Yesterday, a a friend asked me how I was doing.
My response?
I'm doing good today. I've just been keeping myself busy, going outside to enjoy the sunshine and soaking up the love of my family.
It's amazing to me how dramatically my spirits lift when I step outside and feel the warmth of the sunshine on my skin.
For too long, I've been dwelling on the fact that my body is at war with itself. I've been dwelling on the fact that I no longer recognize my body in the mirror. I've been dwelling on the fact that I'm going to have to take medication for the rest of my life. I've been dwelling on the fact that I wasn't taken seriously the first time that I knew something was wrong.
Oh! Poor, poor puffy me.
I have made a decision to stop dwelling on the negative, as real as it is, and to start focusing on that which is good and that which is wonderful. I am blessed to have health insurance that allows me to seek treatment for that which is wrong with me. I am blessed to have an imperfect, but wonderful family who continue to love me and support me even though I've not been the most pleasant of people to be around.
I am choosing to seek out that which is beautiful in the world around me. I pay close attention to the little things. The pretty flowers that are blooming around me. The sound of my boys jamming to "Under the Bridge" in the garage. The soft touch of my daughter's hand on my arm as I read her a bedtime story. The unexpected hug from my husband as we pass each other in the hallway.
It is these ordinary, every day moments of my life that give me the strength that I need to keep me from crawling back into bed and dwelling. I grab onto each little moment with both hands and hold it close to my heart.
While this shift in thinking hasn't magically turned my life into one big Chocolate Covered Strawberry, it most definitely has helped me pick myself up off of the tear soaked floor and try to enjoy life again. And for that, I'm grateful because, ALL things considered, I have a pretty sweet life.
In closing, I would like to leave you with some pictures of the absolute funniest thing in my life at the moment.
My daughter attempting to "cross her eyes" and yes, I ask her to do it at least 10 times a day.
I realize you won't find it as funny as I do, but even still.. enjoy.
She is just to beautiful. You guys will have to get heavy artillery to keep the boys away:):):) I know you are going through a tough time right. I don't think anyone can say anything to make it ok. You may be puffy but you are still pretty. You have a beautiful family. It must be hard to take the focus off of this other stuff. Maybe you guys could plan a small vacation?