I'm pretty sure this one is getting deleted as soon as I get home from picking up the boys. "Enjoy" (HAHA) it will it's up.

I just wanted to let you know how much I look forward to your posts. Because... I can so relate! To the embarassment, the happy moments, the sad moments. Thank you so much for sharing these parts of yourself. Seriously! :-)

Well, then I'm DOUBLE glad I got to see it while I had the chance!! LOL.

Last sentence FTW! lolololol Glad I got to see it too!

Hey- that happens to my grandma all the time, only it's big wad of tissue that she has stuffed up her sleeve. They probably thought you had a head cold since you couldn't possibly have known about your period. Right?

I can't tell you that I know what it feels like but I had a kid in my physical education class (I was the teacher) who had her pad fall out one time. She handled it well and I almost died a little for her.

Can't breathe. Laughing too much.

Oh dear GOD. LOL
That beats out my embarrassing moment...me thinks.

I was staying with my Aunt and cousins because my parents were having some 'troubles'. I did not have enough clean underwear one morning, so my Aunt was all "Here. Just wear a pair of Keith's." Uh. Boys underwear? Hm. At the time (I was 9) it beat wearing nothing under my rough new jeans. I figured what the heck. Who was going to see them?? No big deal, right?

That was the day that I got pantsed, in the cafeteria. In front of the entire school.

I wanted to DIE. That started rumors that I wanted to be a boy. It was awful.

Oh - I totally know where you're coming from on this one...

When I was in the 8th grade I started my period at some point during school, but didn't notice until I got home from school and realized I had walked around possibly ALL DAY with a giant blood stain on my pants without ANYONE telling me.

I had great friends back then. Heh.

"THIS RIGHT HERE IS TO WIPE THE TEARS THAT I KNOW WILL FALL AS I LISTEN TO THE WORD OF THE LORD!"

Man, do I love you.

I just feel sad for that young girl you that actually got in trouble for knowing what your period was.

But then, Gabby gets to have a Momma who will talk with her about anything and everything, and openly. So maybe in some weird way it was worth it - for her - does that make sense? I so love how you can put humour to it now.

oh my gosh, i completely adore you. i wish you'd come speak at my church (no head covering required, but you can if you want...)

Something similiar happened to me. I remember I was at school and I had just started my period and was wearing a PINK skirt, because we were not allowed to wear pants. So.... I thought I was protected with my 3 pound heavy Maxxxxi PPPAD and when I got up to get something from the teacher's desk, I had like 10 million spots all over my pink skirt. That was embarrassing. I still remember like if it was yesterday. The worst part is that I had to wear the skirt all day because my mom couldnt come and bring me another one. So I "turned" it around several times, my dumbass thinking, that if I didnt see it, nobody would see it either.....
I feel for you Y, and I love you for being who you are.

Such a great post, despite it bringing up flashbacks to my own period traumas. One highlight? My first period. Everyone has their own embarrassing story, I know, but mine? Well, here's a clue: I was a gymnast. Leotard? First period? NOT pretty...

Oh you poor girl. Can I just ask why you didn't use an actual pad (you know...cuz of the STICKY) rather than toilet paper? LOL! I don't even know how many times I bled through my jeans at school. At least five times. And no one ever said anything to me about it, THANK GOD, or I would have DIED. Now I'm too scared to try the Diva Cup because I can just imagine me standing up and the cup tipping over (inside my vagina, because that COULD happen! You never know, okay?) and spilling the blood down my legs. Those things are scary!

You too?

This is my embarassing incident:

I was a new mommy, pushing a newborn in a pram in the busiest most popular mall in town, the one everyone goes to. To make matters worse it was a Saturday so it was packed and I am wearing pale grey trousers and a short pale blue t-shirt. I got diarrhoea. There was no warning. There was no holding it in. I was standing in the busyest part of the mall as the liquid gushed and stained my trousers in parts a lovely shade of brown. Blatantly obvious brown.
I had to walk to the other end of the mall to wash my trousers then wear them wet while I bought underwear and trousers in the budget store so I could catch the bus home to have a bath.
I must have cried for 4 hours while everyone pointed at me, laughed and joked about it. The new oh so expensive trousers went straight in the bin.

Karly-- that's a good question. I can't remember why I didn't just use a pad, but, I think it probably had something to do with not wanting my mom to ask why the pads were disappearing so fast.

Or something. Who knows. hahaha

OMG, that is horrible! I so feel for you!

One Mission Sunday my dad had me walk up and down the aisles passing out the Missionary Prayer Cards to everyone when suddenly I tripped on my totally-not-allowed-to-wear-ever-because-they're-a-gateway-to-prostitution-and-drugs-and-the-Occult high heels.

As I was falling down, my illicit heel got stuck on a wire and dragged a mic down from the stage to where I was actively falling. So! When I screamed, "Oh Shit" it was amplified all over the church. I lay there on the floor with my Jezebel heels exposed as the swear word reverberated off the walls in the House of the Lord.

OMG I did the same thing!!!

My school was actually TRYING to do a good thing and had The Talk with us in fifth grade and even gave all the girls a little box with a few pads and tampons, and a book about the years to come... but really it just freaked me out. I was so scared EVERY day that I would get my period and someone would see. So I used all the pads in the kit, then I stole some from my mom but I was afraid she would notice, so then I did my own version of the home-made's.... thank God I could wear jeans so if they became dislodged they didn't fall out!

And to top it all off, I didn't get my period until 9th grade... so that is like 4 years of worry for me! You are not alone :)

I want to hug the little girl that you were. I'm so glad that Gabby is going to have such a cool mom that won't care if she goes through a gazillion pads.

that is seriously horrible.
I am traumatized just reading it. Ugh.

It was Very Serious at the time.

But I have to say, I was weeping with laughter when I wrote it. Because, you know, my "pad" fell out on my way up the aisle to worship the Lord.

haha

I am blushing because I am so embarrassed for you!!!

Glad this was up long enough for me to read. I have no idea why.

I think I'll go ahead and leave it up. Let's just all hope this isn't the day my mom finds my blog.

I feel for you even though that was years ago I'm sure. What an awkward time in life and how unfortunate not to have a supportive mother to help you through it. (I don't have that supportive mother either)

I ... I am floored, Y.

This? THIS HAPPENED TO ME TOO. AND I HAVE NEVER TOLD ANYONE ABOUT IT. EVER. UNTIL NOW. IT FELL OUT. AT THE MALL. AND I KEPT WALKING.

I can't stop shouting, I don't know why. I ... I just never told anyone that I did that AND I never met anyone else who did it too. And what happened to Amanda? That happened to me too when I went hypothyroid. Goddamn thyroid made me whip through an entire MENSTRUAL CUP (just don't ask. It's better that way).

Just a warning, Y: dunno if the bad periods happened to you while hypo, but it's totally a symptom and it made me want to die.

Also, I eventually learned to stop it from falling out by WRAPPING the toilet paper around the crotch of my underwear to secure it. One loss of a bloody batch (yes, mine was BLOODY. AT THE MALL.) and I learned my lesson.

And ah, you know what else? I mean, as embarrassing as that situation was, it taught me that I *can* make a menstrual pad from toilet paper -- a damn secure one at that, what with the wrapping around the crotch and all -- in a pinch. And I am both proud and humiliated to admit that I've used it as an adult.

We should all teach our daughters how to do Jonniker's toilet wrapping technique!!! How many times have we gotten a period out in public and thought " oh shiiiit".

I totally wanted to hug the teenage Y. How lucky G-unit is to have a mom who will be so open with her.

One day you could be just like me and my teen daughter, who just tonight asked me what a "conjugal visit" was between bites of tuna casserole.

The fun, she never stops.

Thank you so, so much for the laugh. And yes, thanks to the poster above with the smart "wrap-around" idea. I've made it almost to menopause without figuring that out myself.

When I first got my period, I called my Mom into the bathroom. Her response?

"Is that FROM YOU?"

WHERE ELSE WOULD THE BLOOD COME FROM?

Then she took me out for lunch and told me that boys would want to get in my pants.

I was 11.

It was not awkward. Nope. NOT AT ALL.

I used to worry about that happening to me too. I didn't start my period till I was 15, and it was agony, every little "feeling" down there meant that I would run off to the toilets to make sure I wasn't about to get my period and then flood everywhere.

Ugh, it's so agonizing being a girl, isn't it? Although at least we never had to worry about having to go up to the front of the class with a stiffie, like the boys did. I always thought that would be just as bad.

Wow, just wow.

I totally used to do the wrap the tp around the panties bit. Cause I never knew when i would get my period. I need tot ech that trick to my DD.... I can't believe I haven't already!

Y, I just want to hug you. I am so sorry you did not have a supportive mom. Thank you for sharing this with us!

and here i was, with the super supportive hippie mom, the mom who wanted to talk about everything INCLUDING MASTURBATION, and i was still embarrassed to tell her when i became 'a wimmins.'

the grass is always greener, you know?

p.s.
my favorite part is that i 'got it' when i was twelve, and i begged my mom not to tell my dad. i found out later that of course she did tell him as soon as i went to bed, and that he went immediately to the store and came back with a big box of condoms. if you knew what i looked like when i was twelve, you would know how ridiculous this is. there was no chance in hell that anyone was going to be having any sex with me--jesus approved, or no.

but, my dad?
he was like: she's a woman. i stand back now, and hope for the best.

i kinda love my dad when i think about that story.

Your post has brought back so many memories I thought I had repressed... like the time when I was in 12 and I needed to change my pad while at was at school. I sneakily got my pad out of my school bag (which was sitting on the back of my chair) and steathily put it in my jacket pocket. When I got to the bathroom it wasn't in my pocket anymore. I walked back into the classroom to the sound of one of the boys loudly saying "ew there is a pad on the floor" - mind you it was still in its wrapping - but then it was an 11 year old boy!!. To make matters worse a boy who I had a massive crush on looked up at me and winke d- he must have seen it fall out of my pocket. The shame!!!

First period, on a 6th grade class trip to the "big city". On a boat ride. In the middle of the harbour. No bathroom. Two hour drive home by bus afterwards. Male teacher. It is to weep.

I still do the TP wrap thing in a pinch. You only have to bleed through once before you're tempted to encase your entire lower body in lucite.

Oh, and when I was 13 I wet my pants standing in line at the mall. Because it was a long line and I didn't want to give up my spot. And I sneezed, and once it started I couldn't get it stopped. I Kegel a LOT now.

Ahhh, memories. I hope you don't mind if I sit here and laugh at yours and then not share my own. Just knowing that other people went through the trauma of home-made pad mishaps somehow makes some of myown period related trauma seem not so bad.

This is why I love you.

Oy Vey! I just totally fell on the floor and died from sheer embarrassment for you.

I've heard stories like this before, and have always been terrified that my "emergency pads" are going to fall out. So now, if that becomes necessary, I actually wrap the paper around the crotch of my panties. You know, for extra security.

I started my period when I was 12, at a friend's birthday party. While wearing white.

My mom had never talked to me about the period so I thought I was dying. I told my friend.

Luckily she already had her period and came with me in the bathroom and showed me how to use a pad.

Then I called my mom who then called all my female relatives who called to congratulate me.

Oh god.

It is sheer luck that the exact same thing didn't happen to me. I love you for daring to post it.

Oh I'm no way as tramatized as you were! Ugh - I can NOT imagine.

you people are awesome

How horrifying! Man, I'm cringing just thinking about it. I wish I could give you a hug right now. This has brought up a repressed homemade pad memory of my own. Mine fell out, too, but luckily I was wearing pants and it just lodged itself on the way down my pantleg. Not anywhere near as traumatic as your experience. Crap. It sucks to be 12.

O I totally did the make-your-own-tp-pad thing too (wrapping the tp around the panties is soooo the way to go), only I took it a whole wierd step further. I did NOT have the supportive helpful mom. I was soooo afraid to talk to her, and I was freakin' TERRIFIED of her husband. I used the tp pads to avoid having to ask for more when the regular pads ran out (for some reason it angered my mom to buy them for me). I was so afraid of being found out I actually hid my pads in a brown paper bag at the back of my closet and then snuck the bag out in the wee hours of the morning on trash day. One day my mom found the bag (afetr I had missed 2 trash days) and I about died. She was totally the type of person to tell EVERYONE she knew or met or stood next to in line. At least I wasn't found out in public though.... Just know that you are not alone!

OMG, the memories! You are so awesome, Y! So are all of the commenters...cause I, too have used the TP pad, or sometimes a paper towel one, in an emergency. One time, I even cut a pullup in half and used that because I ran out of pads and had to go to the store. Yikes, what we go through!

This is why I love you, Y. See how many people related to this post? And I am no exception... it is such an awkward time in every young girl's life. And now we get to look back at ourselves and have a good laugh. Thanks to you for that. Hugs.

oh goodness, Y, if I could tell you all my TP pad traumas you'd be thankful for yours. I thought no one else made TP pads, though. lets just say I got my period when I was 11, kept it a secret from everyone until I was almost 16. that's a lot of hiding pads in my room and stealing them from my Mom and making TP pads and being generally gross and shady because I was too afraid to talk to my Mom about my period... yikes. I use tampons now. my pad trauma never went away ;)

OMG. You win. I did the same thing but it fell out at school in the hallway. I wanted to die. Lucky the boys thought I used it to stuff my bra, so the humiliation was slightly less.

LOL Priceless! That reminds me of a Kathy Griffin story in which she was using a wad of tissues to deal with, well, a sweaty bum. After having a great meeting with someone important, she went out to her car, checked for the tissues, and they were gone. Oops. ;^)

My sister, having had surgery for an ovarian cyst, misplaced the pad she had had in her knickers when she went to sleep..where? Where could it be?? It was found, stuck to the chart at the end of the bed ...who knows how it got there but she still blushes and wheezes with hysterical shame whever she remembers that moment!

Sweet Merciful Crap----I've finally found my Homemade-Pad-On-The-Floor Soul Sister. This happened to me, too---but not in church--at the mall. I get a stomach ache just thinking about it--and it happened nearly 18 YEARS AGO!!!! Gah!!...

Thankfully, I have no shameful period stories. But church!! I have shameful church stories!
I stood up to play the piano for special music (I was the ministers kid). My heel got stuck in the hem of my skirt. My elastic waist skirt. When I stood up, the skirt went down.
"Now Pastor Barry's daughter will bless us with a piano special."
I stand up and flash my panties.
I lean over (!!!!) and hike up my skirt. Then I played a good Jesus song on the piano. I bet that's one special music the People of God remembered for a long time.

OMG I did the same thing with the TP! Must have been all us girls without the supportive moms that had to make our own way, or something.

Y - I am a long time reader (and lurker) and I my heart has just been breaking for you and your health troubles. Why can't the doctors just be more supportive and helpful?!

Oh, my dear, dear woman. I lived in fear of that EXACT ACCIDENT throughout my entire adolescence. Because that exact same thing happened to my mother when she was a girl, and she told me the story one time too many (which is to say, she told it to me once.)

About five years ago, my periods went mad heavy. And erratic. It was like my full time job for a week just keeping up with pad + tampon changes (yes, I had to wear a motherload MaXXXi pad AND a super plus tampon AND change them every hour...in fact, how am I still alive after all that blood loss?). Anyway, I thought I had it under control, but one day in church -- and it's important that you know I was in the choir, so I was wearing my choir robe and seated on the far side of the congregation -- I just felt this SWOOSH and knew that things had gone horribly, terribly liquid in my bajingo. I slowly got up and walked aaaaaaaaallllll the way around the back of the church and went to the bathroom to discover that in the space of about twenty minutes I had bled through a jumbo pad, a tampon the size of a roll of toilet paper, my underwear, my pantyhose, my dress, and my effing choir robe. There was a stain the size of a dinner plate on the back of my CHOIR ROBE. I had to walk aaaaaaallll the way back through the church, go up into the choir stand, retrieve my purse and car keys, and then beat a hasty mf'ing retreat. I will never, for the rest of my life, ever ever EVER come close to the mortification of those moments. Never. I could take a crap on national television in front of my biggest crush and I still wouldn't feel half as humiliated.

Do you think the Lord is doing this to us, Y, to make us stronger people?

i still haven't gotten over that mofo abusive mofo calls-himself-a-teacher mofo. mygawd what you have been through, woman. it is a wonder that you did not SHIT in that church, since from what i can tell, it would have scared the crap outta me.
i am weak, like a terrier.

when i was pregnant EACH TIME i worried about pooing on my OB - WHO HAPPENED TO BE ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS DUDE - and i am happy to say that i never did.

HOWEVER, there is MORE. after baby #3 (you know him as the fabulous Ez, or 'bubbles') i had had TWO spinals because apparently i am an ox not a terrier when it comes to taking me out with drugs. i was as numb as one would be for a c-section. okay, got the picture? i was having a baby through my vagina for the third time, and i felt GREAT for the first time. drugs do rock.
ANYWAY....
...so someone made a funny right after i delivered him and i laughed so hard that i PEED on him. ON MY SON.
I PEED ON MY BABY.

wow. it feels good to get that out.

oh yeah one more thing...i recently was leaving a rec center where i work and the director is WAY prudish (she had issues w/me breastfeeding in public). i bent over to pick something up and some tampax (lovely, short, neatly wrapped like candy stix just ask my kids) fell out of my bag. this woman actually laughed and said to the secretary, ''OH, you never know what will fall out of HER bag!!"

i paused but a moment before i said,
"I know. thank god it wasn't the dildo!"

SHUT her ass right up.

You are bringing back suppressed memories here...I've got a few I'll share in the interest of sharing...cuz I know you want to know...

I was a very late bloomer and my cycle was never regular as a 17 year old, so I never really worried over my period. Then one fine summer night I was asked out on a date by a boy I LOVED. We ended up meeting up with my best friend and her boyfriend and it turned into a very fun double date. I was wearing white jeans.

See where this is going? Well sometime on my way home, Aunt Flo came a knocking and I GUSHED blood everywhere. My best friend tried to cover my ass with her body so the boys wouldn"t see my stained jeans as I got out of the car, but I had bled ALL OVER the back seat of his tan leather car seats.

Ya. He never called me again.

Then there was the time I was trying to insert a tampon in my bathroom when my brother's friend burst into the bathroom with my legs spread and my hands in my crotch.

Ya. Damn you daddy for never fixing that bathroom lock.

I just loved growing up.

I used the homemade tp pads for three years because I was afraid to tell my mom I had my period. It turns out she knew. I was like, "Mom, if you knew, could you not at least have stocked my bathroom for me???"