You are AWESOME.

Not really wanting to let everyone know I'm fat too because HELLO? The pictures I take of just my face have truly fooled everyone. Duh!
I have also gained A LOT of weight in the past 3 years, have a thyroid problem, and haven't had a period in years. It's the most frustrating thing I have ever had to deal with but it's been nice to ride the ride with you - even if it was in the dark.

P.S. If one more person tells me how good I USED to look... imma fuck em up!

Oh sing it sister.
I don't have a "reason" why I'm fat. I just am.
And I'm slowly getting to the place where you are now. I want to be there. I want to love me, no matter what, and then work on getting healthy from there.
So, thanks.
This is EXACTLY what I needed to read today.

This:
I'm not deserving of love and happiness because I'm fat

is something I work on unlearning every damn day and so I wish you the utmost of success with your fight. It is the hardest thing.
You're one of my heroes for even trying. You are indeed a success story, at least to me.

I have the same "I must prove I'm worthy even though I'm fat" issue. I also know that I've used this fat to give people a reason not to like me, cause if they didn't like me and I was thin then something must really be wrong with ME. And that would be even worse.

But I'm coming around like you. Starting to accept that this is the body I have now...and wanting to be healthier. If I get skinnier that would be great too, but I want to be healthier.

You are my new hero. I am trying very hard to get where you are. It is very hard. I really have no reason to be fat, except most everyone in my family is so I keep telling myself that I came by it naturally. My period is so screwed it in unbelievable. I was having to take medication to make them start at least once every three months and then last month two days before we left on vacation, I started and haven't stopped yet. We are trying to get pregnant which is impossible if you don't have a period, not to mention unhealthly when you are huge to start with. My husband says he will excerise with me if I do it by myself for a couple of weeks to prove I am serious. Who has the motivation or energy.

Anyway, now that you have listened to a perfect stranger rant and rave on your blog, I want to say thanks for your insite and motivation. Good luck!!!!! And thanks for voicing an understanding that most people don't have.

I've been fat for a LONG time. Like 30 years. And usually I make fun of myself about it (read my blog for a few examples). I've lost before. And I've re-gained it. And lost again.

I, too, have finally arrived at the idea that I want to be HEALTHIER and if that means thinner, great. But I'm not striving for some perfect size or a number on a chart. I know in my head where I'd like to be and I'm ready to do it in a realistic way. It might take me a year or more. But it all starts with one step. Maybe we can walk together?

I know who loves whatever package you come in.

Kolbe.

Thanks, Yvonne. That was a very brave entry. I try very hard to think of my weight in terms of health and not looks...and it's so damn hard when I have three beautiful, slim sisters. Anyway, I'm getting negative and that's not I want to say - I want to say that I found this entry very encouraging, and thank you.

You are such a delight. This post made my day.

Aw! I love you.

Brave girl. Go get 'em.

Absolutely beautiful, Y. Rooting for you!

You're awesome and an inspiration!!
Maybe someday I'll be brave enough to write down my actual weight, but until than I'm the only one that will know. My insurance company doesn't even know. Obviously I can't come to terms with it myself.
Best of luck to you!!
I'll be reading and learning from you!

I stumbled upon this entry and i think you now have the right attitude. now i know im not the average reader of this blog. im a 19 year old male first off haha all these comments are from female readers and thats cool. but i thought you gals would all like to hear that its not only women who feel this pain. I was and am currently still much over weight. i recently lost some pounds just because i think i have changed my mindset as you have here. I went from 315 pounds going into my freshman year of college, the freshman 15 was of no concern to me because who would really notice? anyway the end of first year came and i had gotten my weight down to 260 pounds. 55 pounds outta nowhere! anyways thats not my point my point is that men also have this problem with being insecure about being overweight. al lmy life i have been ridiculed nicknames like fat ass and fatty or just a quick snap like shut up fat kid have damaged my self esteem very much. i am starting to look like and feel more like a normal human being but those thoughts of ridicule and embarrassment i think will take years to relieve. I also wanted to say that recently i have been finding out that i have missed out on so many oportunities at love and a good relationship with girls i have liked due to my low self esteem. i thought how could she ever like me nobody could love or want to be with me. But no more! no more not taking chances no more not going after what i want due to my self esteem. i think its very hard to get out of that mindset and i still am not but i applaud you at what you are doing and wish you all the best

Props to that doctor for making you redefine success. One small step at a time!!

I agree with that doctor so much! Also, measure your success on clothing. Does it all still fit? Yay! It is looser? Yay! When I can put on anything in my closet is when I know I am doing ok. I know I'm fucking up when things get tight. That is the way to gauge things. Throw out the scale (I wish I could but I have to keep tabs due to health issues). It'll only make you insane.

Honey. You just don't understand how beautiful you are right this second, in your current body. You are beautiful, and that's what I think every time I see you.

You have had a few posts in the past that I was sure couldn't be topped. This one ranks right up there with them. This is one of my favorites and one I will revisit when I need a dose of reality. See, I am back on the weight loss wagon- and I can relate with so much of what you say about your weight. This time though, I am trying to make it more about being healthy rather than vanity. Your writing speaks volumes for so many of us! Thank you!

Y, you inspired me to join Weight Watchers last summer -- I don't know if saying that comes off weird, I think it sounds like LOL LOOK AT U which obviously I do not mean AT ALL, never never never. I just mean that I read your archives and looked at your weight loss gallery, and I finally realized I needed to effing DO SOMETHING.

I was 120 pounds when I was 10, and I remember wishing I could just lose 40 pounds, that was all I needed. I've had weight issues forever, but I'm only just realizing it now. I was the youngest in my class because I'd skipped a grade, and that gave the other girls a trillion reasons to make fun of me. They called me fat, too, because why not? I'm only realizing now that maybe other kids don't live with that from first grade on.

I started Weight Watchers last August, admittedly not as wholeheartedly as I should've. Over this summer I didn't do anything and I gained five pounds back. As of right now though, I've lost 17 pounds, 10% of my original weight. And it's HARD sometimes, like tonight I had a four hour meeting and totally didn't want to come home and make a 7 point dinner. I wanted food from the sandwich place, 16 points.

I came home and cooked the 7 point dinner, I didn't give in. It's FINALLY clicking with me that I need to stay strong. (Ok, I say this even though I know I'm going to a pizza dinner tomorrow, but at least I didn't screw up even MORE.) I thank you so much for inspiring me to ever try any of this in the first place.

You rock, Y. You are beautiful, you are strong, you are funny (except when you're being serious ;-) ) I, too, will walk with you when you want to, I will cheer from the sidelines if you wish. The journey to fitness, not a size ?, is a journey well worth it. Love you, girl.

I'm so glad you've found peace within. I am hopeful that makes your journey easier. Your reasons for losing weight are akin to my reasons for not smoking. Go you!

I wish you the best to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I was recently confronted with high bp and high heritary cholesterol. My nutrition had improved greatly over the summer. Now I need to get moving, not to be skinny, but to be healthy.

Keep loving yourself no matter what!

*hugs* that's all. i need Y-therapy, man!

It's it funny how many people have these type moments at the same time. I was at my mom's house over the weekend, reading one of her old lady magazines (Good Housekeeping or something similar) and it had an article about a woman who lost 100 lbs in one year. She did it not by "dieting" but rather by making small changes in her eating habits, and by adding exercise (but a reasonable amount, like 30 mins per day). Now I am not foolish enough to think that small changes like that will work with a thyroid related health issue, but I am sincerely trying to implement the theory into my day to day life. I am usually an "all or nothing" person when it comes to diet and exercise, which explains why I have lost and gained the same 35 pounds at least 10 times.
All this to say - thank you for the post. Please continue writing about this topic, and help keep me moving in the right direction.

You. Are. Awesome.
I'm so proud of you, and this new healthy attitude. What a breakthrough!!

"What I AM saying is that I was horribly wrong to buy into the lie that I'm not deserving of love and happiness because I'm fat."

YES YES YES YES YES!!!! It is a lie!!! You don't need that crap!

(By the way, I am sorry that you (and so many of us) did buy into that attitude. My happiness is that you have realized it and tossed it aside)

I'll be turning 50 in February and my goal is to accept myself as I am. Love myself as I am. I really love this entry. It speaks to me. Your success is my success. Thanks!

Delurking to say I think you are brave to speak the way you are about your weight and your struggles with body image and your quest to be healthier. You are inspiring. Thank you.

Inspiring. In every way.

I really needed to read this today. Thanks for this!

Fantastic Yvonne. Go you!

You da bomb.

Just an idea...You should request copies of your blood work that you've had recently done...check your cholesterol, high blood pressure, pulse, etc and then check them all again in 3 or 4 months. You will be surprised at your progress. I lowered my pulse from 95 to 75 in 3 short months by just exercising. It feels so good to know its not pumping as fast as it used to and that I'm taking care of it better. :o)

Thank you SO much for publishing this! I'm going to show it to DH tonight.

DH is very overweight. He wouldn't ask me out for 4 years because he thought I wouldn't be interested since he was fat and I wasn't. His sis and I wore him down. (OK, we bullied him) Now he sees how much time he wasted. We've been married for over 2 years and have a beautiful "honeymoon baby". (DS will be 2 on Jan 4, we'll have been married 3 years March 17)

He seems to have developed the same attitude about his weight that you are developing. You have no idea how much this post will help SO many people.

Thank you again.

Completely inspiring. It took me a very long time to learn that I measure my own success. Thanks.

You go Y! That's the right attitude. I'll be following along, as always, especially if you can ave more danceoffs or other stories that make me laugh til I cry. And I'll be joining you in a few months when it's time to take off this baby weight (oh and the baby weight from 3 years ago, too). Congrats for reaching this place.

Wow, I would have never put that all together on my own, but it was as if I had written it! How did you get in my brain?

Best wishes to you. You are inspiring.

Brillant post. I could not agree with you more about not determining our value and worthiness based on the number on the scale.

Here's to you, and wishing you all the best.

Inspiring! I also have Hashimoto's and have trouble losing weight. I was diagnosed five years ago and have steadily put on weight. I am now holding my own and hoping to lose some of it soon so I'll have more energy and feel better. Now, if I could just eliminate some stress I'd be in good shape. Wishing you well!

You're incredible at any size, with any shape. Thanks for today's post.

You go girl!

I love the moment of decision, the moment when you know that yes! I can do it this time! And [or, because] it is for the right, health-giving reasons! I had that moment a year ago and lost about 20 pounds, and have more or less kept it off. I'm now gearing up to get rid of the last 10.

I really do love your blog, and admire your honesty.

Thank you for this message. I love your attitude and I'm grateful to that doctor for redefining success.

I can't possibly convey what reading this did for my psyche today, so I'll just say thank you for this post. You are a beautiful person, inside and out.

Does this mean the Aerobic Dancing Queen is back? God, I hope so :)

Helllo. You're super awesome. I pretty much loved reading that. You're awesome!. :)

Bravo!!! I love this post!!!

You should never be afraid to hit publish on something this awesome and inspiring.

Good luck!

That is a success story. And I think it's pretty freaking impressive.

I've been overweight, I've suffered from anorexia. I've been on both ends, and I've been in the middle. Very few people are ever satisfied with how they look or with how much they weigh and it's sad. I'm really glad that you're spending so much of your energy teaching your daughter to be happy with who she is.

I think that if more people spent time doing that, a lot more women my age would have spent a lot less time freaking out when they gained a pound after a fun weekend or skipping a workout. You know, spending more time living their lives instead of counting their calories.

www.thedailyplate.com has been a terrific resource for me in this healthy lifestyle journey!

Best wishes.

Bravo!

I finally decided this year to stop stressing about my weight. I'm heavy, I know I'm heavy, and I'm tired of worrying about it.

I've lost 20 lbs by not worrying about it. I still eat more junk than I should, but I also make a lot of healthier choices. Just cutting my soda consumption back and drinking more water helped a lot. I've also been keeping a food journal- just looking back over it shows me where I'm doing well and where I still need to make changes.

You rock, girlfriend! And I'm glad you're not letting the haters and jerk doctors of the world drag you down.

(and if you ever want to try a recipe swap, count me in)

Take a look at http://foodconfessional.wordpress.com/ - it's a group of people taking it one day at a time, inching away at the waistband. It's made the HUGEST difference to me (although I'm not currently active). Small steps are something I can cope with. Simple things like counting the things I did NOT eat today (despite temptation) rather than focusing on the things I did eat.

There are certainly people out there than can make you feel okay about your weight. It took me 20 years to find one of them.

I agree with you - losing weight is not about being skinny or preventing people from judging you. It's about being healthy. I want to be healthy for my future husband, and for the kids we're going to have.

I lost 70 pounds, and I suddenly loved myself (even though I was still overweight). Then I gained 25 of them back. And you know what? I still love myself. I don't actually know what caused the change it me.. it was probably Josh's unconditional love and constantly saying "please don't get too skinny."

What a brave and fantastic post.

My (GASP) 180 lb self is cheering you on! And me as well, since that is the first time I've ever publically admitted my weight. My husband doesn't even know it. So, THANK YOU!

You are most excellent awesome. I will not disclose my weight. But let's say, I could lose a few pounds. If by a few you mean "30-50."

I've been there. Keep it up. One day, one pound (if you can) at a time. Be healthy.

After trying on clothes tonight (at Target, natch), I really really needed to read this. Thank you, Y. And I look forward to reading about your new journey.

Thank you for sharing this, and yes - you can and you will have that waistline again.

You are amazing. And the definition of beautiful. I'm here for your journey to root you on to whatever place you want to be.

Y, you know that C.S. Lewis quote that goes something like, "You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body"? That's what I've been struggling to learn as regards my weight. Sounds like you're on the same journey. I love this post, and I love you for writing it.

Thankfully, bravery comes in all shapes and sizes. You are another data point which proves that!

I think you are wonderful :)
Good luck!!

I love you.

Also. Dude.

You HAD to have burned 1500 calories laughing for the last 12 hours.

I think after your first 10 pounds you should reward yourself with a SHINY NEW KEYBOARD!

Thank you, Thank you, I so needed to be with you here today. I'm so frustrated. I've lost thirty pounds and I feel stuck and like a failure - I still have so much to go. I've been contemplating the lap band, purging (too gross and unhealthy) or weird diet pills (too unhealthy). I have to remember that thirty pounds is the size of a healthy three year old and eight pounds is the same as a small bowling ball. Thank you.

Thank you. A million times over, Thank you.

I never thought of it that way - that the disparaging words you use to describe yourself actually disparage others as well. So insightful, Y.

FWIW, I think you're gorgeous as you are, truly. But I really want to see you at many more BlogHerCons to come, so I applaud your healthy efforts.

Y- you blow me away with your honestly and I love that about you. I don't even know you but I would love to hang out with you. You are so real and down to earth it is refreshing. you are osmeone who I could be friends with. Anyway I am a fluffy girl myself. I also have a problem , PCOS. It sucks ass and makes my body store fat. It is the biggest pain in the ass to loose weight. But I do like what your doctor said. It makes you think about things a bit differently. I hope to be comfortable in my body one day soon. My husband deploys for Iraq soon and I hope to be a tad thinner when he returns. I would love any advice you give while you take this journey. Best of luck and God bless.

Honey, as someone who swung in the other direction, I am here to tell you that 125 or 251: attitude is everything. Coming in at (short person) at 107, I still find fault. It's crazy. Women in this culture start out with about 10 strikes against us, from birth.

The topic is quite curious, i must say

Grand emplacement - le bon travail ! ! !

could it be it? i was searching for information needed for such a long time. Thank you!