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February 11, 2008
If I had to title this one, I would title it "As The Thyroid Burns."

Last week I started a higher dose of my thyroid medication (because the dose I was on was ineffective.)

I'm feeling rather frustrated and confused that after a week of taking a higher dose, I feel worse.

I don't know how that's possible, but it's true.

My husband asked me how I was feeling now that my meds were adjusted. I could hear the hope in his tone. "You doing better, baby?" He asked with a smile on his face.

"No." I said, fighting back tears.

I should have lied. I should have said that I feel SO MUCH BETTER! Because, honestly, I don't know how he tolerates me anymore.

I feel as though I owe everyone in my life an apology for being so damn annoying. I really do.

There is so much that I want to say, but it's all so boring and redundant and annoying, so I'll just say that I'm not doing well and I don't know that I'll ever be well again because that's how it feels this very moment. It feels very Soap Opera Serious and I actually want to say things like "The Hash&trade has robbed me of my life. I WANT MY GOD BLEEPING LIFE BACK."

Posted by Y at February 11, 2008 2:03 PM
Comments

No one can blame you for feeling that way. Hugs to you. :-(

Posted by: maya at February 11, 2008 2:49 PM

It can take several weeks to a month or so for the meds to help. Be patient. I know hypo-hell is miserable but you are on your way to getting better!

Posted by: tammy at February 11, 2008 2:58 PM

{{{big hugs}}} to you. my best friend also is hypothyroid & has been thru hell the last 6 months. she is finally starting to feel like something good is happening w/ her meds. you are gonna get there, too, girl. sending you tiny seeds of peace that grow & grow......

Posted by: Sally at February 11, 2008 3:07 PM

So sorry, Y. I had a dream about you last night. I, too, live with thyroid disease and it's really, really difficult to ever get the meds just right. It will take several months to find the right dosage. I do recommend the T3/T4 combination if you can do it. It worked the best for me, but I can't afford it anymore. So it's just plain synthroid for me now and it's still requiring adjustment - 5 years later.

I can pretty much promise you this: There will be great times ahead when your meds are just right! And there will be crappy times ahead when your meds just slightly off.

I have 9 years of this hell under my belt if you ever need another chick to talk to about it.

Posted by: Trixie at February 11, 2008 3:24 PM

does anyone think you are annoying? nope. surely no one could think that. everyone thinks you are amazing... hang in there sweetie pie xxx

Posted by: christine Gill at February 11, 2008 3:31 PM

Badass picture, woman.

So, I've been feeling like you and all your thyroid talk has made me think I should see a doctor. Now, I'm a bit scared to...

I hope you feel better.

No advice. Just good thoughts coming your way.

Posted by: Scout's Honor at February 11, 2008 3:39 PM

maybe now it's too high? I know, so damn annoying. My mom and grandmother are both on thyroid meds; it's frustrating to find the right level, and then have to do it all over again, and again, and again. sorry :(

Posted by: nava at February 11, 2008 3:41 PM

It will get better. I promise. It took me about a year, but it DID get better. Hang in there, and keep pushing your doctor (but remember, give it six weeks between doses to see how you *really* feel)

Posted by: jonniker at February 11, 2008 4:03 PM

I don't think you're annoying. I think you're hurting, and I wish I could help. But I do know you're worth the effort it takes to feel better, and you deserve to be able to complain when you're not feeling good. You are important. *hug*

Posted by: Beth at February 11, 2008 4:03 PM

Oh Y! I hope you get your happy place back...far away from the reaches of the Hash.

Posted by: Kyla at February 11, 2008 4:12 PM

Dont ever give up on yourself, Y.

Posted by: gabby at February 11, 2008 4:13 PM

Hope it starts to get better really soon. You'll be in my thoughts.

Posted by: Susan at February 11, 2008 4:13 PM

I'm so sorry you are feeling bad. Please give your meds more time to get into your system. This may take a few weeks. You WILL feel better.

Posted by: beth at February 11, 2008 4:14 PM

It gets better. It really, truly does get better. It just takes time, frustrating and irritatingly slow time, some patience and a lot of awareness on your part.

I have been struggling with thyroid issues for 7 years. I started out hyperthyroid with a nodule and was medicated (had a miscarriage due to the thyroid stuff), had half my thyroid removed in surgery and then went hypothyroid. During the six weeks after surgery, my doctor had me completely off meds and I truly felt like I had lost my mind. I was beyond tired, irritable and fatigued. Even after I went back on meds to regulate the hypo, it took at least six months for me to "feel normal" again. I look at pictures from those months and I was a puffy faced, tired zombie.

I don't mean to write a book here. I guess I just wanted you to know that it WILL get better. There is hope that your meds will get figured out and your body will come around.

I have also learned that, even after things are somewhat regulated - it's important to be aware of how you are feeling, trust yourself and your feelings and have your labs checked. I have been on the same dose of synthroid for three years, but have been so cold and fatigued lately. I had to really press my doctor to check me, and when we did, she insisted my labs were on the "normal" range. Only when I quizzed her on my past labs and normal variations, did she admit that my labs were way off what they normally were and they were just under the hypo range. They pushed up my meds a bit, but it's been two weeks without much change. Again, it takes time for your body to work it out.

It's crazy how much influence the thyroid has on our physical and mental well being. I always thought I was nuts until I would get my labs back to validate my feelings.

Hang in there - and know you are not alone!

Posted by: Tara at February 11, 2008 4:41 PM

Hey Y, how do you feel worse? Are you more tired? What are you feeling? We care! We want to hear! Try adding in a high potency vitamin b vitamin in the morning. I found that helps too!

Posted by: Dani at February 11, 2008 5:15 PM

Love you, Y. Hang in there girlfriend.

Posted by: Marmite Breath at February 11, 2008 5:43 PM

I just wanted to de-lurk for a moment to give you a hug.

I too am going thru my own brand of seemingly never. ending. hell and sometimes I just need a hug. Especially those times when I just want a train to run me over because I am so sick and tired of feeling this way.

So here is a big ((HUGG)) from some internet idiot lady. Please know that your posts help me tremendously because you are REAL and that I would be willing to bet that NONE of us expect anything other than the real Y.

Posted by: Moxie at February 11, 2008 5:46 PM

I know nothing about thyroid issues.

But I do know I lub you.

xoxo

Posted by: Angella at February 11, 2008 5:50 PM

Lauri grabs Y by the shoulders and shakes her

slap..... snap out of it.... ( going with the soap opera theme here) I am your tell it like it is friend with a great hair( slightly thinning ) & impeccable makeup who also has thyroid issues & shares your pain.

after the slap ( for dramatic purposes) to bring you to your senses... I give you a big hug and dry your tears

It will get better.. I promise....

Posted by: Lauri at February 11, 2008 5:57 PM

STOOPID DAMN hashimotos!! (make sure you whisper hashimotos--you don't want to wake him)

I'll say a little prayer for you and hope you start to feel on the mend really soon.

Did you know that sotomihsah is hashimotos backwards? Hmm? You did? Okay then. The so-toe-MEE-sah sounds even more whisperable.

Posted by: The Over-Thinker at February 11, 2008 6:49 PM

Don't give up. And keep hounding your doctors. I had a friend with a thyroid problem and it took awhile to get everything right.

Posted by: AA at February 11, 2008 7:01 PM

keep writing, even if it feels redundant. nobody here needs or wants you to stop.

Posted by: rebecca at February 11, 2008 7:29 PM

Pighunter and your kids, and us random internet people, LOVE YOU no matter what. Remember that. Just keep working at finding out what will work for you and things will look up.

Plus, you have those giant stripper tah-tahs now, so that's something that should make you smile, right?

Posted by: AMomTwoBoys at February 11, 2008 7:39 PM

Y, I know I repeat others here, but you will not feel better after one week. More like 4. I know it sucks, but it is so...persevere girlie, it'll get better soon. Promise.

Posted by: DeannaBanana at February 11, 2008 7:47 PM

Boring? Never. If I thought you were boring I wouldn't be compulsively clicking here a dozen times each day hoping desperately for new words from you. Wishing you well.

Posted by: Amy the Mom at February 11, 2008 8:06 PM

Thinking of you, and praying things improve soon.
((hugs))

Posted by: Hol at February 11, 2008 8:22 PM

Yes, several weeks or a month, unfortunately, is correct. Then they'll tell you, "still not right we need to readjust! more bloodwork!" etc. Bastids.

LOVE YOU MADLY!!!

Posted by: Wacky Mommy at February 11, 2008 9:34 PM

Hang in there, Y! Yes, indeed, it can take many months and you still may not end up feeling totally normal. I've had Hashimoto's for over 30 years and I feel like crap on the dose I'm on now (and it has become VERY difficult to lose weight - if people tell you the weight just drops off when you take the hormones, don't believe them. There's a lot more to it than that) but if I increase it, I feel even worse. Go figure. Adding T3 might be an option for you if you're not feeling at least a little bit better after 6 months or so.

Things to avoid if you have Hashimoto's:
-caffeine
-soy products
-alcohol

Things to supplement with:
-selenium
-zinc
-bean dip :-)

I find this somewhat crazy site to be really informative

http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/

Posted by: christina at February 11, 2008 11:53 PM

I even love you when you're thinking you are whiney, I can't say a word about the thyroid crap because I haven't been there but I can talk about teenage daughters and gay sons and unmarried children about to have babies...would that help? Maybe lupus scratchy skin? Howabout 3 under 7 year olds, 2 of them are on the autism spectrum?
Maybe not, am no help at all. Could send English chocolate though, now that WOULD help!

Posted by: Helen at February 12, 2008 1:44 AM

I have friends who went through same thing with T-meds. They are good now, but felt like it was going to take a life time to get there. I did that with BP meds until they finally got it right.
Good luck and there IS a LIGHT at the end of the tunnel.

Posted by: Grammice at February 12, 2008 5:33 AM

{{{hugs}}} I've been feeling the same way. I'm going in to the doctor next week for a test to see if I need a higher dose. F***ing thyroid.

Posted by: kristyk at February 12, 2008 5:34 AM

I think it is safe to assume this disease is really getting on your last nervous.

thinking of you.

(p.s. speaking of which, thought of you as I saw the E! Grammy Fashion po-leece wrap up and who was an expert panelist than none other than Ms DAISY FUENTES!! HOLLA!)

Posted by: jen from boston at February 12, 2008 7:42 AM

So sorry to hear that you feel like crap. Hang in there. Sometimes these things take way too much time to figure out. Thinking about you and I send good vibes and healing prayers your way.

Posted by: Marci at February 12, 2008 8:48 AM

Y- I just wanted to know that even though we are strangers.....that I was thinking of you and sending you positive vibes. What you are going through sucks...and it sucks so much more because of what a special, wonderful person you are.

Many many hugs to you...

Posted by: Shelley at February 12, 2008 9:02 AM

thyroid problems do take time (you may slap me for being redundant)...and you will still be there when it is finally regulated.
but...seems to me that your doc is not only insensitive but also condescending and i would get another more compassionate doc on board if at all possible.

Posted by: gwendomama at February 12, 2008 9:16 AM

We love you, Y, no matter what. We may be sad when the postings are infrequent, but then immediately we worry if you are okay. When your heart breaks, ours does too. The Internet is crazy like that, making all these connections among us.

Here's hoping & praying for some relief soon. God knows you deserve it!

Posted by: Andrea at February 12, 2008 9:43 AM

I check your blog every day just to see if you have something new to say. Please continue to write, even if it feels whiny. It's good to get it out. We are all here reading your words because we want to be. Hope you feel better soon.

Posted by: Heidi at February 12, 2008 10:33 AM

Y, I am in the same place right now that you are. The Doc upped my thyroid meds and I feel MORE tired. But, it's only been a week on the newer meds, so I'm holding out hope. That's what I wish for you, hope. Lots of hugs to you!

Posted by: Brandy at February 12, 2008 11:29 AM

I know you need/want instant relief but it takes longer than 1, 2 3 or even4 weeks even and still be normal. They can't adjust you in too big a doses because then they can throw you into having a hyperactive thyroid problem but because of this, it takes awhile to get the cocktail right. In a month, you still don't feel better, let your doc know, he will probably tell you the same thing unfortunately ( I KNow I was all FIX ME NOW!!!!) . I wish I could tell you it was instant relief but it is not. Hang in there!
(hugs!)

Posted by: Kay at February 12, 2008 11:43 AM

Also you have to avoid iron, caffeine and other things within X many hours of taking your medicine. It contradicts it and acts as if you aren't taking anything at all!

Posted by: Kay at February 12, 2008 11:45 AM

I really know from experience what you are feeling. Others are right, hang in there. It takes a while for the meds to adjust...

Posted by: Elizabeth at February 12, 2008 12:46 PM

Sorry about your thyroid problems. That is rough and it seems to take a while before the "right" dose or medication is tweaked just right. Doesn't make you feel any better but you aren't alone in this hell! I don't have thyroid problems but I have lupus and I used to be a size 6 as well. To tell you the truth, I looked like a skeleton at a size 6 and now all I want is to be healthy and eat healthier and I don't even weigh myself anymore because it's sabotage to me. Just love yourself and try to be healthy. *HUGS*

Posted by: Auburn at February 12, 2008 4:50 PM

Oh man, I know that feeling where you're totally holding your shit together, and someone just looks at you kindly, asks you how you are, and you lose it.

I would kick your thyroid's ass if I could. If I were in LA. And if thyroids had asses.

Posted by: Mom101 at February 12, 2008 5:13 PM

It is comforting that someone is going through the same emotions as I am. Although I do not have a thyroid problem, my health has been pitiful this winter and I am literally sick and tired of it. It helps to sound off every once in a while...
Thanks for going public with your frustrations. It makes me feel like it is okay to be frustrated too.

Posted by: Tracey at February 12, 2008 6:02 PM

Poor darling. I don't comment often but I do read. And I think of you! I hope this medication will make you feel better soon. I am so sorry you are feeling bad!

Posted by: Tracy D at February 12, 2008 7:15 PM

Oh, I understand. While I don't have thyroid problems, I'm still the medical mystery as to what's causing all of the, well, pelvic-area pain. It amazes me that my boyfriend still can stand being in the same apartment as me.

I know it's easier than it sounds, but hang in there. I have to believe that there's some light at the end of this *bleeping* tunnel. ;)

Posted by: Kristen at February 15, 2008 7:49 PM

I absolutely hear you on the agony thyroid issues can cause. I've been struggling with hypothyroidism for the past 10 years. Have you read any of Mary Shomon's books on thyroid issues? She also has a website - I believe its thyroid-info dot com. I hope you find something that works soon!

Posted by: Kacey at February 17, 2008 9:00 PM

Yes ma'am. Thyroid sufferer here. Mine was taken out ten years ago because cancer decided set up a shanty town in my thyroid. So I got nothin' but the meds. And it SUCKS IT BIG TIME when they ain't right. As you know.

It also takes a good four to five weeks to feel better once they adjust them. Mine was too low so I was tired and itchy and feeling like I was walking under water. Then they were too high and I was bitchy and irritable and full of rage.

Now (five weeks later) I'm no longer filled with rage, but I'm back on the dose that was too fricking low. So now I am once again tired and itchy and feeling like I am walking under water.

And the fun part is that I take one pill every day and 1.5 on Sundays. That's not enough.

When it was too much and I was rageful, I was taking one pill every day and 2 on Sundays. Now these pills are small. I can't cut it in 3/4s but that's what I think I need on Sundays. Somewhere between half and a full pill.

This makes me think I'm gonna have to take half on Sundays and on the third Sunday of every month I will take a full pill, standing on one leg while I pat my head.

GAH! I hate my (lack of) thyroid! Grr.

Long explanation -- I feel your pain. It sucks.

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About Y
My name is Y, but you can call me "Jesse's girl." I am an Aerobic Dancer and have mastered many moves, but the one I am the most proud of is "The Monkey." I have three kids. ALL FROM THE SAME DAD (Because, did you know someone actually asked me that question?) A 15 year old son, a 11 year old son and a 4 year old daughter who was not planned but who is loved more than words could ever express. I am addicted to Starbucks, reality TV and to getting really good deals through coupons and "club member" savings (Please, respect The Costco Card.) I am extremely competive and if you don't believe me, just ask my husband about the time I sold him out to win a game of Taboo. If you're waiting for the part where I speak of my love for walks on the beach or slow dancing in the rain, you're going to be disappointed because my idea of a good time usually involves things like "burping contests" and "doing The Worm".

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