Lately, it seems I'm a constant disappointment to the people in my life.

Let's take today for example. I called my Dad this morning, 20 minutes before his service started, to wish him a Happy Fathers Day and to tell him I wanted to come over after church to bring him his present. "All morning I thought you were going to surprise me and come to church... that's all I wanted. That would have been the best present in the world."

Guess who was still in their pajamas? And who had no intention on going to church?

I hung up with my Dad, feeling awful, knowing I had disappointed hm yet again. That is when my husband thought it would be a good time to remind me for the 15th time that I didn't give my Grandma a card for her birthday. He kept going on and on about it until I got pissed off and fought back with anger and tears. "How many birthday cards did you give YOUR Grandma while she was alive?" (The answer? NONE.) He was quick to point out the only reason I said such an ugly thing was "out of guilt" and to try to make myself feel better.

I wanted to write a heartfelt post for my husband for Fathers Day, but it's not easy to do when I'm hurt and angry with him. But no matter how I feel about him right this very moment, I must acknowledge what an incredible father he is to our children. He always put his children first and I've never once heard him complain about how hard he works every day of his life to make sure they're taken care of. He's patient, compassionate and creative. Our children love him deeply and they are aware of how lucky they are to have such a dedicated man as their father.

I wish I could do this morning all over again, but since I can't, I'll just say Happy Fathers Day, Tony. I still love you.