems. And, finally, I found a store that carries Juniors plus. You know how all the teenagers are wearing their pants low-rider style. Well, the juniors plus makes them for over-weight teenagers AND I happen to be able to wear them. Girlfriend, I would never buy clothes in the size I need now because they were big and they fit so silly. Now, since I've found this grand and wonderful "junior plus" I actually like going in this store and grabbing all the pants and shirts I can find.

I'm 39, too old to wear clothes for teenagers but these are really modest, just low riders. Then, I find my shirts in the real adult clothes. I hated shopping for clothes and going anywhere that required me to wear something besides my nylon Nike pants and a t-shirt. See my everyday outfit was those nylon pants and a nylon Nike shirt that I have had forEVER.

Now, I don't mind at all when I get dressed for work and I even get excited on the weekends when we go out just for grocery shopping and out to eat (notice, fat woman does not miss an opportunity to eat), etc...I'm glad to put on my "good clothes" and have rarely worn the nylon suit since last year when I bought the daycare.

When I bought the daycare last April I weighed 195, now I weigh 225. I do have a thyroid issue and a newly diagnosed diabetes issue and I too hope to lose some weight, but honestly, I don't mind getting dressed so much now.

By the way, my family fusses at me because they say I am not coping well with my size and that I'm in denial and blah blah blah because I wont' throw away my thin clothes (they are in storage though, not in my closet where I have to look at them all the time). I do think I am coping better than you though and if you would like to talk sometime, I would LOVE to say I was friends with Y...I mean, I'd love to try to help you with your confidence.

I didn't proof read this, you may have to read between the lines...sorry!

Getting to a point where you can be happy where you are RIGHT NOW is not the same as expecting to stay here RIGHT NOW.

The thing is Y, things are going to change. No matter what. Whether you gain weight, or lose weight, or Daisy goes out of style (as if!) - things are going to change.

But for right NOW... well... that's all you've got.

The only thing is when you lose weight won't you want to buy all new stuff!!! By the way, with Thyroid meds on board alot of this could change. The daisy suit looks good though, you rock it!!

When I joined Weight Watchers last March, I bought a fridge magnet that says, "Miracles happen. Keep the skinny jeans." So I worked hard, lost 30 pounds, and... got unexpectedly pregnant (no less a miracle, but not the one I was going for). I'm not feeling very optimistic about those 30 pounds.

Keep the skinny clothes, but get some new ones you feel sexy in. You're worth it.

what's wrong with the daisy??? it's totally hot :)

i've done the up and down thing too. my closet is full of clothing that range 4 sizes. i keep everything. i'd keep the skinny stuff and buy a few nice sex-ay pieces to wear right now. you can get some relatively inexpensive wardrobe staples. that way, if you do lose weight, you won't feel bad not fitting into them anymore...and if you don't lose weight and stay where you are (which is 100% fine, btw) you can slowly start adding more pieces to the wardrobe.

want to go shopping together??? :)

You are really a lovely woman. And I don't mean "You have such a pretty face." I mean, dang woman, you don't even know how much you have it going on.

Here's a fun read: Mama Gena's School of the Womanly Arts by Regena Thomashauer. Check it out. It is good fun and will help you get beyond the f***ing tracksuit.

YOU ARE WORTH JUST AS MUCH SKINNY AS FAT.

Being fat does not make you a bad person.

The reason you won't see that there ARE cute clothes made in size 20 is because you don't like the way you look bigger, and you want to use the excuse that there isn't anything cute in your size, because that is an easier excuse than "I hate myself".

I know that I don't KNOW you, but it is pretty clear that to you fat=terrible. I used to feel that way too, and I'm 264 pounds (highest 278)..I had to quit the self-bashing and love myself even with my pregant looking stomach and cellulite arms. Losing weight is TAKING CARE of yourself..and you wont take care of someone you think is undeserving.

So concentrate on the GOOD things, the worth that you have. You have thyroid issues, a busy household with 3 kids and lots of stuff to worry about...weight happens. It will come off again. Stop PUNISHING yourself.

Avenue.com
Fashionbug.com
SizeAppeal.com
Steve & Barry's has the Bitten line by Sarah Jessica Parker which carries your size and larger. VERY cute and affordable clothes (nothing is over 20 dollars) and I know there are locations in southern california.
Buy yourself some cute clothes, and when you start losing you can get them taken in. :D

Y, I've lost a lot of weight and I've got clothing I'd be thrilled to pass on to you. There isn't a HUGE amount for I wore much of my wardrobe into the ground before I lost weight, and I'm still going down now, so I wear my fat clothing when I'm feeling sickly, but really, I've got a lot of stuff I'd be happy to send off to you. It's not gorgeous for the most part, but geesh, it's better than one freaking velour shlep you wear every single day!

If I were nearer, I would happily go shopping with you. I have 3 pairs of jeans and various tops that fit. I run from 14/18 depending. I have boobs similar to yours and really need a bra that acutally fits, everywhere.

I think your velous suit is cute. Call me crazy.

Y, you rock. And I like that Daisy velour suit. I might get myself one. We can be twins in our Daisy suits together.

But please! Get yourself a few more! If only to save time on laundry.

Wait... Oprah's voice is in your head too? I think that requires further analysis on both our parts.

Oh Miss Y...

I gained over 40lbs two years ago and didn't even realize it. I've never cared what I weigh, I don't even own a scale, but I know how my clothes fit. I've fluctuated 10lbs up or down my whole life, but I was way too aware that my ass had gotten rather large. I was a size 3 in high school and ate whatever I wanted (even though I always thought I was fat). I had the best clothes and had mounds and mounds of them. And slowly they were sorted through every few months and put in my "skinny" box as I started to gain more and more weight. I had a daughter 3 1/2 years ago, at the age of 23, and kind of "let myself go" weightwise afterwards because I figured nursing and chasing after a toddler woud make me skinny again. It so didn't. Then about when I peaked and was the biggest ever I decided to try a few things. First, I decided to be happy, no matter what my weight. I gave away all of my skinny clothes and bought a new (cheap) wardrobe of clothes that flattered my now very curvy figure. I worked my boobs like a stripper. And then slowly, they started disappearing. The weight started to drop as easily as it was gained. I was doing absolutely nothing different, just didn't focus on trying to lose weight all the time. Soon my new clothes were getting bigger and bigger on me. And I had no old "skinny" clothes to rely on. I literally purged my closet of everything that did not fit. As I started losing weight I started getting rid of whatever didn't fit me, as soon as I realized it. I dropped 45lbs in the last year and now feel like myself again. (Getting off birth control and not eating bacon like it was going out of style helped too).

So I guess this is my advice. Get rid of whatever doesn't fit you, wheter it's too little or too big. Go on a shopping spree and find clothes that flatter your beautiful figure. Work those boobs and don't worry about the size tag. I've found the harder you try the harder it is to lose weight, relaxing about it really does make a difference. I also read that book "The Secret" and that's where my whole outlook on my body image changed. I told myself that I was going to be thin again and that was the end of it, I thought no more about it. Sounds simple, right? LOL. I know it's a battle but the only way I was able to win was by giving up and accepting myself at whatever size I happened to be.

As for finding clothes, you don't have to spend a lot of money to look nice. One of my favorite places to shop, besides Khols of course, is Deb and Dots. They have plus sections but it's the SAME clothes as the regular sizes and they're very reasonably priced. For now, go with the staples of any closet...a pair of nice black pants. You can put any kind of top with black pants and you suddenly look "ready", kwim? I do love the Daisy velour, but you really need more than 1 outfit, you'll never feel better if you wear the same thing every day.

Sorry I'm rambling.... I know my weight issues were nowhere near what you are going through but I wanted to share my story so maybe you could get an idea that it's not all about what you weigh, it's how you feel...and clothes really do make you feel like shit sometimes.

The best of luck,
Yvonne

Y girl your beautiful we can keep telling you that until we're blue in the face but you need to feel it. Thats not going to happen with a closet full of tiny clothes that don't fit honey. I've commented before on my 90 lb weight lost then regain loss and then regain Grrrrrr!! They thought it was a thyroid issue- the tests came back negative, they thought I was depressed put me on lexapro and now I'm 45 lbs heavier! I feel your pain I do but some cute clothes and that extra time it takes to throw on some make up and do your hair really help!

oprah pisses me off.

You need to go buy a pair of jeans and three shirts at the very minimum. Don't get rid of the clothes in your closet. Now that you are on meds. there actually is a good chance that you will get back into those clothes. When I get down about how I look (size 16 here) new clothes always make me feel better!

I think you should pick out your most favorite outfit from your skinny clothes - hold onto that - and get rid of the rest. Then invest in the other Daisy Fuentes suits until you're ready to buy more clothes that fit. I'm nothing if not practical.

So go buy more Daisy! (I refuse to call you fat because I don't think you are) It's not like your chunky because your lazy, you have a medical reason. And now that you are on meds for said condition you will get back in the swing of things. Think positive, wake up every day and say one positive thing you like about yourself, even if it's man I have great eyebrows! LOL

I'd say keep the largest size of your 'skinny' clothes and dump the rest. They're probably not in style anyway. I did that recently and it felt great.
Have a yard sale for the rest and use the money to buy new clothes the size you are in. Not only will you be more comfortable, you'll look better as well. Nothing looks worse on a woman than clothes that are too tight.

I'd say keep the largest size of your 'skinny' clothes and dump the rest. They're probably not in style anyway. I did that recently and it felt great.
Have a yard sale for the rest and use the money to buy new clothes the size you are in. Not only will you be more comfortable, you'll look better as well. Nothing looks worse on a woman than clothes that are too tight.

Have just found your blog and must say I'm enjoying it soooo much! I can totally relate to you!

I don't know what I love more..how you're rocking the suit, the fish lips or the side pony tail you've got happening.

All I know, is you are my blogging IDOL.

Take all those clothes out of your closet and put them in a plastic storage bin or two. Then put those bins out in your garage. Or somewhere. They will be there when you lose weight. Don't worry about it right now. Now, you need to go buy some new clothes. Buy some nice underwear that fits and is pretty, some good jeans and some casual, comfortable tops. Go to Lane Bryant and check their sales - they have great fitting jeans and pretty underwear. Check Target and Kohls and wherever else makes you feel comfortable. There is nothing wrong with buying some more velour sweat suits. There IS something wrong with wearing the same one every day - it is making you depressed and unhappy. There ARE cute clothes in bigger sizes out there - it will take some time and determination to find them. I struggle every time I shop - and so do all the women in the world who are a NORMAL size and not some Hollywood version of what is normal. Good luck.

Dear Y: you and I have the EXACT SAME CLOSET, full of the exact same size clothes. And, we are not buying new clothes for the exact same reason. I feel your pain, girl. Keep the closet full of clothes, hon - say it with me: NEVER LET GO OF THE DREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You? Are adorable. And, might I add, look hot in that picture.

xo,

The WINNER

PS: You changed the tagline; HAAAAA!

I totally understand what you're feeling. I have what I call my "uniform." It's the same outfit every day. I hate hate hate shopping for clothes, so once I found an outfit that I felt comfortable in, I bought 10 of the same shirt, and 10 of the same pants. I always look the same. (Hey, if Andy Warhol could pull it off, so can I!)

Only now, I have a slight problem. These clothes are wearing out. I'm down to 3 shirts and 2 pants. And I can't find either of these brands anymore! And I'm starting to look a little tattered.

So, soon I will be forced into the land of clothes shopping again. And I am DREADING it! I don't even know what size I am. But I know it's a long way from a size Small. (The photo on my blog is Photoshopped by the way, so you don't see my large arse....and there's a reason I'm holding that painting to cover my stomach!) So I feel your pain.

Good luck, Y! I suggest you buy as many of those sweat suits as you can. That's totally what I would do!

I LUVRE your fish lips and 80s hairstyle.

I think a few more track suits would make you feel a bit better because it would give you options. I would feel the same way about buying "this size." But, I would get rid of the old clothes. Buying a new wardrobe would be my reward for losing the weight.

Buy yourself a pair of jeans. Baby steps, Y. One pair of jeans. And you don't have to change anything else. Try it and see how it goes.

My closet looks very much like yours. Honestly. I have a long straight jeans skirt in a size 8. Like I am EVER going to get my 42 year old butt in that again. BE REAL. I will shoot for those size 10 jeans though....only 30-40 pounds to go....sigh. We should go shopping together - CANNOT go with skinny size 3 friends. Bitches.

I agree with many who've said buy a couple things you look good in - just a couple - you should feel good about how you look! I just found the BEST fitting jeans ever at Lane Bryant. They have a new fitting system for jeans and I've NEVER found jeans that fit and looked SO good since I outgrew my size 12's. I saw 3 other women trying on those jeans all shapes and sizes and they all looked so good. They aren't too expensive either - about 40ish.
I love the track suit btw - I want one now! :-)

Hey, I feel ya, I'd be hanging onto them, too - but the fact remains, you need some clothes outside of the DF sweats collection - and I'm assuming some closet space for them. So, go buy stuff - this isn't a moral issue. Shit happens. You deserve to feel pretty and to live outside of a pair of sweats.

Also, not that I'm you, but I'd split the difference on the old clothes: chuck some, keep some. That way, you don't box yourself out of the aforementioned and scientifically proven Murphy's Law Weight Loss and you don't have to go broke buying all new stuff when that occurs. That is what they call a win-win.

XO.
DBF.

I held on tight to the "hot bod clothes" for a long time. Until my friend suggested lovingly that by the time I lost the weight I set off to lose, that the styles would be different by the time I reached my goal....we're not talking from togas to bell-bottoms, but you get the gist. When I did reach my goal weight, I bought NEW, FASHIONABLE clothing! Whaa? They no longer sell tapered jeans?? I feel so much better in the new stuff than I ever would've in the old stuff.

Also? Your shirt looks awesome with that lipstick. Will you please share the color and brand? xoxo

My daily outfit is a light blue sweat suit hand me down that I was given when my youngest son was 3 - almost 2 years ago. Turns out the damn thing is a maternity sweat suit! I've worn it so much it is paper thin but I refuse to buy anything else as the weight continues to creep up. If I have to cram myself into what were my "fat jeans" last year, and are now an uncomfortable chore to wear, I immediately come home and rip them off for my sweat suit. Often jeans are unbuttoned while in the car!

I've got that "I don't want to spend money on the ugly plus sizes" and the "I'm going to lose the weight" arguments in my head as well. One day I'll learn to be kind to myself and allow myself to take care of me first and others later. Doesn't every woman deserve a pair of pants that fit?

I have the same thing going on.. I own one pair of pants and two shirts. I had three shirts but one got ripped. I buy a new pair of pants as I lose weight but this has been the way it is for a year, since I had my daughter. I don't really plan for it to change until I fit into my old clothes... but that could be never.

I'm sorry, that totally sucks. I've thrown out both the skinny clothes...and the fat clothes. Which doesn't bode well for me in either direction. Hell, I say let's lose some weight and along the way we'll buy cheap trend shit that falls apart in 3 months from H&M. xo

I'm living the lie...everyone's doing it! We are just being trendy.

My black stretchy pants of choice of Champion. When I went back to get the same pants to expand my repetoire to two pairs they were discontinued. It was a sad day. I think it is the shock of seeing a 2 before another number that has me holding on to hope. I would love that size 18 right now. I have a whole wardrobe in that size, and size 16, and size 12 and finally size 10. Ahhh the size 10.

I went through 'the closet' this weekend and got rid of all the clothes that I'd been hanging on to, as well. It was strangely therapeutic to let them go. Until then, you rock that Daisy Fuentes outfit and don't think twice about it, sister. (said from someone rocking the pink flannel pj's with fish on'em tonight and for awhile!).

At least the sweatsuit looks cute on you. You should buy more in other colors, as I'm sure others have suggested here. I know how you feel; I need to lose 35 pounds, and EVERY day I wear a black tshirt and jeans. It's my uniform, because other colors show my flub like nobody's business.
Anyway, look at how BEAUTIFUL and NEAT your closet and bedroom are. That must make you proud!

I disagree. I find buying jeans to be soooo much harder. I agree about the bra. It makes a world of difference when the girls are up a bit higher.

I'm starting to fall apart here. I'm losing my hair and can not lose weight even while following the diet plan from my doctor that had me losing 40 pounds just months ago. How fast did your tyroid go down hill? I had mine tested 6 months ago and it was fine but I'm really concerned now but don't know if it's the "Y has it so I have to be paranoid about it." kinda thing.

I'm going out to buy myself a comfy suit like yours. I just end up wearing PJ pants everywhere I go. I look crazy but it feels so right!

Hey let's look on the bright side, you're saving a ton of money on clothes, your comfortable and you look good. I've got alot of clothes and I wear the same few things every day too!

Ok I must qualify this comment by saying I am wearing purple pajamas with puffy clouds on them that are the comfort equivalent of the Daisy. Oh Y I want to send you to What Not to Wear. HOLD YOUR HORSES! It's not what you think! It's not that I think you are a disaster! I think you are a beautiful woman who is so hard on yourself. They drilled in my head to dress for the body I have. So I am overweight. I may not love it but I will dress nicely. It makes me feel better about myself. It sounds stupid but I really do have more confidence when I look better. I want Stacy and Clinton to do their magic on you so you will stop being so hard on yourself.

I just did the closet clean out. Mine was identical to yours. I couldn't wear ANYTHING in it. I just live out of the laundry basket. I did baby steps though. First I packed away the skinny clothes. Then I went back a few months later and faced that no I really will never wear those size 8 skirts again. I am a 14 so I kept the 12's. It's not that unrealistic. But I packed them away. The 16 jeans are still in the closet though just in case. It has taken time and it wasn't easy. It is still a work in progress.

In the meantime I have just started making sure I have clothes that fit that are current.

I "get" it. I just wish you could see how beautiful you are.

Just wanted to say thank you for being so honest about your struggle with your weight. More than once, I've read your entries, and ended up with tears running down my cheeks because what you've said has hit so close to home.

Like you, I lost a significant amount of weight (about 70 pounds four years ago), but have gained back the majority of it. I've let that weight gain turn me into a recluse. Well, not totally, but you know what I'm saying. I avoid family functions, go to a neighboring town to shop to avoid seeing people I know, and am eternally grateful that my children are grown so I don't have to be seen at the dreaded school functions in my fat state. Would people think less of me if they see me with the pounds back on? Probably not, but I'm just too ashamed to put myself out there. I wouldn't have any clothes to wear, even if I did. My uniform is two pairs of jeans, just alike, and some plain long sleeved T-shirts.

Deep down, I know I'm worth better treatment than I give myself, yet I struggle with my self-worth on a daily basis. Your posts are very helpful to me, as are the comments from your readers. It means a lot to know I'm not alone. Thank you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable as you post about your journey. You're making a difference, at least in the life of one woman in Kentucky.

I can really relate to this.

Last summer I wore the same pair of shorts every single day. And they were not even cute. I bought them for $7 at Sears. Because, we all know, fat people don't deserve cute shorts, right?

The irony is that now I'm losing the weight and all the *skinny* clothes I kept are so desperately out of style, I need to buy new ones anyway.

Why can't we just love ourselves enough to feel good about ourselves, whatever our size???

I'm a lot heavier than Ms. Fuentes, but I'll tell you that I'm also a yo-yo weight type. I've learned to throw away the clothes that are hugely out of my current size range. They'll be out of style if and when I reach that size again -- even the jeans.
Do it. You'll feel better. Your closets will feel better.

Ah, Y, you are much loved. Everyone has such good advice, and I have nothing to add, except I'll pray for you.

This weight thing is just no fun. I deal with it myself. I've come to the conclusion that I will never be a size 8 again. I'm in my 40s, have two kids, and hate exercise. I may get to a size 10, if I try REAL hard, but the size 8s? They're gone, gone, gone never to return. And that's okay. I want to be healthy and live to see my grandkids, but I don't have to be "thin."

Y, you are beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful!

-H

Those clothes in your closet... they are making you feel bad about yourself. I know it's cliche, but if you feel comfortable in your clothes (regardless of size) you feel better about yourself. All those clothes are doing are taunting you. Get rid of them! When you lose the weight, you will want new clothes anyways! ;-)

I have always kept a box of "keepsake" clothes. I have everything from a t-shirt from high school basketball...to a silk kimono hubby got me overseas...to yes, a pair of those too skinny jeans that are out of style but were my favs. Beyond that I did not keep stuff I could not wear when I got married and started having babies and gained weight.

In 2005 hubby and I got the chance to take a dream trip to Mexico for our 25th. I finally caved in and bought nicer clothes for my size 22-ish body...one year later I hit the South Beach and now I have had to give away and sell all those beautiful clothes I had gotten. I actually felt bead about having to give them up...

Yvonne, you are so hilarious. I love your posts and your humor. But part of me is sad that the funniness comes from pain.

Ditto what everyone is saying. Buy some new stuff. Now that you know it is the thyroid, cut yourself some slack. Once you feel better, you might find that loosing the weight is easier. I know that when I put pressure on myself to loose weight, I gain. But if I try to just let it all go and live my life, I'm happier and thinner.

Easier said than done, of course.

Thank God I am not the only one. I have 2 outfits. One for home and one for work. I refuse to go to the next size. Sigh. I know exactly why you don't do it.

Hey girl - just buy a few items to tide you over. Do you ever shop second hand? Well, that's what I have done when I didn't want to spend a bunch on shit I wasn't going to wear for very long. Who cares where it comes from? Plus, you don't mind throwing it out later on. Oh, and on the Daisy Fuentes suit - I am all about the black velour outfits. Mostly, the pants. I call them cozy pants and I have several pair - in several sizes, for that matter! Just take care of yourself - you'll lose the weight when you are ready to lose it. You'll make the decision one day and it will begin. Have faith.

You are gorgeous. Who the hell cares what size clothes you wear? Find something (else) that you like and get on with it.

All the way down here at the bottom of the comments... I have to say I agree with what most everyone above me has said: get some new clothes - even one or two new outfits - some nicely-fitting undergarments, keep or sell or donate the clothes in your closet (I would keep the ones you really, really like and be rid of the rest), and try to understand what a truly lovely woman you are. Like Suebob said - you have so much going on!

I totally get where you are coming from - I have three pairs of jeans that I rotate, and a handful of tops. I got them in a concession to my current size, so they do fit well, and they did feel good to put on. I'm still stubbornly ONLY wearing these items, though, so I would do well to take my own advice.

At any rate, you totally deserve to feel good about yourself for about a gazillion reasons. Here's to you, kid!

Ah Sweetie.... Pack them up and save them, but put them out of sight so you don't beat yourself up with them every time you look in the closet.

You might very well fit into them again once your meds get regulated and you feel well enough to exercise again. Keeping them will give you hope maybe?

Then go buy yourself a few things, even if they are more of the same sweatsuit in different colors. You have a medical problem....it's no more your fault for gaining weight than it is for people who get cancer, or vision problems, or arthitis. You are a beeyoutiful person and deserve to feel good in your clothes. I bet if you bought a few pretty things you'd feel better about yourself and we all know how life-changing that can be.

A few years ago I developed terrible rosacea. I looked horrible. My face was a red, inflamed, pimply mess. I had about 20 new oozy pimples show up during the course of every single day. I didn't go out of the house unless I really had to. It was awful and I felt so self-conscious. I thought for sure it was all my fault for eating badly or something. I am so good at making myself feel guilty, and my diet wasn't actually that bad. I finially went to a dermo who gave me meds. I didn't use them for 4 more months because I thought it was my fault and if I really ate well it would go away. Well, it didn't. I used the meds and now I look much better. It will never go away but it is more controlled. The moral of the story is you didn't cause this, you don't deserve to feel guilty for it, and you do deserve to feel pretty as you are while you are healing. XOXOXO

Y - you are one gorgeous gal. Get stuff you like, get stuff that fits. Pack up your old stuff - all but one outfit. Leave it in your closet - visible. Accept who/what you are, but don't give up the dream.

ps - you're still gorgeous. Did I mention that? Pig Hunter is a lucky man. I bet he knows it too.

I think other folks said it already: pack enough of the smaller clothes away to have room to function, buy a few more things that fit now.

I hit the local Wal* store for jeans and tops when I have to, and I splurge on one top/sweater that I love from someplace kinda nice. It does wonders to my day-to-day mood that I'm not walking around in clothes that hurt or show every bulge and roll.

You're beautiful and when you're wearing clothes that you like, then it's going to help you see it even if you're having a hard time getting there right now.

Y, you couldn't suppress your beauty if you tried. You are one dynamic chick.

Personally, I think we are all still allowed to rock the velor track suit. How can something THAT FLIPPIN comfortable exist and They tell us, "No. Don't where That!" ?

I still have a pair of jeans from JUNIORFUCKING HIGH SCHOOL...so I know your pain. I don't have Daisy Fuentes...just a big ass Hanes sweatshirt that I live in as soon as I get home.
Maybe we should all get together and have a big bonfire and burn the most unlikely item we will ever wear?? Weenie roast? Call me...!! I'll bring light beer!

Hey...I'm a reader but have never commented. I love your blog and how honest you are! We're definitely dealing with simliar issues right now with the weight...and I don't even have any thyroid problems! BLAH!!!

Do you have a Dots near you? The clothes are inexpensive and they have plus sizes. Most of the styles are kinda... trampy, but I've found a few gems there. They're not gonna last forever, but they will get you through without breaking the bank.

What woman doesn't have several sizes of clothes in her closet? My weight only varies by about 15 lbs, but I swear I have clothes in 4-5 different sizes hanging in two closets. My husband on the other hand just pushes his pants down below his ever expanding and contracting tummy and he''s good to go!

I ditched all my skinny clothes. They really are NOT motivational in any way, shape, or form. In fact, they make me feel worse that I'm not losing the weight. Every time I try them on and say "this time" it's just another fucking let down.

And dude, if I do lose the weight, I DESERVE a new bunch of clothes.

I know I already commented by just wanted to give a bra recommendation because I agree with so many of the comments - bras are KEY in feeling and looking good, especially if you've got jugs like mine. So here goes:

Le Mystere is the brand. Dream Trista is the style I love. Nordstrom sells them - about $60 per pop but I am telling you, girl - totally worth it. Anyway - that is my two cents on bras. The girls with thank you for the support.

When you get skinny again, you aren't going to want to wear OLD skinny clothes. You are going to want to buy cute, new skinny clothes. Get RID of them.
Get yourself two pair of cute jeans. A couple of decent tops to mix and match and you're set. Clothing is pretty cheap and there is no reason to make yourself look like hag. Stop punishing yourself for gaining weight.

I've never read your blog before but I was linked here and oh boy, I almost cried. :( I have a closet full of "fat clothes" that don't fit and wear the same one pair of "really fat" pants every day (I am soo tired of washing them, too!) :(

I have been wearing the same outfit for 48 hours. I find it useful, no need to change into pajamas, just wear the clothes to bed and you are already dressed in the morning. I, too, have been sick. That's my excuse for today. But, truth be told, I'd be wearing these clothes sick or not. They fit, they're comfortable and they're easy. I know where you're coming from.