I think you need to give things a bit more time. You just barely started feeling better. Let's give it a month or so. YOU Can do it!!!!!

Y,

Please allow yourself to keep on trying. This is a difficult time for you and I feel certain you will find the right physician/medication/alignment-of-the-planets-and-stars to make weightloss possible.

Don't.
Give.
Up.

Anyone who can karaoke "Jessie's Girl" the way you do still has a helluva lot of fight left in her.

S t e p h e r

Just wanted to write and let you know that what you said resonated *so much* with me. I am in a very similar situation. If I had the words of encouragement to give myself, I would gladly give them to you too. For now, just sending some understanding and solidarity your way. :)

You can do it. I feel the same way about the size of my breasts.

I'm not giving up on you! I visit your site everyday for inspiration and motivation...and a good chuckle. I'm there- I've been there. I was 229 in 2004 and now my weight has increased to 249...the weight just seemed to go up and up and up and up and up and up......because I was eating. I was not controlling the food consumption and I was not making the right choices. I've started and stopped dieting four times since last August 2007.....I'm like an alcoholic that picks up drinking again. But, I had enough! Last week- I hit the wall- hard! The pictures from my trip to the Dominican were like a blatent slap in the face about my life. Here I was trying to smile like I was the happiest girl in the world, when all I wanted to do was cry- because everyone else around me was a size 10 or lower!

I don't want to have those feelings anymore.
I found energy and motivation- and support through these blogs, and, you blog gives me hope...that when you're down and out- there is still a way to get to the top!
Keep going, I believe in you!

Sending lots of hugs and positive vibes for you. May things change for you soon, particularly in how you feel. Can you ditch the scale so as not to further depress yourself, and focus on the getting healthy part? I hope and pray you get the right dosage of medicine soon, so you have the energy to even go for a walk. I can't imagine how tied your hands must feel. Hang in there!

www.sparkpeople.com

It's a FREE web site to track what you eat & how much you exercise. More than that, it's a web site filled with people supporting each other to lose weight.

You might even find people in your same situation.

God Bless!

I hesitate to suggest this, but maybe talking to your doctor about safe ways to lose weight?

Other than that, you have my loyal and deepest compassion. I can hear the concern in your voice loud and clear. Thinking of you.

Do you have any idea how much you rock for posting your weight on the internet? Who has the courage to do that? I just love you.

I think a meeting with a Registered Dietician would be hugely helpful--even if just to get some simple meal plans as a road map in the beginning. I am a nursing student and have had to do meal plans for all sorts of conditions--diabetes, gluten free, PKU, etc…and I cannot imagine trying to wrap my head around the 800 calorie issue. This is no consolation, but overcoming this will be, if nothing else, very empowering.

If I were you I wouldn't look on the internet about being overweight. If some had their way they would make anyone who was 5 lbs. overweight as at death's door.

Weighing 229 pounds will NOT kill you. As long as you eat healthy and exercise a few times a week you'll probably be fine.

If anything, agonizing over the weight and feeling bad about yourself is much more unhealthy. You are a worthwhile person regardless of your weight. Being overweight is NOT a moral failing.

I would think 800 calories a day would make your body think you are trying to starve it. Sounds absurd but every time I go lo-cal, I gain and when I bump it up, I lose. It's a delicate balance to keep your body fooled into believing it can let go of fat. I second the SparkPeople recommendation. Sign up, fill out the forms and be honest about your weight and activity levels and your available time to put towards exercise. You'll be surprised at what it recommends for caloric intake.

Y--

I know how hard it is. I know how much HARDER it is when you feel like nothing is working and there is little point in continuing to bust your butt trying. You CANNOT give up. You CANNOT loose hope.

I've managed to loose 70 lbs since last July even though when I started I could barely walk and I couldn't stand more than 2 minutes at a time.

I've gone from 464 lbs down to 39something. I've been on a plateau for MONTHS now. It's frustrating. I've cried more tears over my weight than anything in my life. I keep trying. I keep hoping. I keep working and changing my plan to something that may work "This Time."

You CAN do this. You just can't let your desperation and depression beat you down.

Much Love.

Tessa

first, i love how brave you are. you kick fucking ass, dude.

second, i KNOW the weight struggles, oh god do i. though (as far as i know, gulp) i haven't had to deal with a diagnosed medical condition in addition to just the regular weight struggles. i can only imagine the all-new dimensions of suck that must layer on all of it.

i know you don't need assvice, so i won't give it. but know i feel you and am here to talk anytime ok? xoxo

I have nothing to say but...((HUGS))!!!

Y, My ex-husband had hashimoto's. He too felt horrible for 1 year before anyone checked his thyroid. For 1 year after that, he went thru adjustments. It took them a while to figure out the right dosage. Once it was a year, he had gotten everything straightened out and felt much better. Please give it time. I dont' know what you feel like, but please give it some time. (((HUGS)))

Y, you are so brave. And really? on just 800 calories you can still gain weight? That is depressing. I hope you'll still keep trying. We all want you to be happy AND healthy.

Y, just wanted to chime in to say if you can swing it, go see a nutritionist. One that will work individually with you. My mom has struggled for decades to lose weight, which has been mostly prevented by her health issues (she's had her thyroid removed, she's on insulin, etc.). Last year, after seeing a nutritionist, she lost 30lbs! The nutritionist told her (and I know this will sound insane) to stop eating salad. I know. But it worked! The point is, a good nutritionist will come up with a plan that is perfect for you to achieve your goals. Don't give up yet!

Oh, dear. It's hard enough to lose weight WITHOUT medical issues hindering the process, so I can't even imagine your level of frustration. Hang in there, Y, I'm rooting for ya!

Hi Y - I'm a frequent reader delurking. I also have Hashimotos, diagnosed 13 years ago. I can give you perspective on long term weight issues. I have found after trying MANY different weight loss strategies (Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Low Fat, Low Carb, Atkins, Weight Watchers again, South Beach, etc.) that the only thing that honestly works for me is walking. All the time that I can. In the winter, on the treadmill. In spring and summer, around the block. If I cant do a half hour due to fatigue, I do 15 or 20 minutes. It's better than nothing. Mind you, I still have 50 extra pounds that I really dont see leaving any time soon. But we all know what is healthy to eat and what is not. Soda is bad. Fruits and veggies are good. Sorry to say, that's all that has ever worked for me. I have been on synthroid the entire time, and it never helped me lose a pound. I'm up to 200mcgs and it just barely keeps the other symptoms at bay. I still wonder what will happen when the white blood cells finally destroy my thyroid. Our Hashi's fatigue is like that of having the flu EVERY DAY. Our white count is so high fighting the thyroid that it feels like we are fighting something off every day. So dont beat yourself up. You will level off and find a semi comfortable spot in Hashimoto land. Eat right, walk a little, and make the conscious decision to enjoy every day at least a little. Give it time! Dont be so hard on yourself!

People who weigh 280 would kill to weigh 229. I thought I was fat when I was 165. It's a freaking numbers game that will make you insane.

When I see your pictures, you look beautiful. Remember that you are a hot chick, it will come off again, it will get better!

You are incredibly brave and I admire you - your blog is a favorite of mine and you inspire me everytime you post. You have such a beautiful family and I think you're a very beautiful woman inside and out. Stay strong.

I wish I had something encouraging and/or touching to say about the weight (I don't. Other than extra weight sucks and it's a stupid head - see - totally not encouraging OR touching)... so I will say this instead...

I love your, I'm assuming P.J., bottoms. That is honestly what drew my attention in that picture - not the number on the scale.

Hang in there!

I cannot tell you how bummed and frustrated I am for you.

I would highly recommend and see if your endocrinologist will write a rx for a dietician/nutritionist consult.

You have a medical problem, they need to deal with it.

As for spark people I say yay!

As for going back to the gym, how about just making the whole family go for a walk after dinner for twenty minutes and them move up to the gym.

Baby steps Y, baby steps.

You are going to do it again, I know it.

Oh, sweetie. Hang in there!

Praying for you.

xoxo

Listen, you ARE gorgeous. Period. Your friends and family KNOW what you are struggling with I am sure would never judge you. I wish I had an answer for you, I really do. I know what it is like to struggle with weight, but not health problems. I hope you feel better soon, in all areas.

Believe me, I know first hand how much dieting can mess with your body and your mind. Please don't do anything too extreme.

Check out thinwithin.org for an alternative and, because good weight loss can take so long, it might help to check out some body acceptance websites, like therotund, shapelyprose, or bigfatdeal

I really haven't lost much weight but I am so much happier and healthier because of these things.

Hey Y! I'm sorry you're feeling so blue, but let me share my story with you, dude.

Like you, I have major thyroid issues (postpartum thyroiditis) and it got worse after I had my son. I ate maybe 800-900 calories a day, breastfed non-stop and gained 5 lbs.

I've been getting my medication titrated (synthoid--if you are taking the generic, you might try the real stuff. My MD switched me over to it, and it's helped some), I've gone from 88mcg-137 mcg over the course of about 6 months.

And it's discouraging as hell. Losing the baby weight, losing the thyroid weight, really, has been nothing short of torture. I don't eat, I gain. I eat, I gain. It sucks.

I'm not trying to make you feel worse, not at all, I'm just telling you that I get it. And I know it sucks. And I know how it makes you feel: like total dogshit. Like there's no real use in trying.

Email me if you need some loving or someone to bitch to, because I know just how it feels. becky (at) dwink (dot) net.

As for me, my meds are somewhat okay, I need to go up again, I think, and I'll be heading back to the doctor soon for more blood draws.

I'm also hitting the gym a lot and trying like hell not to watch the scale.

Good luck, dude. I'm here if you need me.

I think you're hilarious. I always read your blog but I never comment because ... well ... I'm seventeen, and who wants to hear what a seventeen year old girl has to say?

But this time, just FYI, fuck scales. I'm 5'6 and I've been 85 lb and it was disgusting. Obviously you don't want to be anorexic or anything, but weight isn't something I'll ever be happy with, so I've learned to just kind of ignore it. Get rid of the scale and focus on being healthy. YOU'RE A FLY ASS BITCH, FUCK THE WEIGHT HATERS. Even if you're never able to lose weight, you're probably the most intelligent, funny person I've ever run across on the web. You have a beautiful family and you're a beautiful woman -- at 179 AND at 229. Don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise ... even yourself.

Sorry if this makes no sense. :/

I rarley de-lurk...just wanted to let you know everyone is behind you 100%...this has to be really tough but you have to keep trying, hopefully they can adjust your meds and you can get back to being fabulous and doing dance-offs.

XO

RE: Your twitter about bananas - make smoothies! With the warmer weather, there are so many yummy yummy ripe fruits out there that smoothies are a taste of heaven. Mix that banana with some strawberries and non-fat yogurt in your blender and drink up. Good stuff!

Sounds like you may be a good candidate for gastric bypass.

Y,

Give yourself a freaking break!

You have a condition that even your doctor says is not under control and that spurs on bouts of depression.

My sister was diagnosed with Hashimotos around the same time you were after she attempted suicide (she thought she had THE CRAZY but didn't tell anyone). Anyway, her medication struggles are so similar to yours it isn't funny. She too has gained almost 20 pounds.

So I'm going to tell you what I tell her.

Relax. (Haha, that pissed you off didn't). Sorry not trying to piss you off. Seriously, you have a serious condition that will require medication for the rest of your life. In fact the time it takes to get the medication at the correct dose can take a year or more. And if your medication isn't working, and you can't get out of bed how in the hell do you think that you are going to lose weight? For now, until things get back on track and you piece together two weeks of good days I don't think that you should worry about your weight because that will do nothing but make you want to stay in bed longer.

I've been both of those numbers on the scale and while I haven't battled Hashimotos personally I have faith that once you feel like Y again you will be able to head back in the right direction.

For now, just do your best to eat healthy. AND DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF! You have a disease that is in no way under control.

i cannot even imagine the frustration you must feel right now. and i know i cannot help. all i can offer is support. {hugs} you are awesome for not giving up entirely. eating little and taking medication is supposed to yield results. it's not fair when it doesn't. i would have given up ages ago. love.

You can do it! It's gonna be hard, but you can do it! Would it be helpful to go and see a nutritionist? Maybe someone who specializes in thyroid issues?

{{{hugs}}}

You can do it! It's gonna be hard, but you can do it! Would it be helpful to go and see a nutritionist? Maybe someone who specializes in thyroid issues?

{{{hugs}}}

Don't you give up. This will not beat you.

I can't quite start the path to losing weight yet - I'm 3 weeks away from my second c-section - but once I'm given the go-ahead by my OB, I would happily be your thyroid-weightloss buddy! I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism following my first pregnancy in March of 2007. I also worry about my health (have some heart irregularities, too, as well as a blood clotting disorder). I was also assured that the weight would come off once I started the levothyr*xine, but nope - I gained 11 pounds in the first couple of months. Fast forward to today, being 36+ weeks pregnant with baby #2, and I'm heavier than God ever intended me to be. I'll be a part of this support system you have as best I can, if you're interested! :)

You are not alone - and it is hard. It's hard for so many reasons - I started to list them here, but I don't need to because you KNOW them already.

But you are strong and smart. You will find your groove again. And don't forget to choose Cheese. ;-)

Also, on my phone, every day is Happy Hash Thursday, so feel free to dial'er up if you want to let it all hang out, sister.

Somewhere up there in the comments someone mentioned that at 800 calories your body would think it's starving.....and this is true. Very true. Your body will start hording fat because it's in survival mode. So try to avoid a severe cut in calories. The most important thing is to eat healthy. Cut back on fats and sugars, try to eat more vegetables. Read nutrition labels to make sure you're not eating hidden fat, salt, and sugar. Sometimes it's very surprising. Also, make sure you're getting enough vitamins. I take children's chewable vitamins. I know that sounds silly, but they really do have a good balance of the vitamins you need. Also, taking fish oil capsules can really help with cholestorol and blood pressure.

I know, I know.....I give too much advice! But I know you can do it. Just be healthy with the way you are doing it. That's the only way to keep the weight off. Don't do anything drastic. Take baby steps and try not to stress out if the progress is slow. People who lose weight gradually, tend to keep it off.

And of course, exercise. But it doesn't have to all be in a gym. Trick yourself. Park at the far end of the parking lot. Take the stairs. Dance! Just be active. Keep moving. Don't sit. Go for a picture taking/walking expedition. The little things really add up.

You go girl. Focus on being healthy and happy, the rest will follow. And you've got the whole internet out here supporting you!

One day at a time, Y. Don't overwhelm yourself with numbers. Just get yourself feeling better and eat healthy and walk. Hugs.

Hang in there!

Do you know how much I admire you? Dude. I'd never have the courage or balls or whatever to do what you're doing. Ever.

I have to agree with the person who said

"Do you have any idea how much you rock for posting your weight on the internet? Who has the courage to do that? I just love you."

It sucks major b*lls to have something else working aganist you when you are trying to loose weight. I have PCOS and its hard enough but I can't imagine my thyroid messing with me too. I feel for you but you seem like such a strong women. You did it once you can do it again

I have to agree with the person who said

"Do you have any idea how much you rock for posting your weight on the internet? Who has the courage to do that? I just love you."

It sucks major b*lls to have something else working aganist you when you are trying to loose weight. I have PCOS and its hard enough but I can't imagine my thyroid messing with me too. I feel for you but you seem like such a strong women. You did it once you can do it again

I don't have any brilliant wisdom for you, but I care about you. I just wanted to let you know that I'm rooting for you, and I'll send as much good luck your way as I can find. You can do this. I believe in you.

Your body can only do one thing at a time! Right now it's fighting hard to find some semblance of normal with your thyroid. Once that crisis levels out, then it can start working on your weight.

I have bad lung disease and gained (no shit) 100 pounds in 5 weeks, due to all the steroids. And that was on hospital food! It's been 4 long years and I'm just now at a place where my body is willing to shed the weight. (I tried like mad the whole time and accomplished nothing but shitty self-esteem; I wish I could do it all over)

Give your body some love and patience. It's doing the best it can right now. Make good food choices, but don't get down on yourself if you can't drop the weight immediately. That poor body is in crisis mode and just needs some TLC and a good med dosage and then you can worry about the weight. One thing at a time! Be nice to yourself. :)

See how many people are out here rooting for you?! You just keep up your writing and your sense of humor ok? If you don't we'll all come virtually kick your leopard printed pj butt!

Be good to you!
K

If you want to make a voo-doo doll, create one in my cousin's likeness: size 2, gorgeous, and apparently has a thyroid problem that makes her gain weight. Gain? Yes, apparently she'd be like a 0 or 00 if she didn't have the thyroid problem. Yes, I'd like to snap her in half. (Except she is really nice, so it is hard to hate her as much as I wish I could look like her.)

FWIW, I thought you looked lovely at CampBaby. I would not have guessed 229 - it is just a number. Really, you are gorgeous.

Keep your head up lady...sounds trite but this to, shall pass. You will soon handle all this in stride.

ummmm...I really want to say...I've got to see the rest of your pants!! I love the print.

ummmm...I really want to say...I've got to see the rest of your pants in the second picture!! I love the print, LOL!

You have to just let the weight go for now. Stop obsessing over it for a few weeks and see what happens. Just focus on what makes "you" better right now. Be it a pedicure, watching movies, etc. You deserve it. Just take care of you and your family and not let the weight rule you.

You can do it, honey-bunny. I'm right there with you. I've started doing a couple of little things that have made a difference -- I'm trying to eat dinner before 5 p.m.; getting enough sleep; drinking enough water. Oh, yeah, and the work-outs. Which are impossible when I feel like hell. (But then I feel like hell if I don't get 'em, so we all know how that goes.)

You are not alone.

Isn't it strange that I don't know you but this made me cry? I'm so sorry! :o(

I don't know how many people write you and tell you how you and that person are just alike. However, I know I've done it several times. And, well, I'm certain we were twins in another life. Either I was one hot Latino or you was one dark skinned redneck. Anyway, when I got on the scales yesterday at the doc's office and she said 229, I almost flipped her off. No lie. I lost over 40 pounds with each of my pregnancy's and gained every bit of it back before their first birthday.

My problems happen to be a combo of thyroid and diabetes, throw in some other minor problems like chronic sinusitis and my eyes appear to be swollen shut almost continuously. We can do it though, we can do it!

Hugs.. It's not your fault... my three year old eats bigger portions than I do.. I too am sick of the struggle.. sick of trying.. sick of feeling sick

dont give up
you can do it
it will come off

I hear you sister, as you know, I'm in exactly the same boat. I gained about 70 pounds before I was diagnosed.

Did you get my email about possibly meeting up with Amy?

I'm so with you here. I have The Hash, too, and when I got diagnosed 3 months ago almost had a nervous breakdown reading about how to lose weight with The Hash. My silver lining is that I will actually start feeling better now that things have been figured out. Feeling better is my first step.

Wow, I really feel for you. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's about five years ago and I did have a good Dr. who checked my antibody levels after my TSH and T3 numbers were still normal. I had gained about 15 lbs, heavy periods, cold all the time, and finally my hair started falling out. I did lose the weight after starting medication (Synthroid) but then I gained it back and more after my husband was diagnosed with a terminal disease. I am currently seeing a nutritionist, trainer and trying to work out more to get rid of the 30 lbs I now need to lose. I also went on antidepressants which helped me feel better after my diagnosis. I come from a family of physicians, am married to one and have excellent resources and I still feel clueless sometimes. Are you having your blood work done every three to six months? Thinking of you.

While I don't suffer from Hashi's, I do suffer from hypothyroidism. I spent over 5 years on Levoxyl, then Sythroid only to gain 120 lbs. Yes, it is scarily possible to gain weight on 800 calories a day. I exercised 5X a week. It sucked.

Good news is that I've lost the 120 lbs (in one year) and kept it off for close to two years this November. It can be done. I still mourn for the fact that I can't eat like a normal person, but my body unfortunately doesn't function like a "normal" person's body and I had to mourn that and accept it.

I used a program called "The Carbohydrate's Diet". *Not* Atkins. I would not have survived on a measly 20 grams of carbs per day. I would have eaten the entire pantry (including the flour and the supporting wood structure) on anything restrictive. I read a lot about the hormone connection between TSH and insulin. I found out that flouride is bad for your thyroid. I avoided hormones in meat as they can mess with hormone balance.

(Not to bore you and your readers with details here, I'd be glad to share what worked for my nearly dead thyroid)

{{{ Hugs }}}
Karen

Karen,

I have hypothyroidism too and have been struggling with my weight for a very long time (I am now up to 288 pounds). I'm interested in the diet you mentioned (The Carbohydrate's Diet) and so I googled it but didn't find it. I found The Specific Carbohydrate Diet. Is that it? Would you please give me more information about the diet you're referring to? Thank you.

It's a terrible struggle and you must feel so defeated... I understand more than you can imagine.

Best to you.

Try http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/
I lost 15 lbs when I switched to Armour thyroid medicine instead of Synthroid.

11 years ago I decided to try the fad of the moment - phen fen and found out I have what can only be described as the laziest thyroid ever tested... I immediately went on synthroid (and phen fen) and lost a bunch of weight the WAYYY unhealthy way - high for about 6 months and then after going off the dreaded fen I gained it all back plus 75 pounds.

It wasn't until 2004 when I joined weight watchers that the bulb clicked on and I found myself eating and exercising regularly. Now 4 years later I am 100 pounds lighter but am ashamed to admit that I have another 100 to go... so my advice to you is just look around for what will work for you - and make sure to incorporate exercise - as tough as it is to exercise every day it is the one thing that will help improve thyroid function (at least in my experience...) oh and make sure they keep testing you - the results can change drastically and always get the name brand medicine - no generic thyroid meds!!!!

Thanks for being an inspiration in honesty for the rest of us... You rock!

The book with the plan I used was The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet by the Hellers :

http://www.amazon.com/Carbohydrate-Addicts-Diet-Lifelong-Solution/dp/0451173392

Karen

I know which plan you're talking about now, Karen. I used to have that book too. Thank you.

Don't give up! Or...whatever...give up...just come over and give up with us at DTBMULF ;)

I was in the same place you are in about a year ago. I couldn't lose weight, scared about my health, feeling terrible for seeming no reason. BUT! It got better, I lost some weight after being on my meds. for a while and started to feel like myself again. I just want you to know it does get better. Don't give up!

Y, I can't even tell you how much you inspire. Because you are ALWAYS persevering, even when you think you're not, and those of us who have to overcome way less obstacles are all "wtf is MY issue?" and we see you working, being honest, staying true, and we'll celebrate with you on the other side.

I couldn't begin to know, but I'll always be here for you. XOXO

Gosh, this one is funny. My wife had the same idea, so I had to wake her up and show here your blog. I hope you eat again...

I think about you often and can only imagine how stressful it is to not be able to lose weight all the traditional ways- It's hard enough without the hashi. GAH. I'm punching a wall for you in my mind.

I hope they can get your medication regulated and that you wil start seeing RESULTS. And we're all here for you in the meantime.

I have Hashi's too. I am on Armour thyroid. I started out on Synthroid and it was okay. I feel much better on Armour. It is difficult to find a doctor that will prescribe it though. Good luck to you. It definitely sucks having this disease. I was diagnosed very early into the onset of the disease but it still took a good year to get me regulated. I still haven't been able to lose the 30 plus pounds I put on but I am working on it. Let me know if you have any questions about Armour.