Last week I had a follow up appointment with my new female endocrinologist.
My first visit with her was not fun. I had not had a period in almost 6 months. I could not lose weight no matter how much I worked out or watched what I ate. I felt tired all of the time, even though my thyroid numbers were finally in the normal range. I was an emotional and physical wreck.
I told her about my symptoms. I told her how my doctor told me to "just enjoy" not having a period. I told her about my frustration with my weight. I told her how I felt like no one was truly listening to me.
I cried.
And I cried.
And I cried some more.
It was embarrassing.
She listened. But more importantly, she heard what I was saying and she properly diagnosed me.
"I believe you're insulin resistant." She said. "I want to put you on a medication that will help your body be more sensitive to insulin."
Out of desperation, I trusted her.
Turns out, I was right to trust her. She saved my life.
I'm sure that sounds dramatic, but if you had experienced the hell I was going through physically, you'd understand.
I'm thinner. I'm happier. I am NOT TIRED ALL OF THE TIME. I have periods every!single!month! without fail. I can think clearly again.
I feel joy again.
I feel so many things that I haven't felt in years.
Good things. Beautiful things. HORNY THINGS.
*******
Before I left her office, she told me she was going to order a new round of test, just to make sure all was truly well.
"If all your tests come back fine, I'll want to see you again in 6 months." She said.
"Sounds good to me." I replied.
As we walked out of the room, she turned to me, put her hand on my shoulder and said "I'm really proud of you, Y."
I tried to fight it, but I am an Emotional Asshole who can not control The Tears.
I started to cry.
"I am so grateful for what you did for me." I said. "You actually listened to me and you NAILED IT. You gave me the answers I needed to finally get healthy again."
"No." she said. "You did it all. You did all of the work and you should be so proud of yourself."
You know what?
I am proud of myself.
Proud that I stood up for myself, even though it was uncomfortable, even though it made OTHER people uncomfortable. I'm proud that I didn't allow myself to be intimidated. That I said "You're not doing a good job for me." and sought out someone who could help me.
I have my readers to thank for giving me the courage I needed to do it. You told me I deserved someone who would listen. You told me to get a new doctor already. It was your comments I thought of as I typed the email to my doctor, basically saying "I don't want to see you anymore."
HOLY MEDICAL CHEESE.
I can't help it. This is the first time in years that I feel so full of life, energy and most of all, hope.
I am happy to say, my tests have all come back normal. Thyroid is great (.71, y'all!) B-12 levels are great! Kidneys and liver? FINE! Weight? Coming off. (Very. Slowly. BUT! It's okay.)
Down 26 inches and 42 pounds. (Only 6 pounds away from the 180's!)
For those of you who are brave enough to look, I am posting my current weight photos after the jump. Beware: there will be "sagging belly" and also CHEESY SMILES.
You look happy.
And that?
Looks beautiful.