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September 11, 2008
Number Seven.

I'm a crier. I cry when I'm sad. I cry when other people are sad. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when other people are happy. I cry to almost any montage put to music. Seriously, you could make a slide show of peoples feet , slap a sad song up as background music and I'd cry.

I cry every year on September 11th.

Except this year, I didn't cry.

I watched "The Day the Towers Fell" and didn't shed a single tear. I felt guilty for not crying. This is the day that should always make me cry, because the loss was so huge. The pain of what happened to thousands of people that day is so tragic and senseless. It scared me to think I had become to hardened that the images flashing before my eyes no longer had an impact on my black, dead soul.

Then, just a few minutes ago, I read this post. And the tears welled up within me and by the time I got to the middle of the post, I could no longer hold back the tears. I finally cried. And I continue to cry because there are THOUSANDS of stories just like that out there. Friends lost. Husbands lost. Sisters, Mothers, Fathers, Brothers, Cousins lost.

And for what? Why? I still can't fully wrap my mind around what happened that day.

I'm so grateful that people continue to tell their personal experiences of that day. I don't want to ever forget and I don't ever want to become so callous and distant from it that I don't pause to mourn the loss of those beloved souls on that day 7 years ago.

Posted by Y at September 11, 2008 2:28 PM
Comments

Yeah, that post made me cry too.

Posted by: Nothing But Bonfires at September 11, 2008 3:02 PM

Thank you for sharing that, I agree with you, I don;t feel right about today becoming just another day. It sucks, but it is what it is.

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 11, 2008 3:09 PM

That was a powerful post alright. Thank goodness I have Kleenix at my desk....

Posted by: Nancy at September 11, 2008 3:42 PM

I didn't cry this morning, but after reading a few tribute posts and thinking about where I was and how I was feeling has changed that. I've been crying on and off all afternoon. What a terrible day that was.

Posted by: lani at September 11, 2008 4:08 PM

A few years ago, my family and I were fortunate enough to listen to a presentation given by a 9/11 World Trade Center survivor. Amazing stuff. We thanked him afterwards for sharing his story, which he regarded as his "therapy", and reminding us to live life to its fullest because you just don't know.

Posted by: Lisa at September 11, 2008 5:07 PM

Thanks for linking to that. A wonderful tribute that still ends focusing on love.

Posted by: Rachael at September 11, 2008 5:08 PM

Thank you for remembering and for the link...I am so surprised at the lack of coverage today. I didn't lose a family member or even someone I knew that day, but I lose my husband every year for months to fighting to avenge those that were lost. It makes me a little sad that it's only been seven years and we've just moved on.

Posted by: leti at September 11, 2008 6:04 PM

September 11th - it's a bittersweet day for me.

You see, my son was born on 9/11/05 and he makes me so I happy I want to squeeze things. I was in DC and saw the Pentagon billowing angry clouds of smoke from my view on the Wilson bridge. I cried that day and for days after while I heard the suddenly reassuring sound of jets making their more frequent flights above my home to Andrews AFB and I cried at 11:35 that morning - 4 years later with the raw joy of meeting my firstborn child.

Crying is part of this day for me, either way I slice it. I cry in the early part of the morning for all of the sadness, I cry closer to lunch for all of the joy. and I cry in the evening as the day wears down and the electric emotion of it all has taken it's toll on me. I am a crier, normally, but 9/11 is full of my bittersweet tears.

Posted by: tabatha at September 11, 2008 8:09 PM

I couldn't cry this morning either - until I got into my car and drove to work. I had a moment of silence in my car at 8:46am, then listened to various radio stations play versions of God Bless America and the like.

I was okay until I got onto the highway and saw the scattered drivers, traveling with headlights burning in the bright daylight. I knew they remembered too, and were affected. Then I cried.

Posted by: bessie.viola at September 12, 2008 6:38 AM

Oh man...that made me cry, too.

Posted by: Jamie at September 12, 2008 8:07 AM

Lovely.

Posted by: kris at September 12, 2008 8:29 AM

I still cry every time I watch World Trade Center.

I go to NYU, and as I was walking from class to the bus stop last night, in between buildings I could see two giant spotlights pointing up where the twin towers used to be. Then I realized, "Man, I could've seen them every day of school if they were still there."

Posted by: Michelle at September 12, 2008 2:27 PM

I am a fan of metrodad and sat at work tears streaming down my face as I read his blog on 9/11 as well

Posted by: paula at September 12, 2008 5:55 PM

I was touched by all the flags that were put up in memory in my town. I am glad we still remember. I wrote about it on my blog too. Grief is weird though. It can suck the life out of you if you let it. I think as humans we are able and have to let some parts of it go. If we really lived it all, all the time, we just couldn't go on at all.

Posted by: AA at September 12, 2008 6:11 PM

I don't cry. Wish I did. But thanks for the reminder that 9/11 losses are not just about spouses and children.

Posted by: Amy at September 12, 2008 7:23 PM

Hi Y - you are a sweet and sensitive person. I cried yesterday for the tragedy that happened but even more bitterly because many of my friends believe that our own president was involved in what happened, and for very selfish and evil motives. It's not just a fringe theory anymore. There is lots of evidence and many unanswered questions. What scares me is this kind of warped thinking may continue in our country if we all don't get out and vote and send our country in a better direction. Consult "the Google" if you think I'm crazy. I wish it couldn't possibly be true that someone would think so little of destroying so many lives, but unfortunately now I understand that there are some people who are capable of such evil without concern for the consequences.

Posted by: Mary at September 12, 2008 7:59 PM

I'm not American, but I remember that evening, watching the news, over and over, not believeing what I was seeing, and not being able to stop crying. I'd had to hold back on doing that all day, as it was my daughters 2nd birthday. Now, each year, as we celebrate her young life, a part of me cries and remembers that September 11th isn't just the anniversary of her birth.

Posted by: Juju at September 13, 2008 1:05 AM

There are some stories from that day to raise your heart too though . . .

http://blogs.coventrytelegraph.net/fromdawntillrusk/2008/09/am-i-the-only-one-with-fond-me.html

Posted by: Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk at September 13, 2008 11:57 AM

yeah. i was left speechless with tears streaming down my face.

Posted by: kris at September 13, 2008 12:03 PM

I will never forget.

Amen.

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My name is Y, but you can call me "Jesse's girl." I am an Aerobic Dancer and have mastered many moves, but the one I am the most proud of is "The Monkey." I have three kids. ALL FROM THE SAME DAD (Because, did you know someone actually asked me that question?) A 15 year old son, a 11 year old son and a 4 year old daughter who was not planned but who is loved more than words could ever express. I am addicted to Starbucks, reality TV and to getting really good deals through coupons and "club member" savings (Please, respect The Costco Card.) I am extremely competive and if you don't believe me, just ask my husband about the time I sold him out to win a game of Taboo. If you're waiting for the part where I speak of my love for walks on the beach or slow dancing in the rain, you're going to be disappointed because my idea of a good time usually involves things like "burping contests" and "doing The Worm".

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